


A Timeless Connection

by Dolavine



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Blow Jobs, Fingering, M/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-01
Updated: 2010-08-01
Packaged: 2018-02-10 10:08:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 46,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2021055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolavine/pseuds/Dolavine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jensen is thirteen years old he discovers that he has the ability to slip through time. Now in the year 2010 he is a thirty two year old man in a committed relationship with Jared Padalecki. In order to help Jared out of a bind at his work he decides to do a small time slip back a few weeks only he accidentally goes too far. He finds himself in the Year 2000 where Jared is an eighteen year old college student who has never heard of Jensen Ackles. This is a story of rediscovery and the finding and or proving that no matter how much space you put between two destined souls that true love is “A Timeless Connection”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

** 1991 **

Jensen blows the candles out on his thirteenth Birthday cake as he makes a secret wish.

Later that night he lays in bed with his new baseball mitt on his hand as he throws a baseball up into the air catching it when it comes back down. He thinks about how everyone told him he’s a man today, how thirteen is such a great age, but all he knows is that thirteen sucks so far because he doesn’t feel any different. He rolls over and looks at the poster of Superman hanging on his wall and wishes he had superpowers too. Wishes he could do something special, something so special that even scientists would be baffled at how he can do it, like make himself invisible, or run at lightning speeds, or maybe even be bulletproof. He stares at the poster in a daze as his mother looks in his door. “Okay Jensen, even big boys need their sleep.” She says switching off the light and closing the door. “Good night.”

He rolls over on his back and stares at the ceiling. “Yeah, something really great,” he says out loud as he drifts off to sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*!*  
Jensen sits in history class thinking about how much he really dislikes history, how he hates the fact that history is in the past and he only wants only to be in the future. His teacher Mr. Barnaby always says; you can learn a lifetime of lessons from the past, but all Jensen knows is that the past is over with and long gone now.

Mr. Barnaby is giving another one of his endless speeches about how the Second World War was one of history’s greatest times and Jensen can feel himself slipping off into a dream world. He looks over to see Sandy McCoy staring at him and he smiles at her.

Sandy McCoy is the prettiest girl in his history class; she dates Mike Rosenbaum, a tenth grader who is on the wrestling team.

Jensen isn’t vying for her affections because he isn’t interested in defending himself from the brute force of Mike’s jealousy. He smiles, turning his head to gaze out the window and wishes he was outside instead of here in class being bored to death. He wants to be in the cool shade sitting under the big oak tree like he does every morning before 1st period. He feels himself slipping into a sleepy daze, he feels dizzy, everything starts humming and he closes his eyes with the heady feeling. He suddenly feels startled like he is waking up from a deep sleep, his skin is buzzing and when he opens his eyes he’s outside under the oak tree sitting on the warm green grass.

He’s confused at first not sure what’s happening and then he starts to freak out, he stands up looking around wondering if this is a dream, he warily reaches over and touches the tree to make sure it’s real, pinches himself to make sure he is awake and looks over at the building up to the window of his history class and falls into a panic.

He can see Mr. Barnaby working at the chalkboard, the class is taking notes, and his seat, is empty. He looks around nervously his chest heaving as he’s breathing rapidly. “What the Hell?” He spouts out as he tries to hide behind the big tree so that no one sees him. He tries to stay hidden until he can sneak back into the building safely without fear of being caught cutting class.

He can’t figure out what happened, how he moved from the classroom to outside. He can’t remember what he might have done or what he was doing before he opened his eyes and was outside. He is completely baffled.

Sandy is standing at her locker when Jensen approaches her and asks if he can borrow her notes from history class as he missed them when he left class early. Leaving early is the only lie he can come up with hoping that nobody noticed how he just disappeared from his seat in the middle of class.  
Sandy laughs. “Yeah, left class early, who are you trying to fool Jensen?” Her eyes narrow as she glares at him and folds her arms across her chest.  
He looks back at her with a startled expression. “What do you mean; I missed the notes when I had to leave class early.” He says trying to pass off the fact that he missed the whole second half of class because he was busy hiding behind the oak tree scared out of his freaking mind.  
She makes a funny face at him and blows hard through her lips making a flapping sound. She points a well manicured finger coated in pink lacquer at his chest. “Jensen Ross Ackles everyone knows you skipped History class today. I saw you sitting under the oak tree before class and then you never showed up but when I looked out the window there you were sleeping under the tree. You’re so lucky Principal Jacobs didn’t see you or you would be in detention.” She pulls her notebook out of her locker and hands it to him. “Make copies and give it back before the end of the day.” She walks off flipping her long dark hair behind her and giving Jensen a coy sideways glance before turning the corner out of his view.

Later that night at home Jensen sits on his bed, legs crossed Indian style his palms on his knees, head leaning back, eyes closed and breathing slow and purposeful. He wants to see if he can try and recreate the very thing that caused him to possibly have moved through time or at least through the walls of the classroom. He wonders if he emulates the great Yogis, who claim to be able to move through time and space, if he can manifest it again. He tries to think about being outside on the porch sitting on the swing. He squeezes his eyes tight as he thinks hard about it, wishes upon all wishes that he will be there when he opens his eyes and then he pops his eyes open to see he is still sitting on his bed.  
“Damn it.” He curses. He doesn’t know what’s missing, what part of the equation he isn’t repeating.  
A feminine voice chimes in from the hallway. “Jensen Ross Ackles watch your language.” Jensen sighs. “Aww Mom.” He groans. The voice echoes back. “Watch your language or no TV tonight.” Jensen rolls his eyes. “Yes Ma’am.” He says compliantly.

Two weeks pass and nothing more happens. He tries repeatedly to move out of history class, to move anywhere at any time, he even tries numerous variations of what he thought he did to move through space, he even went so far as to close his eyes and relax totally causing himself to fall asleep and get in trouble for it, but no more moving, no more disappearing through time.

** 1993 **

[ ](http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a348/Dolavine/?action=view&current=divider_4.jpg)

Two years pass and Jensen has no more incidents with time travel as he likes to refer to it. He tries many times to repeat his process, to rekindle that one time spark he had begun to think was nothing more than a figment of his own imagination or just a dream but nothing, so he decides he won’t think of it again.

Fifteen is a fresh start for him, no more childish dreams and his Superman poster has been replaced with a poster of Cindy Crawford in a bikini from A Sports Illustrated that his brother Jeff has forced on him claiming it’s a coming of age thing. Personally Jensen likes his poster of Joe Lando from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman much better but he’d never let Jeff know that.

Jensen’s parents have rented the local bowling alley for his party so he invited a group of friends from his baseball team and school to attend. Sandy is the first to show up. “Thanks for inviting me Jensen,” she says shyly.  
Jensen smiles as he puts on his rented shoes. “Glad you could make it Sandy.”  
Jensen helps Sandy pick a ball off the back wall rack. “This should be a good weight for you.” He says holding it in her hands from behind. She smiles blushing red.  
“I’ve really never bowled; I’ll probably make rain gutter balls all night.” She says.  
Jensen laughs. “It’s just gutter balls Sandy and don’t worry before anyone gets here I’ll show you how.” He leads her to one of the lanes they have rented for the day.

Jensen starts to show Sandy how to hold the ball, he stands behind her and puts the ball on her hand, positions the ball just right and walks her up the lane before swinging her arm back and showing her how to release the ball. Sandy lets it go, it rolls down the alley at a slow speed but hits seven pins and knocks them over. Jensen smiles at her. “There see no rain gutter balls for you.” Jensen flashes her a smile that is all teeth and lips.  
Sandy claps her hands and jumps excitedly. “Yay!” She cheers.

The party is a success, everyone shows up, has a good time, eats, bowls and is getting ready to leave when Sandy walks over to Jensen who is putting on his sneakers and sits down next to him on the bench.  
“Jensen?” She says shakily.  
Jensen looks up. “Yeah Sandy?”  
“I... I...” She stammers on the word.  
“You what, Sandy?” Jensen looks in her wide eyes.’  
“Oh, I just wanted to say thanks for inviting me.” She smiles shyly.  
“Well, thanks for coming.” Jensen says rubbing his hand on the back of his neck nervously.  
“Yeah, I had a great time.” She says leaning towards him her lips quivering, her hand hitting his thigh as he leans back against the bench.  
“Sandy wha… ?” is all he can get out before Sandy presses her lips against Jensen’s mouth shoving him back against the bench. He can feel his heart race with fear and his palms go sweaty, the room spins, his head dizzy, his ears humming and all he can think is, why did I teach her how to bowl? He closes his eyes tight as his whole body tingles with electricity and he goes blank.

When he opens his eyes, he’s standing behind Sandy showing her how to hold the bowling ball and then his mind snaps into place and he panics. He pulls away from her, his breath hard and he looks around the room. Everything is like it was just three hours earlier.

 

He’s helping Sandy pick out a ball, the man at the counter is cleaning shoes, his parents are ordering the drinks and food, and Sandy is being all coy and seductive with the “I’ve never bowled before, I’ll probably throw rain gutter balls all night” line. Jensen smiles as his brain assesses the situation and he knows he is right back in his body three hours earlier. He hasn’t had his party, Sandy hasn’t kissed him yet and he has a chance to keep it from happening again.

 

 

 

The next day at School Sandy doesn’t smile at Jensen when she passes him in the hallway and Jensen doesn’t mind because he didn’t have to kiss her yesterday.

When Sandy had come over to the bench for the kiss Jensen was ready for her. She sat down and started her speech but Jensen cut her off.  
“Sandy I know you like me, you want to kiss me, you want to date me but it ain’t gonna happen so don’t bother trying.” He tells her. Sandy gets so upset she smacks him across the face. “Humpf. As if I would want to kiss you Jensen Ross Ackles, you, you egomaniac.” She says angrily before getting up and storming off.

Jensen spends the next two weeks trying to hone his newfound skill. He spends lots of time after school alone in his room practicing slipping through time back a few hours doing things differently, watching things he missed on television because of Jeff and his obsession with Baywatch. He’s not mastered it by far but he knows the basic skills of how to go backwards a few hours to be where he wanted to be in that space in time. He often wonders if he could move forward but has no idea how to do it. He doesn’t have a reference to where he would want to be and if he doesn’t exist yet in the future would he have a body to land in?

He thinks he’s figured out that when he slips through time he’s only slipping back into his body from that period in time and that he is not actually in any form of coexistence with himself in that space in time but is actually himself from that time period. He figures that there is no fear of upsetting anything set in stone, only having the chance to relive or redo things he wants to actually be able to change to suit himself. Although if he was able to go into the future he couldn’t be entirely sure that Back to the Future wasn’t actually some kind of a blueprint to a rule of coexistence, but he wasn’t all that worried about going into the unknown as the past is good enough for him right now.

He uses his time bending skills for important things like retaking a test he failed and making sure he was in the right place at the right time to bump into a particular guy he liked for a “ _chance_ ” meeting. He never wanted to change the world with his skill and he definitely doesn’t want to share this information with anyone else because being a time bender might put him on the CIA’s most wanted list. 

[Chapter 2](http://j2-ficwhore.livejournal.com/5283.html)


	2. Part 2 A timeless Connection J2 Big Bang

** Chapter 2 **

** 1996 **

[ ](http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a348/Dolavine/?action=view&current=divider_3.jpg)

  


Jensen Graduates from high school with Honors and receives a scholarship to Texas A&M University.

He enters college in the fall and decides he wants to major in Sociology because the idea of studying people and human behavior completely fascinates him.

** 2000-2003 **

[ ](http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a348/Dolavine/?action=view&current=divider_3.jpg)

  
Jensen works hard and studies even harder going to school even over summer break to finish school and graduate early with his degree.

He graduates from College in the upper portion of his class with a four year degree in Sociology.

After graduation he is offered a job with the University in the Sociology department as a faculty teaching assistant/researcher and decides to take the job offer.

** 2004 **

Jensen has perfected his time bending skills to include slipping back as far as two weeks to fix something he did wrong and then being able to slip back ahead to the present just where he left from and no further.

He has also discovered that when he slips forward again after he changes things, his mind makes the adjustments for the new memories to take over. The new memories act like downloads replacing the old ones and the effect leaves him with all new memories erasing most if not all of the previous ones, leaving him with only a slight mix of the old and the reality of all the new memories.

He discovers he can return to the time he slipped out of by complete accident. He hadn’t even been trying to move forward, all he had wanted to do was change things with his boyfriend but he learned an important lesson about his ability because of it.

He was dating Professor Tom Welling, the head of the Journalism department for the past year, but he had begun to suspect he was cheating on him so he decided to catch him in the act.

One night Jensen slipped back a few hours and followed Tom from work to a motel where he watched him meet up with one of his students. He felt betrayed. So hurt he wished he had never wanted to catch him in the act of his betrayal, he wished he had never wanted to see it actually happening and in that instant he felt an unusual tingling, a white light enveloped him and he looped back to his body at the very instant from where he had made the initial slip. He couldn’t believe he could move forward with such ease, the same ease as when he slips out.

The sad thing is that he remembered everything from the trip back in time. He decided to use the information, catch Tom in the act and end this deceitful relationship.

Jensen drives to the Star Dust Motel and knocks on the door to room twelve. Tom answers the door wrapped in only the bed sheet with a disgruntled look on his face. “What!” He yells as he swings the door open to see Jensen standing there. Jensen can see the secret in the room, he’s a young muscular man seductively sprawled out on the bed wearing only a smile. Jensen looks into Tom’s surprised expression and without uttering an angry word he hands him the suitcase he has packed for him and tells him not to come back home because they’re over. Tom watches him walk away and Jensen wonders if he is still watching him but refuses to look back.

** 2005-2010 **

[ ](http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a348/Dolavine/?action=view&current=string-theory-divider_1.jpg)

Jensen’s world is about to change when he accidentally meets the new Physics Professor in the student union cafeteria.

Jensen exits the cafeteria line with his usual lunch consisting of; a cup of chicken rice soup, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat, coffee with an insane amount of creamers and a slice of the pie of the day. He searches the crowded cafeteria for an empty seat possibly next to another faculty member as he hates eating with the students.

He spies a tall sandy haired man with a wannabe beard sitting alone as he reads a book and munches on a bag of potato chips at a corner table.  
“He looks like a good candidate.” Jensen thinks to himself.

He walks over to the table and asks. “May I sit here?”, sitting his tray down as he pulls out a chair.

The man looks up barely noticing Jensen. “Sure, makes no mind to me.” He says looking back down at his book and continuing to eat his chips. Jensen sits down and puts three of the creamers into his cup of coffee before sipping at the steaming brew. He looks over at the studious man reading his book that was apparently taken from the pile next to him as all of them are based on Physics and tries to start a conversation. “So, Science department?” He says taking a huge bite of his sandwich and pointing to the pile of books.  
The man looks up at him. “Yes.” He says abruptly with a mildly irritated tone before he resumes his reading. He puts his chips down and makes a loud sighing noise as he runs his hand through his shaggy brown hair.

Jensen watches the man reading his book; he notices his nice facial features, broad shoulders, long thin build, and big hands with very long slender fingers. He smirks as he thinks about how he likes big hands and this man has beautifully big hands. Jensen always sizes up hands and feet because in his experience the bigger the hands and feet the better the cock. He smiles to himself as he wonders what kind of lover this Physics department guy might make.

Jensen finishes his lunch and gets up to leave but decides to introduce himself to the man before leaving. He extends his hand and smiles with his biggest I think you’re kinda sexy smile. “Jensen Ackles, Sociology department.” He says cheerfully.

The man looks up then down at Jensen’s outstretched hand before engulfing it in his larger palm shaking firmly. “Jared Padalecki, Physical Science department.”

Jensen smiles. “Nice to meet you, Jared Padalecki. Maybe we can have lunch together again one day and have an actual conversation over it.”

Jared just smiles and lets go of Jensen’s hand. “Maybe.” He says returning his gaze back to his book.

Jensen walks away as Jared secretly watches him out of the corner of his eye as he empties his trash into the disposal can before heading out through the cafeteria doors.

Jared doesn’t get to socialize much as he’s a very professionally driven science minded person who finds most other conversation boring, so the thought of getting to know someone outside of his professional field like Jensen, isn’t very high on his list of priorities at the moment but he does have to admit that this Jensen is a very handsome man. He secretly smiles at Jensen’s sexy strut and the way his trousers fit the curves of his behind just right before he looks away returning to his book.

 

Jensen decides to make a minor- okay, major - detour this morning through the Physics department on his way to his office. He walks past the two small offices marked Physics department looking for Jared’s name. He then comes to the laboratory rooms where in big bold print on one of the lab doors is the title; Theoretical Physical Sciences Jared Padalecki. Jensen peeks through the glass but he doesn’t see him inside. Jensen frowns and turns to leave when he bumps into someone whose arms are of full of papers and books.

Jensen is knocked backward, papers and books falling on top of him as he hits the floor. He looks up and it’s Jared. He smiles and starts to laugh. “Fancy bumping into you again.” He says jokingly.

Jared drops the rest of his supplies on the floor next to Jensen and offers him his hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t see you there.” He says looking into Jensen’s’ green eyes as he blushes with embarrassment.

Jensen laughs and takes his offered hand as he is hauled up off the floor. “It’s okay man, no worries.” He says letting his grip linger just a little bit longer than necessary in Jared’s hand.

Jared starts to pick up his books and papers. Jensen helps him and bends over putting his behind in Jared’s face completely by accident. Jared looks up, sees it and realizes this is Jensen from the cafeteria lunch table the other day.

Jensen stands upright and turns around noticing Jared looking at his ass. “Where do you want me to put these?” He says his hands full of papers.

Jared smiles at the sight, a twinkle in his eye as he remembers Jensen’s behind from the other day. “Oh I recognize you now; you’re Jensen Ackles from the Sociology department.” He says confidently.

“That would be me.” Jensen says laughing. “You got that from my ass did ya?” his laugh a little louder now.

Jared blushes, his cheeks flushed so pink he could be wearing rouge. “Uh, no, well, yes but it’s not what you think, well, maybe it is but I have a photographic memory and I saw you walking out of the cafeteria the other day and I, well.. remember the shape and curves.” Jared’s skin and ears feel blistering hot and his tongue goes immediately dry.

Jensen smiles his voice heavy with a chuckle. “It’s okay dude no worries, if my ass is that memorable to you then I say all the better. Now, where do you want me to put these?” He holds out the papers.

Jared fumbles with his keys and opens the double doors to his lab. Jensen looks around the room with its mechanical looking machines and chalkboards full of formulas that look like Greek to him.

“So, this is your Physics lab? Where you work out all of those nifty ideas like the velocity of a penny when it hits the earth if dropped from the top of the Empire state building?”

“Not exactly.” Jared laughs. “I’m a Theoretical Physicist, I deal with the ideas of Alternate Plains, time and space continuums, worm holes, and the Theoretical ideas of the Universe. I then try to prove all of my theories with the use of formulas, theorems, and mathematical equations.” He points to the chalkboards loaded with what looks like confusing scribble to Jensen.

Jensen nods his head feeling overwhelmed with Jared’s intelligence and thinks maybe he should just slip back to about ten minutes ago and completely miss bumping into Jared because clearly he has nothing in common with him.

Jared notices Jensen’s confused look and leads him over to his chalkboard and runs his finger underneath a numerical equation. “Now you see this equation Jensen?” He points to the massive equation involving numbers, letters, symbols and powers with strange squiggly drawings. “Yeah.” Jensen says with an intimidated voice.

“Now think about a wormhole, a tunnel in the time space continuum that can fold itself in half allowing anything or one that is sucked into its vortex to travel millions of miles or light years through time and space in a few minutes or seconds to a completely different space.” He points to the symbols his eyes lighting up as he explains the equation.

Jensen cocks his head trying to make heads and tails of the equation. “So, that’s what a wormhole does? I mean, I’ve heard of them before, hell I’ve watched Stargate, Farscape and Doctor Who. I just never really gave it any actual thought.” He furrowed his brow with the thought.

“Well I really wouldn’t use science fiction as my main reference to a real wormhole but sure, you get the idea from it.” Jared laughs turning away from his chalkboard and back to the mass of papers and books on the table.

“Yeah, yeah, I understand the idea of folding time and space and all that stuff.” Jensen says touching his chest as he thinks about how he can slip, how he might actually be some type of human wormhole or something.

Jared looks at him and notices a faraway look in his eyes and wonders if he hasn’t made his point past the concept of Doctor Who and decides to let it go. “Yeah well I figure out how all of that could, should or does work. That’s what I do, more or less.”

Jensen steps back and takes a good look at Jared with his white button up shirt the top four buttons open with his white crew collar t-shirt peeking out, his hair slightly messed up, more than two day old stubble growing on his jaw and he finds him sexier than he ever thought he could find someone who is as academically inclined as he is. He swallows hard and wants to ask Jared to have lunch with him today but worries his intellect wouldn’t match up very well so instead he decides to make his excuse and leave. “Well I better get to my office, time’s getting away from me and I have lots to do today.” He turns to leave and Jared reaches out and takes his elbow. “Maybe we could have lunch together again. My break is at one o’clock, I’ll be at the cafeteria because, I always eat lunch at the cafeteria and I promise not to bring my books.” His eyes are bright and he has an expectant smile on his face.

Jensen smiles back at him. “Sure I can take my break then.” He points at Jared as he walks out the door. “Now remember, no books this time.” Jensen shoots him a wide toothy smile as he turns to head out the door. Jared watches Jensen leaving and his eyes slip down to watch his ass again as he lets out a long satisfied sigh.

Jensen sits at his desk doing research for his department when his watch alarm goes off and he knows that it’s 1pm. He puts on his sweater and heads down to the Student Union  
Cafeteria.

Jared’s sitting at the same table as yesterday only this time with a tray of food and not just an energy drink and chips. He watches as people come and go waiting expectantly for Jensen to appear. He looks down at his tray and wishes he had brought just one book to take his mind off of the anticipation of seeing Jensen again. He looks at his watch. 1:02pm. His eyes scan the doorway again as he worries that Jensen has forgotten their lunch date. He shoves the food around his plate. “Maybe it’s not a date.” He thinks. “Maybe it’s just a lunch.” He swallows hard, the square yellow potatoes sliding around the prongs of his fork.

Jensen steps through the cafeteria line with his tray in hand and sees Jared picking at his potato salad as he walks over to the table. “Is this seat taken?” He asks as he pulls the chair out.

Jared looks up and smiles. “Now it is.” He says popping a fork full of potato salad into his mouth, smile bright around the fork. He wants to ask Jensen if this is just lunch or a date but decides against it and just to go with it letting it take whatever direction it goes in.

Their conversation is light, they talk about their families, jobs, and movies of which Jared hadn’t much to input as he hadn’t seen a movie since The Black Hole when he was 10 and the rented DVD of Tron last year.

He loves watching Jared talk and his smile, that infectious gentle innocent smile of his. He likes the way his dimples sink into his cheeks and his eyes squint up. He likes his laugh too, a throaty hearty laugh that makes him throw his head back as he belts it out. He didn’t realize how much he actually had in common with the scientist. Jared was actually a pretty casual guy for someone of his intelligence.

He listened contently as Jared went through the entire story of how when he was a freshman in high school his brother gave him this speech about how to get girls and how they loved nerds because nerds rule in high school. So he joined the science club because he thought it would make him cool because all the smart kids were cool. Jensen laughed. Jared gave him a sideways glance and then admitted that the only good thing he got out of Science Club was that it started him on his path to loving science, although he never got the girls, or boys in his case, he did find a love for science he never knew he had.

Jensen finishes his sandwich and starts on his pie of the day, raspberry peach. Jared looks over at it. “That pie looks delicious.” He says licking his lips at the thought of the sweet peaches mixed with the tart raspberries. Jensen dips his fork into the pie and holds the fork out to Jared’s mouth. “Here, have a taste.” He says watching as Jared bites his lower lip, analyzing the situation before opening up and taking the bite off the fork. His eyes light up and he smiles pleasurably. “MMMMM this is delicious.” He says his mouth full of pie.  
Jensen laughs heartily and takes a bite of the pie. “Yeah, pretty good.” His eyebrows arched up, a smile on his face and he thinks about how he’s swapping spit with Jared via the fork prongs.

They walk back to the science building and sit on the bench outside talking about the weather and how they can’t wait for spring because they’re tired of rain but all this is just small talk circling around what they really want to be talking about and that’s when they will see each other again.

Jared slides his glove off his hand and places it next to Jensen’s thigh on the bench. His long fingers itching to feel the soft fabric of Jensen’s khaki slacks, he inches over a little bit more until the tips of his fingers are resting just on the edge of the thick seam running down his leg and he grazes his fingertips barely over the rough bump. His pulse races and he can feel heat growing in his belly as he looks up from his fingers to see Jensen watching all of his intricate movements with a huge smile on his face.

He retracts, pulling his fingers back, his face flush with embarrassing heat. He swallows hard and his voice is shaky. “I guess, I should, well I, better get back to work.” He says pulling his glove back on.

Jensen takes Jared’s wrist and slips the glove off of his hand staring at his long pink fingers. “I like your hands.” He says running the pads of his fingers over each thin length before placing it on his thigh and cupping over it with his own hand. “There, that’s better.” He says feeling the heat from Jared’s hand radiate through his slacks to the flesh underneath that’s tingling with need.

Jared gives a shy and surprised smile. “Jen. Jensen.” He says stammering his breathing hard and ragged. “I. I.”

Jensen smiles at the nervous sound in Jared’s voice. “What Jared?” He squeezes Jared’s hand tighter pressing it harder into his thigh.

“I.” Jared swallows hard and takes a deep calming breath. “Want to see you again.” He says the relief wiping away his pained expression.

Jensen smiles and leans in close to Jared’s ear. “Can you keep a secret Jared?” He whispers hot and breathy into Jared’s ear.

Jared takes a deep breath, his pulse racing at the feeling of the moist hot breath blowing over his neck. “Yes.” His eyes go closed in anticipation of the next puff of hot breath against his tingling skin.  
Jensen leans in even closer to Jared’s ear, feeling his own heat as he whispers even lower and breathier into his ear. “I want to see you again too.” He pulls back, a huge grin on his face, lower lip pulled up between his teeth and hsi eyes are the brightest green Jared’s ever seen.

Jared’s giggle is a quiet and low sound as excitement floods him. “Great, then lunch again tomorrow.” He says the excitement now ringing through his body.

“How about I bring some coffee and donuts to your lab tomorrow morning and we’ll talk more about it then.” Jensen squeezes his hand tighter.

“Coffee in the morning?” Jared’s eyes meet Jensen’s and he smiles uncontrollably back at him. “I’ll be in by six am and waiting for you, and well, the coffee.”

Jared’s face is all pink from the cold, his mouth drawn up into that huge smile making his dimples look inviting and Jensen has to fight back the urge to kiss him softly on the mouth.

“Six am it is then.” Jensen looks at his watch as if he is synchronizing it. “It’s a date.”

 

 

Jensen opens his eyes, the light streaming in through his bedroom window. He stretches and takes a deep breath as he smiles at the thought of seeing Jared this morning. He sits up on the edge of the bed and looks at his alarm clock, it reads 7:30. Jensen rubs his eyes and panics.

“Holy Crap!” He exclaims, his mind rushes to worry as he thinks about Jared waiting for him at the lab and he never shows up with the coffee. His heart races as his mind snaps into that place where all he has to do is think about where he wants to be, his ears hum and the electricity builds until it vibrates his entire body and all he has to think about is 5:00am today and he closes his eyes.

Jared pulls into the empty parking lot of the University and parks his car in the science department lot. He strolls casually up the stone steps to the Science building, whistling a happy tune, a bounce in his step as he twirls the round key ring around his index finger. He unlocks the big double doors leaving them open for Jensen and starts up the stairwell to the 2nd floor taking two steps at a time his long legs moving with ease to the top. He swings the glass double doors open and struts down the hall doing his best Danny impersonation from Saturday Night Fever as he stops to fix his hair with the reflection in the glass of the Science office before turning the corner to his Lab.

Jensen’s leaning against the Lab doors a cardboard cup holder with two large cups of coffee in one hand and a bag of fresh made Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the other. He hears keys jangling and he stands straight with an expectant look on his face as Jared turns the corner his hips pushed out as he struts to an imaginary beat with his face scrunched up into a model’s pursed mouth. He laughs at the sight and yet finds it oddly sexy at the same time.

Jared sees Jensen as he turns the corner and quickly composes himself. “Um, Jensen. I didn’t think you would be here yet.” He says his palms sweating in embarrassment.

“Yeah well, I thought, get here early and meet you when you got in. Hope that’s alright.” Jensen lifts the coffee and doughnuts in the air. “Breakfast is served.”

Jared opens the lab doors. “How did you get into the building?” he asks inquisitively.  
Jensen sets the coffee and doughnuts on the lab counter and pulls a set of keys from his pocket. “You forget, I do the research for the Sociology department, we have a master key to all the research buildings on campus.” He dangles them at Jared smiling. “Great set of keys for a stalker to have, huh?” He laughs.

Jared sips the last of his coffee before popping the final bite of his doughnut into his mouth making a satisfied sound. “MMM hits the spot early in the morning.” He wipes his mouth with the paper napkin and tosses it in the wastebasket. He runs his fingers through his hair and leans his head back sighing. “I don’t want to work today.” He says spreading his arms wide and pointing to the chalkboards. “I can’t deal with all of this today.” His face changes into a frown of disappointment and weariness.

“Then don’t.” Jensen says twirling his coffee cup to mix the last dregs of creamer and coffee for the final swallow.  
Jared laughs. “Jensen apparently you don’t understand my job. You don’t do the work, you don’t get funded. I have to finish at least one theory with believable substantial proof, then present it to the board of the University, be asked to a symposium to give a speech on my findings, have it printed in a journal or author a book about it and pray that I get funding for the next several years. Otherwise I have to hit the fundraising trail and get private sponsors through the Science or Professional Alumni seeking to put a name on a building for the glory and fame of it. Now tell me I don’t have to work today.” He drops his head on the hard black Formica tabletop and groans.

He wishes he could lend Jared his powers for one day or slip him back to today after he spent the day with him doing whatever he wanted to do other than work, but he knew he couldn’t do that, all he can do is offer him words of support and comfort.  
“Look, we’ll have lunch again this afternoon but not at the cafeteria we’ll go out for lunch. Take a long lunch at a restaurant eat slowly and just enjoy an afternoon away from the office.”  
“Well, I guess if I get something done this morning then I would have the time to basically take the afternoon off.” Jared smiles a big joyful smile. “Let’s do it. When you’re ready come get me and we’ll play hooky.”

He reaches over and touches Jared’s shoulder his fingers gripping slightly like he never wants to let go of him. Like he wants to hold on to him forever, lean over the table and kiss his soft thin lips crazy with desire. He wants so many things from Jared, this smart, funny, studious man he met only two days ago on a fluke in the cafeteria. He wants forever from him, the promise of love and desire, romance and sex, everything that comes with a happily ever after. Most of all, he just wants Jared completely.

Jared feels the tight grip of Jensen’s hand and wants Jensen to pull him over the table and kiss him, take his mouth for his own, and show him how to kiss a man properly. He wants him so much his heart pounds a beat in his ears and his breath catches in his throat when he thinks about the wet hot slide of Jensen’s lips over his, the heat of their breath being exchanged as he devours him with tiny wet sloppy lip movements, and he wants to give himself over to Jensen body and soul at this very moment but instead he just smiles and pats Jensen on his shoulder in return.

Sitting at the long research table in his office Jensen feels useless, his mind won’t concentrate on the papers sitting in front of him that need researched, his eyes won’t cooperate when he’s trying to read the text books on the research list, and he can’t seem to sit still in his seat as he keeps checking his watch every five minutes. His mind wanders to Jared, his eyes are glassy, and his red pen is gripped between his teeth. The clock on the wall stopped three days ago on one o’clock so he checks his watch again, 9:30am. He sighs deeply and throws his head back leaning it over the back of the chair; he lets the pen roll out of his mouth and down his body to the floor as he rubs his forehead as if he’s distressed. He slides his hand behind his head and holds it up looking around the room before shoving the research books and papers to the center of the table then replacing them with his head, laying it down on the hard cherry table making a loud noise of exasperation. He’s bored and anxious at the same time so he decides to ponder his shoes by listing every name he can think of for his sneakers, “sneakers, jogging shoes, runners, trainers, Joe labs, sportswear.” he says quietly as he tries to think of anything but Jared and the fact that he has three more hours until he can get away. He leans down to pick up his pen when he sees a pair of nice black dress shoes next to his chair and looks up.

“Having trouble keeping your concentration?” Jared says as he smiles down at Jensen.

His eyes light up and Jensen grins with embarrassment as his cheeks flush. “What? Oh, yeah well, it is three more hours until we can get out of here; a guy’s got to keep his mind occupied on something. How long have you been standing there?”

“Oh, I guess just before jogging shoes. I was standing in the doorway watching you ponder your footwear.” Jared laughs quietly as he steps around the table and sits down in an empty chair across from Jensen.

Jensen pulls his chair close to the table and reaches over to push the research books down from between them when Jared reaches across to touch Jensen’s hands running his finger across the back of Jensen’s knuckles. Jensen’s cheeks go bright red and he stops moving his hands letting Jared’s touch linger as the heat of the pads of his fingertips feels both soothing and exciting at the same time.

Jared’s hazel eyes fix on Jensen’s green eyes, his gaze almost smoldering with need. “I’m hungry for a burger, how about you?” He says twitching the pads of his fingertips over the soft webs between Jensen’s fingers coaxing a soft sigh from him.

Jensen looks at his watch again. 9:40am. “I think I could go for a burger right about now.” His mouth curls up into a smile. “Have any ideas where we could get one at this hour?”

“There is this great family place that serves their complete menu 24 hours a day, you can get a steak at 7am or pancakes and eggs at 6pm.”

“Sounds like you go there a lot.” Jensen says lifting his eyebrows in question.

“I hate to cook and I work late a lot of nights.” Jared says slipping his fingers between Jensen’s and wiggling between them easily.

Jensen likes how Jared’s fingers feel moving softly between his and he can feel his cock paying attention to the soft casual movements. Jensen bites at his lower lip and his breath catches in his chest as he tries to speak quietly. “Then I should try it, are you ready to go?” He asks pushing his chair back from the table but refusing to let his fingers slip from Jared’s.

Jared pulls his hand away his heat lingering over Jensen’s knuckles. “Your car or mine?” He says heading for the door.

 

They talk as their orders are being filled.  
Jensen pulls the tip of his straw paper off and blows through the straw sending the paper crashing into Jared’s chest. Jared smiles as he’s looking around on his lap for the white paper. “My brother Jeff would always do that to me when we would go out to eat because I always had a book with me. He said reading at the table was not participating in a family function and then would follow it with either Geek or Nerd boy.” He finds the paper and balls it between his thumb and index finger before dropping it on the table.

“I’m sorry, I just thought it would be funny, lighthearted you know make things more, I don’t know, flirty.” Jensen says his smile dropping to a serious line.

”Oh it’s fine, I outgrew nerd boy 15 years ago and besides Jeff is now a big Surgeon in Dallas, he turned out to be a bigger nerd boy than I am or I, mean, was.” Jared pulled the tip off of his straw paper and retuned the paper missal into Jensen’s nose. Jensen gives a hearty laugh and Jared’s heart skips a beat at the sound of it.

A waitress appears next to the table and begins unloading her full tray. “Okay let’s see here, one Cheeseburger with mustard, lettuce and tomato a side of fries and applesauce.” Jared raised his finger. “Here.” He says.  
“And for you.” She says putting the plate down in front of Jensen. “A hamburger with everything but no bacon, fries and a small dinner salad with lite Ranch.” Jensen smiles at her. “Thanks.”

“Enjoy boys; I’ll be back later to check on you.” And with that the waitress walks away.

Jensen looks at the massive size of the hamburgers on their plates. “This thing is bigger than my head, I don’t know if my mouth will go around it.” His eyes are huge as he watches Jared lift his burger to his mouth and bite into it. “It’s easy just open wide and bite down hard.” He smiles his mouth full of meat and bun as he speaks. Jensen picks his up squeezing it down as small as he can and opens wide, his teeth barely hitting the top of the bun so he shifts it around but he can’t get around it. He puts it back down on his plate and picks up a fry.

Jared laughs, reaches over, takes Jensen’s knife and cuts the sandwich in half. “Here try it like this, not everyone has a mouth as big as mine.” He winks at Jensen.

_Oh great Jared, thanks for the image._ Jensen thinks because now he is fixated on the size of Jared’s mouth and all he can think is how warm and wet it is inside there, how it would feel wrapped around his dick, how those thin lips would hold it so tightly as he bobbed up and down on it and he can hardly keep a calm demeanor during their brunch.

They finish their brunch and Jared spies pies in the case behind the counter. “Want some pie?” He points to the case drawing Jensen’s attention to them. “Sure why not?” Jensen says patting his belly. “There is always room for pie.” He laughs.

They signal the waitress and she comes over. “Can I get you anything else?”  
“Yeah, what kind of pies do you have today?” Jensen says smiling.  
“We have blueberry, apple and peach melba.”  
“Peach Melba?” Jensen asks intrigued.  
“Yeah it’s peach with raspberries.” She says. “Really good if you want to try it, so worth it.”  
Jared smiles at Jensen before blurting out. “One slice of peach melba.”  
She looks at Jensen. “And for you?”  
Jared blurts out again. “No, one slice, we’re sharing a piece, and put some vanilla ice cream on the side please.” He looks at Jensen and winks.

“So one coffee date, a lunch and now you’re ordering my food for me?” Jensen starts to laugh.

“Oh no, remember, yesterday in the cafeteria you had peach raspberry pie and we shared it. It’s like our pie now or something.” Jared says a big grin on his face.

“So we have pie now?” Jensen says a huge smile on his face. “We haven’t even kissed and we have pie.” He snickers.  
“Do you have to kiss before you have a dessert?” Jared has a concerned look on his face. “I really don’t know these things; I’ve never had anyone to have these things with.” His eyes falling to ponder the table in embarrassment as he picks at his paper napkin.

“We have a dessert.” Jensen reaches across and touches Jared’s hand. “It’s Peach Melba Pie.” He says rubbing his thumb over the back of Jared’s hand reassuringly. “So you never had a girlfriend or boyfriend before?” Jensen asks.

Jared looks up into Jensen’s green hopeful eyes. “No, never, unless you count Betsy Westover in the fifth grade, she kissed me by the monkey bars but I didn’t like it; she had buck teeth and her breath always smelled like milk.”  
Jensen starts to laugh. “Milk huh. I’ll keep that in mind.” His grin is wide, his eyebrows high in an amused amazement.

“How about you, have you ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend?” Jared says his voice quivering a little bit.

“Well yeah, I’ve had a few boyfriends but no girlfriend, that’s not really my thing, you see, I’m sorta… gay. But yeah, two or three boyfriends.” Jensen tries to play his experience off.

“I’ve never had anyone. It’s always been me, school or work, and science. Girls really don’t dig the nerds and well I prefer men too but in my field not too many sociable males looking for dates.” Jared blushes very sure Jensen now realizes that he’s a virgin.

“Well, you’ve found me, and I’m thinking this is our third date. You’re actually very good at it, better than my last few dates anyway.” He smiles as the pie and two forks are set on the table between them.

Jensen looks at his watch. “It’s twelve O’clock and we just finished lunch.” He laughs tapping the crystal face of his watch.  
Jared smiles at him. “What should we do now?”

“I’m guessing that going back to work is out.” Jensen says picking up the bill.

Jared walks up to the counter and grabs two chocolate mints from a jar next to the cash register and lays fifty cents down before he goes over to stand at the door, he’s looking across the street at the reflecting pool in the park. “I often go over to the park after dinner and read or listen to my iPod while I think about things, usually work related stuff and stare into the reflecting pool when the weather is nice enough.”

“You wanna go over today?” Jensen says putting the tip on the table before walking up behind Jared and touching his shoulder. Jared hands Jensen a mint before unwrapping his and popping it in his mouth. He smiles as he watches Jensen’s reflection in the glass. “That does sound very nice.” He says pushing the door open.

They walk halfway around the oval reflecting pool watching as the ducks waddle along the edge of the water, very few words exchanged between them. They sit down on one of the few empty benches along the water’s edge and stare at the still water. Jared’s hands are tucked into his coat pockets for warmth and Jensen taps his fingers restlessly on the wrought iron arm of the bench. The silence isn’t awkward but it’s like a wall between them and Jensen hates walls so he looks over at Jared. “So what do you listen to on your iPod while you ponder the universe in the reflecting pool?”  
“Oh I have a very eclectic play list, usually its set on random but I love the All American Rejects the hidden track Sunshine is probably my most listened too song.”

“Oh the Rejects are cool; their song Last Song is probably my favorite. The line at the beginning _This may be the last thing that I write for long Can you hear me smiling when I sing this song? For you and only you._ really tugs at my heart. I think about that line every time I hear it, what was he thinking, who was he writing that for.

Jared smiles and adds. “Yeah and that line near the end. _Will you need me now  
You'll find a way somehow You wanted to I want it too_ always make me want to cry like he’s leaving forever, ya know.”

Jensen wants to lean over and kiss Jared; he watches his thin mouth in a partial smile and finds it so desirable. He loves the way his bangs lay over his forehead just enough and not in his eyes. Jensen’s heart flutters with the thought of what Jared’s mouth would feel like under his, how his big hands would feel rubbing down over his body and heat begins to pool in his belly.

Jared is lost in thought as the cool winter air chills his cheeks. He wonders if Jensen wants to kiss him as much as he wants to kiss Jensen. His hands want to find the warmth under Jensen’s coat and tuck themselves under his shirt to feel his hot flesh. His lips ache to be touched but all he can do is sit here and stare at the black water.

Jensen shifts closer to Jared, his hip bumping into Jared’s on purpose. Electricity shoots up Jared’s spine and he swallows hard. Jensen pushes his shoulder into Jared’s frame and slips his hand along the length of Jared’s thigh to his knee where he rests his hand squeezing slightly.

Jared lets Jensen settle against him feeling his heat, desiring it as he has never desired anything else in his entire life. He swallows hard and turns his head to look at Jensen who is staring very intently at him. “Uh, Jensen, do you.” His words cut off as Jensen pushes his lips softly against Jared’s moving mouth stealing the unspoken words with the warmth of his kiss. He leans in his lips mimicking Jensen’s, parted slightly inviting Jensen’s tongue to slip over his. His eyes are squeezed tight, his hands fumbling and unsure of what to do and Jensen takes Jared’s hands and places them on his hips before returning his hands to Jared’s shoulders and pulling him in for a deeper kiss.

Jared feels drunk, his heart is racing, he can’t breathe and Jensen’s heat is like a drug to him. He wants to push Jensen backwards on the bench and hold him down while he kisses him. Pin him down and claim him in front of the whole world. He doesn’t know where this is coming from but it feels right and he only feels it for Jensen.

Jensen leans hard into Jared’s body holding him tight to the back of the bench, his hands moving up to Jared’s head and snaking through his soft hair. His skin is hot and his cock is taking notice as Jared slips his tongue over Jensen’s lips and Jensen doesn’t know how much longer he can go without coming from just feeling Jared pressed against him.

Jared is heady with heat and desire, he wants Jensen and this is particularly apparent through his trousers. The hard push of his cock against the seam in his boxers is both uncomfortable and welcome. His heart is thrumming a hard base note in his ears and if he isn’t flushed red with heat he would be surprised. His mouth moves sloppily and unskilled over Jensen’s soft passionate lips, his tongue not sure how to find and glide over the pink curves he imagines in his mind but he stumbles through and Jensen isn’t moving away in protest.

Jensen pulls off gasping for much needed breath, he puts his forehead against Jared’s and stares into his eyes. “You’re amazing, do you know that.” He says running his thumbs down the sides of Jared’s cheekbones.

Jared closes his eyes with embarrassment. “Nah, I’m too inexperienced to be any kind of amazing.” He says opening his eyes again and meeting Jensen’s green gaze.

“Jared, you’re experienced enough for me and I want to be there with you while you get that experience.” Jensen kisses the corner of Jared’s mouth.

“You know I told you I was a virgin.” His words dropping to a whisper as his eyes look down and he swallows hard before finishing his sentence. “I’ve never even been kissed, well, properly that is.”

“I just kissed you right and proper and believe me you didn’t do anything wrong when you kissed me back.” Jensen’s hands run down over the soft suede chest of Jared’s jacket.

Jared moves his hands above Jensen’s hips moving under the tight waistband of his coat to touch the soft cotton shirt underneath. His fingers fumbling over the smooth wrinkles and seam as he pushes the coat up to get a better feel of the sculpted frame beneath. The heat of Jensen’s body rushes over Jared’s cold hands and he palms Jensen’s flanks feeling the hard muscles and rib bones rippling beneath the pads of his fingers. His heart races as he feels Jensen take a deep breath as his fingers glide upward, the coat getting caught in the bent curves of his arms as he shoves farther up Jensen’s body.

Jensen pushes hard against Jared’s hands the cool press of his chilled flesh making his skin quiver. His erection harder than before and slightly uncomfortable as it presses against the zipper of his slacks. He looks deep into Jared’s eyes as his hands fondle his body and he can’t help but want to take him right now, right here in the cold damp air of this very public park where God and passersby could watch them as they devoured each other with heated passion. His breath is thick in the air as he puffs out a satisfied sigh and closes his eyes to feel Jared’s hands moving ever upward over his body and he knows they need to get out of here, go somewhere more private.

Jared can’t think past the desire to be naked with Jensen, his mind numb as he stares hard into the green pools of Jensen’s eyes. His fingers rubbing lightly over the hard nubs jutting out from under soft material and he presses his mouth to Jensen’s with a heated fury, his lips hungry for the touch and taste of Jensen as he moans and strains against the harsh movements of their lips pressed tight together.

Jensen leans back letting Jared take his mouth, letting him have his feverish kiss, their lips smashed hard, noses bumping, hands groping as Jared gets his first taste of being in control of it all and Jensen likes it, he likes the unskilled fumbling of it all. He puts his hands on Jared’s shoulders and pushes him back a little breaking their kiss.  
“Let’s go somewhere a little more private.” He says with a seductive smile across his wet bruised red lips.

Jared sits up straight, pulls his hands from under Jensen’s coat and becomes very aware of his surroundings. His cheeks go from flushed pink with need and heat to bright red with embarrassment. He clears his throat and composes himself. “Private would be a much better idea.”

They climb into Jensen’s truck and Jensen touches Jared’s knee smiling as he looks deep into his hazel eyes. “Where to?” he asks expectantly.

Jared’s brain goes to his apartment littered with books, academia related papers, dirty dishes in the sink, clothes everywhere on the bedroom and bathroom floor, and two dogs who have had run of the apartment all morning and panics. “I guess, your place?” he makes the statement with question in his voice.

“My place it is then.” Jensen cranks the engine.

 

When Jensen opens the door to his small house Jared stands on the welcome mat looking inside as if waiting to be invited in, he’s too scared to step over the threshold without invitation.

“So, what are you waiting for?” Jensen says looking back from inside the entranceway.

He steps inside, his head telling him this is it; you’re inside of Jensen’s house. There is no turning back now, you have to go through with it, and with everything your body promised Jensen on that park bench. His heart races, his palms start to sweat. It was so much easier in the heat of passion back on that park bench. Things were much simpler when he was numb with blind desire. Now standing in the entranceway of Jensen’s neat, well decorated and all too private home things were crashing down around Jared and he didn’t even know if he could go through with it.

Jensen shrugs off his coat and hangs it on a hook just inside the door, his white cotton shirt clinging to his body as Jared stares at it, his eyes fixed on the small stripe of sweat down his back. He rubs his hands on his slacks, the sweat making damp stripes against the dark fabric.

Jensen looks back at Jared and smiles. “Take off your coat, you’re staying aren’t you.” He jokes as he turns the corner to the kitchen.

He takes off his coat and hangs it on the hook next to Jensen’s. He looks around like a scared rabbit with the fight or flight instinct kicking in.

Jensen emerges from the kitchen with two beers in his hands. “Here have a beer.” He says shoving one in Jared’s direction. “I’m a little thirsty.” He licks his lips seductively before putting the bottle to his mouth and taking a long swallow.

Jared grabs the beer and takes a drink. “Thanks, my mouth is a little dry.” He takes another long drink swallowing hard several times downing half the beer quickly.

Jensen watches Jared’s throat as it swallows hard on the cold liquid, Jared’s Adam’s apple bounces seductively making Jensen want to lean forward and kiss it but he laughs instead. “Slow down tiger, I only have a six pack, save some for later.”

“Sorry, I’m nervous.” Jared says wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.  
“I can see that.” Jensen says taking Jared’s arm and leading him to the living room.  
“Let’s just sit on the sofa, drink our beers and maybe watch some television or a movie. There is no rush here Jared. We have lots of time for other things.”

Jared sighs and relaxes his shoulders as he sits down on the sofa. Jensen settles in close to him, their bodies touching from the hip down the thigh length to their knees. Jared is comfortable with the warmth of Jensen on him and pushes in just a little tighter as Jensen leans back on the sofa.

Jensen loves how Jared feels against him. Long and hot, his body fitting nicely into the curves of Jensen’s. He flips on the television and starts to channel surf over his favorite channels.

Shows and movies flick by never lingering more than a minute or two when Jared makes a sudden sound.

“Oh, here, keep it here, I love this show.” He just about screams grabbing Jensen’s arm and leaning forward on the sofa. “This show is so awesome. I love these guys.” His eyes are wide and a smile is plastered across his face like that of a two year old watching Sesame Street.

“So you like Mythbusters?” He says tugging on Jared’s shoulder to bring him back down beside him on the sofa. Jensen laughs as he lays the remote down.

“Don’t you?” Jared asks looking at Jensen in disbelief.

“Oh, I like them just fine. They smash stuff, shoot things, and generally have a good time wrecking things to prove their point. That’s some good television right there.” Jensen can’t help but smile at Jared’s enthusiasm about the show.

“If I could work with them, I mean if I could just visit the set one day.” His eyes get a dreamy faraway look. “I think I would be in heaven.”

“So you’re a Mythbusters’ fanboy?” Jensen puts his arm over the back of the sofa around Jared’s shoulders and tugs him in tight.

“What’s a fanboy?” Jared asks brow knit in confusion.

“Someone, in this case you, a guy that is a super fan of a television show or movie. You know wants to meet the actors and stuff.”

“Oh, I guess then, yes I am a fanboy.” Jared smiles leaning into Jensen more relaxed now.

“See that’s cool, own it. Jared Padalecki, fanboy for Mythbusters. No squeeing though, I don’t go for the squeeing.” Jensen laughs.

“Yeah, for the kids.” Jared finds his phone and flips through the index, finds the number, and hits call.

Jensen sits up confused; he worries his lip between his teeth as his heart sinks deep into the pit of his stomach. He gets up, goes to the kitchen to get himself another beer, he pops it open and drinks half of it down in one long gulp. He can hear Jared on the phone telling the sitter what needs done and he can’t help it but he feels betrayed.

“Yeah Genny, you’re going to need to feed the kids tonight after their walk because I’m going to be home late. Yeah, there’s more food in the cabinet. Give them both a big kiss for me and tell them I’ll see them when I get home tonight.” Jared hangs up the phone and walks into the kitchen slipping his arm around Jensen’s waist.

“So that’s taken care of.” He leans in for a kiss but Jensen turns his head away.

“I think I’ll take you back to your car.” He says pulling away from Jared’s embrace.

Jared is stunned, his lower lip drops down into a frown as he pulls his hand back with the sting of rejection letting it fall to his side as worries it against thigh.  
“What’s wrong, did I do something?” he swallows hard the noise audible to Jensen.

“You told me you were a virgin and now you have kids. Where did these kids come from and who is Genny, their mother or a babysitter, or what?” Jensen sets his beer on the table and walks to the doorway.

Jared chuckles with relief and touches Jensen’s back. “My kids are my dogs, Harley and Sadie. Genny is their dog walker and sitter. When I’m working late she takes care of them or when I have to go out of town she is their caretaker.”

Jensen turns and looks into Jared’s eyes. “You have dogs?” He reaches out and touches Jared’s face.

“Yep two of them, they’re my babies. I would never lie to you Jensen. I’m not like that, what you see is what you get. I’m just a nerdy, book smart, science oriented, control freak, with moppy hair and too many moles.” He pulls on Jensen’s arm tugging him closer into his body.  
“I’m glad you have dogs.” Jensen says embarrassed while leaning in and kissing Jared’s mouth tenderly.

Jared kisses him back his mouth more in control this time, no hard movements or hands fumbling, instead he holds Jensen tight by the shoulders his mouth matching every tender hungry movement with precision and ease. Jared likes the feel of Jensen pressed against him, their bodies tight as they gently gyrate their hips together. Jared is hard, his erection grinding into Jensen’s hip as they ebb and flow into each other.

Jensen pushes Jared against the counter as he shoves his leg up and between his thighs. He reaches down with his hand and cups the bulge pushing through his slacks and groans.  
“MMM, you’re so hard Jared. I bet you taste good.” He says slow and dirty as he licks Jared’s neck down to the hollow below his adam’s apple and sucks the soft flesh between his lips kneading gently.

Jared throws his head back making quiet guttural sounds as he tries to respond. “Uh, yeah, you, so good, MMMM.”

Jensen squeezes Jared’s hard on as he nips his way back up to Jared’s mouth taking it, claiming it, owning it. “You’re mine Jared and I’m going to show you just how much you’re going to like being mine.” His breath blowing hot against Jared’s mouth as Jared gasps loudly as he feels Jensen’s hand squeeze tighter around his bulging cock.

His hand grapples for support from the counter as he feels Jensen climb up his body their mouths pressed softly together, their tongues tangled in a heated battle for control. Jared feels hot, his belly tingling as his erection strains against Jensen’s palm and he thinks this could be the best feeling ever. He lurches forward pushing Jensen back and then catching him in his arms holding him there bent backwards, head tilted back, neck exposed, mouth open, fingers clinging to Jared’s shoulders and it feels so right, so good, and so amazingly romantic.

Jensen’s mouth gives way to Jared’s control as his head tilts back, his exposed neck begging to be kissed and Jared obliges his whimper. He kisses Jensen’s neck along the thick leader trailing his tongue down to his shirt collar and dipping a little just below tasting the soft flesh beneath. His shirt still smells like spice and citrus from his cologne, it’s a heady scent that Jared loves. He holds Jensen pressed tightly to him a moment longer before looking deeply in his eyes and standing upright, “I think we need the bedroom.” He says breathlessly.

“You think?” He says smirking. “I was thinking counter sex.” His eyes glazing over as he takes Jared’s hand and leads him out of the kitchen.

“I think bed sex would be best my first time, counter sex for the second round.” He smiles following Jensen up the stairs.

Jensen runs his fingers over Jared’s chest staring into his eyes, his lower lip pulled playfully between his teeth he lets it slip out slowly running his tongue over the swollen red worried flesh. Jared exhales hard and runs his fingers through his hair pushing it off of his forehead.

He plays with the buttons on Jared’s shirt, slowly unbuttoning each one, seducing Jared with the slow teasing pace. He pushes his hips into Jared’s thigh, his erection pressing hard against the tight muscle rubbing his hip over Jared’s heavy erection, dragging his hip hard over the thickest part of the bulge and watching as Jared tenses his eyes rolling back, his mouth gaping open to suck breath in hard. Jensen is more aroused now than he had been, never has he wanted anyone as much as he wants Jared at this moment and all he cares about is how much he pleases Jared here and now.  
Jared’s hands move slowly up and down Jensen’s back, his palms pushing smooth against the hot wet fabric of his shirt and he wants to rip it off, feel the flesh underneath, slick with sweat and smooth. He wants to taste Jensen, lick every inch of his body, making wet tracks over his heated pink flesh and playing connect the dots with his gorgeous freckles.

Jensen tugs Jared’s shirt off his shoulders down his arms and over his hands exposing the hard rippled torso muscles. Jensen licks a wet stripe down the center of the white cotton mesh covering Jared, tugging at the hem pulling it out from beneath his waistband and slipping it over his chest, over his head and off his arms dropping the damp cloth on the floor at their feet. He looks at Jared’s form, tracing all the thick deep lines of his chest and abdomen reveling in his long lean beauty. His hands find his narrow hips and shove at his slacks until they are pushed just over them revealing the thick straight line of pubic hair just below his boxers. He undoes the belt buckle, unbuttons and unzips the fly and yanks them down hard letting them lay around his ankles.

Jared’s boxers are tight, wet, and stretched out in the shape of his cock jutting sideways up towards the waistband needy and succulent looking. Jensen can’t help but fall to his knees and lick the member through the stretched cotton spandex making Jared’s knees quake as Jensen takes hold of his ass and pulls him tight to his face giving him some support to lean against. He sucks and hums against Jared’s hard flesh and Jared can’t help himself, he reaches down grabbing Jensen’s head pushing it tight to his crotch. Jensen bites and nips softly kneading at the hard flesh underneath the cotton covering.

His head is thrown back, his fingers curled tight through Jensen’s short hair as he moans, his voice hoarse and ragged. He pulls Jensen’s face away from his cock and looks down into his emerald green eyes. “I want you now Jen.” His voice deep and commanding.

Jensen stands and pulls Jared’s boxers down releasing his hard member, letting it fall forward hitting him in the belly as he pulls up to kiss Jared’s mouth hungry with desire.

Jared grabs Jensen’s shirt at the collar and pulls it hard tearing the buttons apart hearing the plastic hit wood as they hit the floor. He tugs at Jensen’s t-shirt pulling it violently over his head, running his hands hard down over the sweat slicked flesh of his chest pulling him in tight flesh on flesh feeling the hardness of Jensen’s nipples brushing against his chest. Jared kicked his slacks and underwear off his feet stepping back towards the bed pulling Jensen with him.  
“I need you Jen.” He says in a husky voice much deeper than before. He quickly undoes Jensen’s belt and trousers pushing them down to the floor and slipping them off his feet before removing his socks. He looks up at Jensen from his crouched position, Jensen’s erection lurching forward begging to be tasted and Jared obliges, leaning in and taking it by the base licking gently at the head. He swirls his tongue softly around the pink fleshy head letting it dip over the slit tasting the thin clear pearl of precum that has gathered on it. It’s salty, a bit musky and bitter but Jared likes it, revels in its warmth on the tip of his tongue before letting the head slip past his lips and over his wide flat tongue. He pushes it back as far as he can take it before sliding it out feeling every inch drag across his tongue scraping the rough roof of his mouth, enjoying the taste and feel of the warm sex invading his mouth. He didn’t think he could be more turned on than when Jensen licked at his cock through his shorts but this beats it. Jensen’s cock in his mouth sends his arousal through the roof and he reaches down to touch his own cock while he sucks Jensen off, looking up through his heavy bangs into Jensen’s eyes staring down at him in a desire driven heated daze.

He clutches Jared’s head snaking his fingers through his thick soft hair feeling the heat of his mouth descend on his cock, the head pushing against the ridges of the roof of Jared’s mouth dragging hard against his tongue the hot saliva easing the pull of his teeth and lips as he’s drug out again his head barely slipping past Jared’s lips. Jared sucks him slow and meaningfully, his hot mouth pushing Jensen to the point of coming before he stops Jared.  
“I want to kiss you.” Jensen says pulling Jared to his feet.  
Jared whimpers at the loss of Jensen’s hot member, his hand still wrapped tight around his own cock.  
“Want you too.” He says as Jensen claims his mouth tasting his own sweat on Jared’s lips.

Jensen leads him down onto the bed as he positions himself over him, knees parted over his narrow hips, his cock dragging against Jared’s as he rubs hard against him the heat and friction pulsing through them as Jensen bites and sucks at Jared’s neck. Jared arches his back up pushing his hips hard into Jensen’s his cock banging into Jensen’s thigh sliding up and stroking Jensen’s balls. The coarse hairs tickling Jared’s cock sending him into spasms of ecstasy.

He slides down Jared’s body licking and kissing his way to his cock, he takes it in hand and strokes softly, pulling at the head, rubbing his thumb over the crown, smearing the slick precum back and forth. He smiles at Jared, licks his lips and dives down onto his cock. He takes the head shoving it to the back of his throat, rolling his tongue over the hard member, stroking it as he swallows it past his tonsils flexing his throat around the head.

Jared arches up, his head back, the soft folds of Jensen’s mouth enveloping his cock, the feel of his tongue rolling beneath its stiff shaft as his throat squeezes the head, it’s too much and he can’t control himself. He clutches the comforter tightly, his fingers squeezing so hard he thinks they might break, his toes curled, he brings his knees up and grunts. “I..I’m… gonnna….. cum.”

Jensen feels the hot cum shoot down his throat with little warning. He pulls forward letting it coat the back of his tongue as he swallows quickly around the jerking head. He uses his hand to pump Jared’s thick shaft milking it dry.

Jared moves his hips in time with Jensen’s hand lifting off the bed slowly gyrating into Jensen’s fist and face as he feels the final spurts of come shoot off into Jensen’s hungry mouth.

Jensen releases the softening member, crawling up Jared’s body to share the salty bitter gift of his cum with him. He kisses his lips softly letting his tongue slip slightly into Jared’s panting mouth and Jared can taste the musky bitter cum still on Jensen’s tongue. He laps at it, his mouth panting and gasping for needed air as Jensen presses tight to his lips devouring his mouth with a heated passion, grinding his hips hard into Jared as if riding him.

Jared pushes his hand between them and grabs Jensen’s cock stroking it hard and fast, pulling it between them, his hand and their bodies stroking Jensen off. Their sweat slicking the shaft, the head pressed hard between their bellies, Jared’s thumb gently slipping over the slit with each pull of his hand. Jensen comes fast and hard. His spunk spurts between them slicking the flesh as they grind hard into each other, mouths gasping, tongues lapping, slipping, and licking over each other.

Jensen pushes up, his fingers digging hard into Jared’s shoulders as he braces himself against Jared, the final spurts of his cum shoot out between them before he collapses on top of Jared panting hard into his neck.

Jared holds him tight kissing his shoulder and licking up his neck and earlobe. “I love you Jensen.” He whispers softly into his flesh.

Jensen smiles against Jared’s neck. He knows this is the strongest bond he has ever felt with anyone and he exhales hard. “You’re my Jared.” He whispers. 

[Chapter 3](http://j2-ficwhore.livejournal.com/5410.html#cutid1)


	3. part 3 A timeless connection J2 bigbang

[ ](http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a348/Dolavine/?action=view&current=starsspacedivider4.png)

Jared wakes up, Jensen’s sprawled out on top of him the room is dark and he has no idea what time it is. He shakes Jensen. “Jensen, wake up.” He whispers in his ear.

 

Jensen grumbles and rubs his face against Jared’s chest. “What?” He says sleepily.

“I think it’s late.” Jared says concern in his voice.

“What’s the hurry?” Jensen says pushing himself up to look around. “Wow its dark out.” He laughs before looking down into Jared face and leaning in for a kiss.

“You don’t understand Jensen I have dogs, they need things that I should have been there hours ago to do for them.”

Jensen leans over taking his watch off of the night stand and presses the illumination button revealing the time. “It's only 3:30 Jared, no worries.” He lays it back down and then picks it back up. “Jesus Jared it's 3:30 am.” He says startled.

He pushes Jensen off of him and jumps out of bed. “I have to get back to my place. I have dogs to take care of. I have to get ready for work. I have to get my car.” He rattles off in a panic.

“Calm down, it’s gonna all be ok Jared.” Jensen lays his hand on Jared’s shoulder. “One step at a time.” He leans up and kisses Jared’s forehead. “First I’ll take you home to take care of the dogs, then you can get ready for work and I’ll get ready for work while you’re caring for the dogs and then we’ll go to work together. Okay?”

Jared takes a deep breath. “Okay that sounds plausible.” He nods his head in agreement as he gets dressed.

Jensen pulls fresh clothes from the dresser and throws on his old ones from the floor before heading down to the kitchen. He pours the thickened dregs of coffee from the other morning into a mug, adds more water and pops it in the microwave. He pours Jared a glass of Orange Juice. Jared emerges hair tussled, his clothes disheveled and a sleepy look in his eyes.  
“God, could you be more gorgeous?” Jensen says handing him the OJ.  
“Yeah, right.” Jared rolls his eyes and scoffs as he downs his Orange Juice.

The microwave dings, he pulls his coffee out adds creamer and sugar before tasting it and scrunches up his face and shudders. “Ewwww, mud.” He says pouring it down the drain. “One stop before we get to your place, Starbucks.” He says pulling his keys off the counter and grabbing his pile of clothes while heading for the door.

 

As Jared puts his keys in the door, looks at Jensen and says “Stand back this has the potential to be disastrous.” Jensen takes a step back holding his coffee and clothes high in the air. “Why, are they vicious dogs?” Jensen says his eyes wide a frown across his mouth.

“No… just, overly friendly with anyone I bring home, so I don’t generally bring many people home.” Jared laughs as the key turns, the lock clicking and he slowly pushes the door open inch by inch. The door is cracked open just enough that a tan furry snout pushes its way through whimpering.  
Jared reaches in rubbing the dog’s nose his face lights up with a huge smile and his eyes are bright with joy. “Sadie baby, daddy’s home.” He coos through the door pushing it open even farther.

The dog jumps up both paws landing on each of Jared’s shoulders and Jensen stands still and steady not moving in the hall as he watches Jared rub behind the dogs ears. Just as he finishes loving all over the one he called Sadie another dog about the same color only larger comes storming from the back of the apartment and jumps hard on him knocking Jared backwards. Jensen goes completely still his eyes darting for an escape as he looks at the elevator doors closed and sealed tight.  
“Harley!” Jared commands pushing the dog off of him and putting his index finger to his snout. “Stay!” he says his voice hard and commanding.

Jared looks back at Jensen clutching his coffee, his clothes tucked under his arm staring at the elevator and steps into the hallway. “It’s okay Jensen.” He says putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder and kissing his cheek. “I made it sound worse than it is. Just come inside, let them smell you, pet them on the head and they will warm right up.” His grin is wide and innocent as he leads Jensen inside the doorway.

Jensen cautiously follows Jared inside waiting for the jolting pounce that never comes, instead Harley and Sadie sit side by side, mouths open, tongues out panting with friendly eyes as their tails wag excitedly back and forth across the hardwood floor.

“Now just let them smell your hand Jen.” Jared says holding out his own hand palm face up at the dogs.

Jensen hands Jared his coffee. “Like this?” he turns his hand palm up and slowly puts it under Sadie’s nose, she cautiously sniffs at him when Harley joins in smelling all over Jensen’s fingers and palm before licking a wet strip up the side to his wrist. Jensen laughs and pulls back wiping the spit on his slacks.

“Harley.” Jared says embarrassed.

“It’s okay Jared.” Jensen takes his coffee back and takes a long swallow his hand still rubbing hard on his thigh.

Jared pulls two leads off the wall beside the door and hooks them onto the dog’s collars.  
“If you want to shower while I take the dogs for their walk, its straight back that hall.” He points straight ahead Jensen following his finger’s general direction. “Clean towels are in the bottom drawer of the chest in the bathroom and you can use my body wash. It’s Axe.” He says wiggling his eyebrows, a mischievous grin across his lips. Jensen laughs at his facial expression finds it slightly seductive and leans in for a kiss as the dogs watch with interest.

Jensen pets the dogs on the head, Harley bumping into Jensen’s crotch as he leans over to pet Sadie. “Whoa there Harley.” He says backing up nervously.

“Harley, be good.” Jared commands. “I’m so sorry; he has an unhealthy obsession with crotches.” Jared’s cheeks flush with embarrassment. Jensen laughs as he protects his crotch from another attack. “Don’t we all.” His smile so wide his eyes crinkle at the corners. Jared smiles back as he leads the dogs out the door into the hallway. “I’ll be back in about twenty minutes or so.” He closes the door behind himself. Jensen hears the elevator ding, the scurry of dog paws and a mumble from Jared, he laughs at the domestic feel of it all.

He slowly walks back down the hall taking notice of the apartment. It’s bigger than he expected with a large living room full of furniture that looks like Jared’s had it since his first day of college. The dining room has a large dining table but it’s full of books, dog chew toys, a laptop, and in the center a bowl of plastic fruit. The kitchen nook is small, it’s off of the dining room just a countertop separating the two rooms and it’s basically sparse with just a refrigerator, oven and microwave. There are dirty dishes in the sink, empty beer bottles on the countertop next to the stove and a pot on the stovetop; he doesn’t want to look inside because he fears what he might find. There are three large dog dishes on the floor next to the dishwasher all empty waiting to be filled.

He walks farther back the hall. There are two bedrooms, one full of boxes being used for storage with two large dog beds on the floor that look they have never been used. The other bedroom has a large unmade bed, a dresser, a mirror on the wall and two nightstands only one lamp and books everywhere on the floor, the dresser, and the nightstands, everywhere. Jensen laughs and shakes his head.

The Bathroom is small but adequate with a tall dresser shoved in the corner, a sink with vanity mirror, of course toilet and a small shower. Jensen opens the door to the shower and turns it on as he undresses. He opens the bottom drawer of the chest and pulls out a very large bath towel. He thinks it’s big enough to be a bed sheet. He steps inside the shower ,hot water spraying right in his face. He reaches up for the showerhead groping to tilt the head down but he can’t find it. He steps forward against the shower wall and looks up, the head is about a foot higher than normal. He thinks about the towel, the showerhead, and Jared’s height and can’t help but chuckle at all of it. He reaches up, adjusts the head and finishes showering.

The door swings open and the dogs run inside. Jensen is sitting on the couch fully dressed, hair still wet from the shower. He looks back at Jared as he’s peeling his coat off before disappearing into the kitchen, the sound of hard pellets hitting plastic echoes through the room before he hears water rushing into a container. Jared’s voice is maternal and soothing as Jensen listens to him talk to the dogs. “There now, enjoy.” He says and Jensen can only guess he’s petting them on the head as he talks to them. Jensen smiles at how gentle and special Jared actually is and he can’t help but feel his heart skip a beat when he hears his footsteps coming closer.

Jared steps into the living room. “Smells like you used the Axe.” He laughs sliding down onto the couch next to Jensen. His fingers are cold as he gently runs them across Jensen’s neck, a sly smile crossing his lips, and Jensen can’t help but want to kiss him into a dizzying frenzy.

“Its 4:30, what time do you usually arrive at work?” Jensen says looking at his watch.

“I leave about 6:00 to be in by about 7:00am.” Jared scoots closer to him pushing his hip into Jensen’s.  
“So… we basically have almost two hours before we leave?” Jensen pushes his shoulder into Jared’s, their bodies sliding comfortably against each other. “I should have waited to shower.” He says leaning in to kiss Jared’s expectant mouth. The soft gentle glide of tender flesh hot and supple molding together, their breath soft, relaxed and so comfortable as Jared leans in, his hands grasping at Jensen’s shoulders pulling him tight as he pushes him backwards onto the seat cushions.  
“No one said you can’t take two showers.” Jared says around Jensen’s mouth.  
Jensen puffs out a laugh. “No, no they didn’t.”

****~~~**~~~****

** Several Months later….. **

Things are going smoothly, Jared spends a lot of his new found spare time with Jensen doing things he always wanted to do like going to the Zoo, seeing movies he has always wanted to see, eating at different restaurants and actually enjoying life outside of the University for a change. He loves having Jensen to expand his horizons and share his heart and bed with, this connection is deeper than he ever imagined love would feel like.

Jensen has learned how to care for and love Sadie and Harley; he even broke Harley of his obsessive crotch obsession. They spend their time between Jared’s apartment and Jensen’s house, which they really like because Jensen has a yard and Jared really loves it there too because it feels more like home than his apartment. Jensen loves having them to fuss over, cook for and love, his life feels richer for having his new found family.

Jensen’s never felt so happy, he feels more like his life is right here, right now, in this very moment than he has ever felt. He hasn’t even felt the need to time slip in months because nothing in his life needs fixing, nothing is out of place.

The sun seeps through the tightly closed curtains of Jensen’s bedroom his arms wrapped lovingly around Jared, the dogs on the floor at the foot of the bed and Jensen knows this is how he wants to wake up every morning for the rest of his life. He’s safe and content with his man and their dogs.

Jared stirs, rolling over as his back presses into Jensen’s side and he snuggles in closer pushing in tight before pulling Jensen’s arm under his head positioning it in the curve of his neck then lacing his fingers through Jensen’s.

Jensen rolls on his side pressing his chest into Jared’s back burying his face into the back of his neck laying soft kisses along the hair line, the soft hairs tickling his nose as he nuzzles. “I want you to move in with me.” His breath hot against Jared’s flesh, his voice soft and low. Jared giggles at the tickle. He groans a contented sound before squeezing Jensen’s hand with his fingers. “Did you say something Jen?” His voice sleepy, Texas accent thick on his tongue. Jensen licks Jared’s neck, a hot slick wet glide across the base of his neck up to his ear and nips at the lobe before whispering hot into his ear. “Move in with me.” His mouth nuzzling comfortably at Jared’s ear. Jared’s eyes flutter open at the statement; he turns his head until he’s face to face with Jensen looking up at him with wide eyes. “Move in with you?” he says repeating with question. Jensen smiles and kisses his mouth with a soft intimate kiss. “Yes, move in with me.”

Jared smiles, his eyes welling with tears, his lips quivering with emotion. “Jen, are you sure? I mean, yeah I can see me and you living together until we’re old men but the kids too?” Jensen looks towards the foot of the bed hearing the dogs snoring. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. They love the yard, I love them, I love you, they’re your kids, they’re our kids and I want you here with me in our home, together.” Jared pulls Jensen down into a deep passionate kiss their lips tangled tongues swirling against each other and Jared breaks off still holding Jensen’s head in his hands, eyes meeting gazing deep into Jensen’s. “I, we, wouldn’t have it any other way either.” He sits up and calls the dogs. “Sadie, Harley.” The dogs jump up on the bed and trample over Jensen to get to Jared nuzzling at his face. “We’re home kids, we are home.”

**two weeks later…**  
Jensen stands at the dining room table sorting through old unopened mail, work papers, notes and Old newspapers. “I don’t know how you ever found anything on this table Jared.” He says with exasperation. Jared laughs the sound coming from the kitchen. “Really, I never bothered looking for anything on there, once it hit the table it was fodder for the Universe to figure out. “ He laughs even harder dishes clanking as he puts them in a box on the counter. He walks over with a large trash bag and with a mighty sweep of his arm pushes half of the table into the bag. “There, that should be about right.” Jensen starts laughing. “So nothing on the table goes with you?” Jared looks over it and plucks the glass fruit bowl from the center of the table and tucks it under his arm. “Now everything goes in the trash.” Jensen looks at the bowl filled with dusty plastic fruit. “Really, you’re keeping a glass bowl with dusty plastic fruit but hand written notes with quantum physics equations on them go in the trash?” Jared smiles, rubs the bowl like it’s the most precious thing he has ever held and smiles. “It’s a house warming gift from my Mother. She thought I needed a touch of home when I moved in and she brought over this bowl with a bag of plastic fruit, told me to get a dining room table and put this in the center. She smiles at it every time she visits. So now, it’s going on your, I mean, our, dining room table at home.” Jensen chuckles as he stares at the dusty fruit. “Okay but you’re buying new fruit no dusty old plastic fruit on our table.” Jensen kisses Jared and smacks his behind as he walks back to the kitchen to pack the bowl with the dishes.

They pack all the boxes into the back of Jensen’s truck before heading back to the apartment for the moving sale that Jared advertised for this weekend. It stated, _Moving Sale; Everything must go because I’m going._ He had hung a flyer up on the campus bulletin board and put an ad in the campus Newspaper.

Three hours into the sale and everything but an old coat rack and his collection of VHS tapes recorded from the television episodes of the original Ripley’s Believe it or Not was sold. Jensen sits on the countertop cashbox on his lap, a fist of dollar bills in his hand. “Three hundred and nine dollars and twenty-five cents, not bad Jared. Sorry I couldn’t unload the VHS tapes. I really tried and almost had that nerdy guy with the crooked button down shirt convinced to buy them but I guess he thought ten cents was too much for VHS television taped episodes.” Jensen chuckles as he stuffs the cash back into the box.

Jared tucks the box of tapes under his arm and decides to leave the coat rack for the next tenant, setting it next to the doorway before closing the door and turning the key to lock it.

** 2010 **

[ ](http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a348/Dolavine/?action=view&current=string-theory-divider_1.jpg)

Jensen sits in the airport passenger pick-up area waiting for Jared to get off the plane from the symposium he attended over the weekend to give a speech about his paper on String theory. He looks over at the gate as Jared walks through the doorway his carry on slung over his shoulder, beanie on his head and bulky winter coat over his other arm. Jensen smiles and walks over to him taking him in his arms hugging him. “I missed you.” He says kissing him.

Jared smiles a tender sad smile. “I’m so glad to be home, you’ll never know how glad.” His arm wrapping around Jensen’s waist as they walk to the exit.

The dogs greet Jared at the door; he drops his bag and coat to love on them. Jensen smiles at the sight. “Are you hungry?” Jared shakes his head no. “I just want to lie down, I’m really exhausted. It was a very long weekend Jen.” Jensen has never heard him sound so sad. Jared walks up to the bedroom and strips before lying down across the bed, head in his hands.

Jensen follows him up the stairs, opening the door to the bedroom and looking in on him. “Jay.” He walks over to the bed and sits on the edge. “What’s wrong?” Jensen lays his hand on Jared’s back rubbing lightly.

“I really don’t want to talk about it Jen.”

“It might help if you did.” Jensen says shifting on the bed to lie down next to Jared wrapping his arms around him.

He turns to face Jensen, putting his hand on Jensen’s face, tracing the soft curves of his mouth before leaning in for a gentle kiss his eyes transfixed on Jensen’s. “I’m not sure what’s going to happen Jen, I’ve been trying for almost a year to get funded for the next three years but it’s like the well is dry for me.” His eyes fill with tears. “This is the first time in five years that I’m not sure what’s going to happen with my work.”

“Aren’t there any more avenues you can explore for funding? I mean this can’t be the last straw Jay there has to be money out there waiting to help you.”

Jared heaves a deep sigh, his hand dropping to the bed. “There were twenty Alumni contributors to the science department there, none of them showed any interest in funding me. I pressed the flesh Jen, I wooed and cooed, and pimped myself in the most Scientific whorish manners I could to them but nothing, no checks not one mention of funding for me.”

Jensen breathes deep, his lungs struggling to fill with air as his heart sinks for Jared. “What happens now?”  
“I wait to see what they say at my review next week. If it’s not good I’ll have a few months to clear out the lab and that will be that. I’ll be out of a job for the first time since I graduated.”

Jensen pulled Jared tight, his arms wrapping around him like a blanket pulling his face in tight to his neck stroking his hair. “Everything will work out fine Jay.” His voice comforting and calm.

 

All the next day Jensen can’t stop thinking about Jared’s problem and he can’t help but understand that possibly for the first time in five years he might have to _Slip_ to fix this problem for him. He’s not even sure if he can anymore. He hasn’t used his powers in five years, not since he met Jared and they fell in love. No need to fix something that isn’t broken and that is all Jensen did with his powers, used them to fix what needed changed in his life to make it better. He’s never even thought of using them for any type of monetary gain or criminal actions, until now. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind because he didn’t even know if Jared needed that kind of help yet or even if at all.

********

Two weeks later…

Jared collects the mail thumbing through it before laying it on the desk, he spots a letter addressed to him from the University and his heart stops, sinks to his stomach and he calls for Jensen. “Jen!” He drops all the mail on the floor except for the letter which he is worrying between his thumb and forefinger when Jensen runs in from outside wiping his greasy hands with an even greasier rag.

“What’s wrong Jay?” He looks at Jared’s face, the worry in his eyes, and the letter in his hands. Jared swallows hard and pushes the letter in Jensen’s direction. “It’s from the University Science Department.” He says his words cracking in his tight throat.

Jensen takes the letter looking at it before running his finger under the glued flap of the envelope pulling it loose and slipping out the white crisp paper tucked inside. He looks into Jared’s eyes, they’re filled with worry. Jared’s hands are clasped together like he’s praying and his lips are squeezed into a thin tight white line. “It might not be bad news Jay. Take a deep breath.” Jared listens as if in a trance gasping in a hard ragged breath before exhaling loud and hard. “Good, now I’m going to read it.” He says unfolding the letter. It seems like hours as the paper makes rustling sounds in Jared’s ears as it unfolds, he watches Jensen’s fingers slide up the page to the corner gripping it tenderly, pulling it straight before reading it to Jared.

_Mr. Jared Padalecki,_

_We are sorry to inform you that the interest in the Theoretical Science Department has been small this year and only a small amount of funding has been donated to the University._

_We were unable to sustain any non teaching funding for this part of the Science Department and therefore your funding has been cut._

_We are sad to lose you but as there are no other positions available to your specific  
Field we must ask you to step down relinquishing your laboratory back to the Science Department. You have 30 days to vacate the Lab and turn in all of your keys and equipment back to the Science Department office._

_Thank you for your loyal and dedicated services. Many of your theories over the last 5yrs have proven to be very useful within the Scientific Academia of this University and we hope that when funding is available we are able to ask you to rejoin our staff again._

_Yours Truly,_  
James Beaver  
Dean of Administration 

 

Jensen’s voice cracks as he reads the letter, his heart pounds and he doesn’t look at Jared until the very end.

Jared clutches the wall his mouth open and panting with panic, his knees feel weak, his limbs are numb and he sinks to the floor a tiny sob escaping his throat as he squeezes his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. “I…I…I’m a failure Jen, a failure.” He says into his hands.

Jensen drops to his knees embracing Jared pulling him in tight. “You’re not a failure. These things happen and there is nothing you can do about it.” He places a soft kiss on Jared’s head as he rocks him back and forth their bodies crumpled on the floor.

Jared spends the entire weekend in bed. Jensen is distraught, he doesn’t know what to do to help him. He fumbles through Saturday spending a good part of the day in bed with Jared just holding him, comforting him and coaxing him to eat. He watches as the man he loves falls apart and he is helpless to do anything about it.

Sunday is another day of pain and Jensen can’t bring himself to spend the day comforting Jared again, he needs to find a way to help him. He entertains the idea of trying to slip just to see if he can. He bites his lower lip nervous with the idea of trying it, what if he can’t, what if he lost that skill when he quit five years ago? His mind reels with the possibilities and he finally decides to try and move backwards just a few hours to test himself.

He closes his eyes and thinks about their kitchen, the sun streaming in the small window above the sink, his hands in the warm soapy water as he washes the dishes. He takes a deep breath letting his muscles go limp, his mind focusing on only the feel of the warm soapy water, two hours earlier, and his head starts to buzz. He feels the fade, then the electricity tingling all over his body, his heart rate speeds up and then the inevitable feeling of a sleep like state.

Jensen opens his eyes, his hands warm and wet, the warm sun hitting his face as he grips the sponge and pushes it against the plate as he does the dishes. He looks at the clock on the wall and he is most definitely two hours earlier in the day. He smiles, proud of himself and now feels like there might be something he can do to help Jared, he just doesn’t know what, yet.

They report early to work on Monday morning, Jensen going with Jared to help him get started with the packing up of the lab. He watches Jared carefully pull supplies from the long locker next to his desk as he unfolds and tapes boxes together. His heart sinks at the empty lonely look in Jared’s eyes and all he wants to do is make him smile again.

Sitting in the Library Jensen can’t get any of his research done, his pen tucked between his teeth, hands propping up his head holding his temples, elbows planted firmly on the table. His mind is reeling with ways to save Jared’s job, to get him the money he needs to keep his Lab up and running. He knows it’s too late, that the die has been cast and in this space and time he can’t do anything to help him but he can’t help but feel the urge to save him, the need to protect him from this pain.

Friday night Jensen and Jared bring home a load of the boxes full of papers and equipment from the Lab. Jensen drops the tailgate on the truck sliding the boxes to the edge. Jared opens the garage door before taking a few of the boxes and stacking them neatly inside of the garage. Jensen brings the last box from the truck and sets it down next the others. He opens the extra refrigerator and takes out two beers handing one to Jared. “It’s all going to be alright Jay.” He says with confidence as he cracks the cap on his beer and takes a long swallow. Jared looks at him and gives a half hearted smile before cracking his cap and drinking from the bottle. “You know, it’s not even the fact that the funding dried up.” He looks over at Jensen pushing the beer bottle in the direction of the boxes. “It’s the fact that they didn’t even have the decency to tell me in person, to call me to the office and break it to me like I’m an actual man not just funding.” Jensen blows out a harsh hiss of breath, takes a long swallow from his beer and puts his hand on Jared’s shoulder. “You’ll find something else and in no time at all the University will be a fond memory of where you got your start.” Jared smiles his eyes showing the emotion of happiness as he looks into Jensen’s confident eyes. “I hope you’re right Jen, I hope your right.”

 

Sunday morning Jared stays in bed his bout of depression hitting him in the gut hard and Jensen can’t do anything about it but bring him food and lay next to him on and off all day.

Jensen sits in the darkened living room, the television light dancing in his eyes. He’s not watching it, not paying any attention to what’s on because his brain is whirring with ideas on how to bring Jared out of his funk. The sound of a woman’s screeching voice breaks his concentration and he looks over to see an infomercial about a food grill invading his private time. He flips the channel until he stops on the game show network. The World Poker Tour is showing, he looks at it mindlessly the pile of chips in the center of the table, the way the cards are dealt, hands slipping over the green velvet and he watches as the pot grows to over 100,000 dollars and the grand prize for the winner is take all, 2million dollars. His heart skips a beat as he hits the dvr button and records the rest of the show. He gets an idea, he watches it over again, studying the hands, the cards, the winners, the losers, and he knows what he wants to do. He wants to go back two weeks, sign up for the poker tournament and win Jared the money to save his funding. He gets up and goes over to his laptop sitting on the kitchen table and looks up all of the information on how to sign up for the tournament.

He needs to set his plan into motion. He finds out it costs five thousand dollars to join. He swallows hard but knows he has it in his rainy day fund and hey it’s for Jared so no loss because he is going to win. He finds out that you sign up online but your entry needs to be at least two weeks before the competition and it’s held in Las Vegas. Jensen knows what he has to do.

Jensen makes a sandwich and a cup of tea taking it upstairs to the bedroom to Jared. He smiles at Jared laying on the bed his head under the covers. He sits down next to him and offers him the food.

Jared uncovers his head peeking out with over sleepy eyes and sits up. “You realize you’re too good for me don’t you.” He takes a bite of the sandwich. Jensen laughs and touches Jared’s cheek. “I love you and that means for better or worse remember.” He holds up his left hand, golden band shining in the dim lamplight. Jared smiles against his bite of sandwich and leans over to kiss Jensen but Jensen pulls back. “Not with sandwich mouth, you’re not kissing me like that.” He starts to laugh but then kisses Jared anyway soft lips pushed against Jared’s and he can feel him swallow his bite before kissing back feverishly.

Jensen holds Jared’s head still, finishes the kiss and pulls off looking into Jared’s eyes earnestly. “It’s all going to be fine Jay tomorrow is a new day and it’s all going to be fine.” He closes his mouth over Jared’s before he can say anything in return.

It’s Monday morning and Jensen’s spacious office feels too small. He thinks about Jared, about the poker tournament and his hands sweat with the possibilities of what he is considering. He knows he has never done this before, never even entertained the idea of cheating at life. Yeah sure he fixed schoolwork, tests, and an occasional meet up with a cute guy but never any monetary cheating because it feels way too much like stealing.

He knows if he is going to do this, this, thing with the poker tournament he is going to have to do it now because he doesn’t want to lose his nerve. He knows he has to think about where he wants to be, what space in time, what date he is going to need and he isn’t all too sure where his laptop was about a month ago because he has to go back that far just to sign up. He figures his best bet would be to slip back to a day when he would have been working here in his office or at the library because he would have his computer with him then. He flips through his date book and finds that he was in the library on Wednesday three weeks ago for research because he had to book the appointment to use the reference room books. This is where he is going to start his plan.

He takes in a deep breath and closes his eyes, puts his hands flat on the cool wood of his uncluttered desk and focuses his mind on the hard wood paneled walls of the library. He thinks about the date, the time of day he would have been there, the smell of books, old paper yellowed and slipping between the pads of his fingers. His head starts to buzz, his breathing slows, electricity shoots through his body, his fingertips are tingling, body going numb and he relaxes against the feeling letting it take him into that place, that bizarre quiet place in his mind just before he feels his brain shut down, sleep like sensation washing over him and he slips.

Jensen opens his eyes; he’s face down in a book with drool running off of his lower lip. He sits upright and looks around, seeing people scattered about at the long tables adorning the room. It’s the library, the right place but something feels off. He searches the table for his laptop but it’s not there. He never goes to the library without it, not to research things, he needs it. He reaches under the table for his shoulder bag grabs the fabric handle and pulls on it, but when he pulls it out, it’s a backpack. He looks at it and it’s strangely familiar to him. He opens it; it’s filled with books, text and notebooks. He looks around the room confused. Something just seems wrong about this. He looks at the book he was sleeping on. Contemporary Literature for the Twentieth Century. He scowls, knits his brow and shakes his head. He remembers taking this course when he was a senior in college but that was ten years ago. He’s so confused he can’t understand what’s happening.

He shoves the book into the backpack and stands up to leave and looks down at himself, his clothes are not like something he would wear now but like something he might have worn in college. He has on a black t-shirt, a flannel shirt over it, faded jeans with a hole in the knee and converse sneakers. He touches his face feeling the thick stubble on his chin, just like the wannabe beard he wore his senior year in college. He rushes over to the wall next to the exit doors where the atomic clock and calendar hangs on the wall. He looks up at it and reads the date. Wednesday October 10th 2000. He drops the backpack to the floor his jaw slack and open with surprise. Everything starts to spin and he can’t help but feel so dizzy that he wants to fall down, grab the floor and beg for it to stop moving before he vomits.

Jensen closes his eyes right there at the exit doors, takes a deep breath and focuses on his desk back in his office in the year 2010, how the wood felt under his palms, how the chair held his back erect and he waits for the feeling, that buzzing sound to engulf his head, the feeling of electricity surging through his body, that overwhelming feeling of sleep overtaking him but nothing comes. He squeezes his eyes tighter as he’s rolling his hands into loose fists, pushing his shoulders back, neck straight and erect, jaw clenched tight as he tries again this time adding the need and want he so often feels when he slips forward again. He thinks of Jared, how he loves him, how he is doing this for him, the way the kitchen looks, how the sugar bowl had the lid tipped upside down this morning when he left for work, how Jared kissed him good-bye before he walked out the door and he waits for the rush of adrenaline that accompanies the buzzing, hot electric ripples, calm drifting feelings to overtake him but again nothing. His hands tremble and tears well in his eyes as panic sets in flooding his entire body. He’s scared, this has never happened before; he has never been…… _stuck_ …. in time before.

He leans against the electronic pillar at the exit and composes himself, pushing the panic to the bottom of his stomach, taking deep breaths as he looks out the glass doors at the white stone steps leading across campus to the row of red brick dorms and he’s hit with a thought like a thunderbolt. “Dorm room!” he exclaims as he picks up his backpack and runs out the doors sprinting across the green campus lawn advancing his speed until he’s in a full breakneck run. His feet pounding the grass, then pavement, cement and marble stairs, he hits the doors of his Dorm with speed and determination.

He sprints up the stairs to the third floor running down the hall, weaving in between people crowding the halls, a voice calls out. “Hey, Jensen.” He doesn’t even look just rushes to his room, flings the door open and then slams it shut locking it behind him. He drops the backpack on the floor, toes off his shoes and lies down on his bed. He pulls the rumpled blanket over his sweating body feeling the mattress give way to his body and he bites hard on his lip. He remembers how he would slip in and out when he was still in college, how he would make his body really warm and stare up at the ceiling where he has a huge poster of the constellations against a deep blue background. He focuses on it, feeling his eyes turn glassy, his lower lip caught between his teeth as he starts to focus. He can see all the images transposed onto the navy blue background like a movie screen. He sees Jared smiling, their living room, the dogs lying on the floor at his feet and can feel his hand around Jared’s arm as they lean back against the sofa watching television. He lets his mind fall deep into these thoughts as he waits yet again for those all too familiar sensations but they never come, he lays there for what seems like hours waiting, wanting, but not getting anything. Every time he closes his eyes when he opens them he’s still here in the small single bed dorm room in the year 2000.

He feels tears well in his eyes and slip out of the corners sliding down his face backwards into his hair as the fear of not seeing Jared floods his brain. He can’t get back and he can’t figure out why when he only wanted to slip a few weeks back, he slipped ten years into the past. He lies there thinking, his mind reeling with what he is going to do. He knows he needs to attend class in the morning, go about his days like he is the 22 year old Jensen Ackles in his senior year of College. He knows he has to relive every experience and go through the motions all over again. His brain starts to hurt as he listens to the sounds of the other students milling around outside his door, which he used to always keep open even when he was studying but now it’s closed and all he can do is listen to the sounds of overzealous students frolicking around outside his door. The sounds loll him to sleep, his eyes slipping closed; his last coherent thoughts are of Jared next to him, his arms draped loosely over Jared’s side and the dogs sleeping at their feet, Sadie crowding him up the bed as she curls up on his feet.  


[Chapter 4](http://j2-ficwhore.livejournal.com/5730.html)


	4. Part4 a timeless connection J2 bigbang

** 2000 **

[ ](http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a348/Dolavine/?action=view&current=string-theory-divider3.png)

The alarm goes off stirring Jensen awake, his body sweaty and hot, his shirts tucked up around his chest and his jeans are twisted at the crotch and damned uncomfortable against him. He looks around the room and realizes that it isn’t a bad dream; he’s still in his college dorm. He sits up, rubs his hand down over his face sighing deep and contemplates not going to class today.

He decides he needs to go to class at least for today and grabs his towel, soap, and shampoo before he heads to the showers.

He forgot how empty the halls could be at 6:00 in the morning and how he always took the earliest classes so that he could enjoy his walk across campus without the hustle and bustle caused by the insanity of college life.

He turns on the water letting the hot steam fill the air around him; the tiny droplets cool as they hit his overheated skin. He strips down outside the stall letting his clothes lay in a pile in the empty room. The cold tile feels soothing on his feet before he steps into the shower, the hot water sliding over his body running over his head, down his face washing away the sleep. He exhales hard into the stream his eyes closed and he can feel tears behind his eyelids. This is still too much for him, too much to take. His hand reaches out and grips the slippery smooth tiled wall as he fights the fear welling in his chest.

He thinks of Jared again, there has been nothing else on his mind for weeks really, both then and now. He thinks of his smile, craves his touch, and wants to hear his sexy deep throaty laugh. He swallows hard and composes himself before soaping up, rubbing the foam over his chest, arms, down over his belly to his cock where he lingers for a second slicking over the shaft, mind going to Jared’s touch and how Jared always liked a good morning sexy shower. His hand smoothes over the head paying attention to the slit as his thumb glides over it, circling it, teasing it as if it were Jared’s tongue, he can see his smiling hazel eyes peeking up through wet bangs to watch his expressions as he smiles around the head, tongue flicking out to taste the clean wet smoothness of his engorged cock. Jensen shudders and leans his head back letting the feelings overtake him as his hand works slow at his stiff member, thumb pushing into the crease below the mushroom head, pads of his fingertips slipping, sliding down and up over the head and back down again, pulling gently, skin rigid under his grasp as his pace quickens, he throws his head back squeezes his eyes tight, moans from the back of his throat and grunts out “Oh God Jared!” as he comes hard into the stream of hot water. He pumps himself with long meaningful strokes, pulling every last spurt from his balls, falling back against the wall spent and gasping, mind flooded with images of Jared smiling up at him cum on his lips as he licks them clean and he wants more than anything to kiss them sharing that goodness with him.

Jensen finishes his shower quickly and goes back to his room. He picks something out and dresses before grabbing his backpack and rifling through it for his schedule planner. He flips through it to find out where he is supposed to be and what time he has to be there. He scans the page, sees it’s English Lit at 7am and he remembers all the statistics. He grabs his English Lit book and checks for homework assignments, notes, and reading assignments all done and ready for class. He scans everything, refreshing his memory and packs everything away again, slings the pack over his shoulder and heads out the door.

The air is crisp and fresh, the grass is still green. Jensen takes his time cutting across campus through the garden, looking everything over, remembering how his senior year was pretty lackluster as he was ready to graduate and move on with life. He passes the Science building and stops to look at it, his heart heavy. He thinks about trying to slip again, to move forward right now and go back to Jared. He sits on the steps of the building; the cold cement chilling him as he closes his eyes and thinks about being back with Jared. He takes a deep breath, relaxes every muscle in his body and tries to feel those signs. His hands clench into loose fists on his knees as he impatiently waits but nothing happens. He puts his face into his hands sighing deeply before running them down over his face letting them slip off of his chin and onto his neck before grabbing his backpack again and standing up.

He turns to walk away when he hears a sweet voice echo from behind him. “Jensen Ackles?” it questions. He turns back to the building, looking up and seeing a slender dark haired woman at the top of them looking down at him. She walks down several steps and gives a tiny squeak. “Jensen Ackles, it is you.” She hurries down the rest of the way to him.

Jensen looks at her, that long dark hair and smiling eyes. “Sandy McCoy?” He reaches up to take her hand and help her down the last few steps. “Wow. I didn’t even know you went here.” He says surprised.

Sandy jumps forward and hugs Jensen tight, burying her face in his neck. “Jensen Ackles. I can’t believe I’m standing here talking to you.” She says all smiles and shiny eyes.

“Yeah, I think you’re probably the last person I would have thought of seeing this morning.” He rubs the back of his neck as she lets go of his hand.  
“Well I’m just a freshman, just stated this semester. So what are you a Junior or Senior?” her eyes look him up and down.  
“Senior. Yeah graduate this year, if I can get to class on time that is.” He looks at his watch, 6:47am.  
“Oh, where are you headed to?” She asks expectantly.  
“Uh, English Lit with Professor Morgan and he’s a real hard ass about being on time.” He says starting to walk away. “So it was really good seeing you maybe I’ll see you again.” He fakes a smile and continues walking.

“Wait up, I’m going to the Library I can walk with you, you know catch up on old times and all that.” Her infectious smile spreads wide across her teeth. “I come early every morning before class and study cause it’s really hard finding time to do your work with a kid and husband who works third shift at the plant.” She catches up to walk side by side with Jensen.  
“A kid huh?” He says not looking at her and he couldn’t be less interested. “So who did you end up marrying?” He fakes interest.  
“Mike, I’m now Sandy Rosenbaum, he finally made an honest woman of me after Sadie was born.” She reaches into her purse and pulls out a tiny photo and shoves it in Jensen’s direction.  
He takes the picture and looks at it. “She’s pretty, looks more like you than Mike.” He hands the picture back. “So what are you studying?” He asks now a bit more interested.  
“Biology. I want to be a Lab Tech at the Hospital and I need three science courses to get my degree.”  
“Cool, I know you will do fine, you always were really smart.”

He looks up and sees the English building. “Here’s my stop. Good luck with everything.” He says turning off the path and stepping onto the steps.  
“Hey, let’s do lunch this afternoon.” She says taking his arm and starting up the stairs with him.  
Jensen looks at her, his face in shock. “Well, uh, I.” He stammers.  
“Come on, it’ll be fun, besides my tutor will be there and he doesn’t talk about anything but science even when he’s not tutoring me. So boring. Give me something else to talk about, please…… Jensen… save me from his boringness.” She rolls her eyes up to his, a pleading look on her face.  
Jensen laughs. “Huh really? Well, Okay. I’ll meet your there about, let’s say.” He looks at his watch. “12:30.”  
She smiles. “12:30 it is. I can’t wait, so much to catch up on.” She says hopping off the steps and heading back to the Library path.

[ ](http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a348/Dolavine/?action=view&current=starsspacedivider3.png)

 

Jensen walks into the student cafeteria and it’s just the same as ten years earlier as it is ten years later. He scans the room looking for Sandy when she steps up behind him and taps his shoulder. “Hey, I’m over here.” She says dragging him across the crowded room. She pulls him down into a chair next to hers. There are two trays with food on them, one where she sits and one where she sits him. “I hope you don’t mind.” She says rather than asks as she points to the tray. “I took the liberty of getting you a tray too. If I remember correctly fish sticks and French fries are one of your favorites.” She sits down next to him and picks at her salad as Jensen settles in pulling the tray in front of him. “Yeah, thanks.” He says rubbing the back of his neck and getting that same feeling he got at the bowling alley on his birthday right before she kissed him. “Fish sticks are great.” He says shyly.

They spend several minutes in silence, picking at their food when Sandy stands up and starts waving her hands. Jensen looks up in the general direction of her gaze as she emphatically waves over a young man struggling with his tray of food and book bag.

The young man is tall and thin, a bit gangly, short cut wavy hair a bit messy but nice. Jensen can’t see his face as he is staring down at his shoes like they are the most interesting thing on Earth as he weaves awkwardly through the maze of tables and people.

Sandy goes over to him and takes his tray before he trips over something or someone and leads him by the arm to the table.

The young man keeps his head down and hangs his book bag on the table before sitting down and fixing his tray in front of him.

Jensen has started eating his food not bothering to pay much attention to the young man as Sandy sits down and begins to chatter.  
“Jensen this is my Biology tutor.” She points in his direction as Jensen looks over in his direction.  
“Jared this is my old friend from high school Jensen Ackles.” Jared looks up into Jensen’s face. Sandy points from Jensen to Jared and back again. “Oh Yeah Jensen this is Jared Padalecki, Tutor extraordinaire.”

Jensen’s face drops, his eyes go wide, his heart beats so fast he thinks his chest is going to explode all over his fish sticks and he can’t breathe, he can’t think, he can’t…. well he just can’t think of anything but Sandy’s voice saying, “Jared Padalecki tutor extraordinaire.” Over and over again in his head until all other sounds are drowned out.

Jared looks shyly over at Jensen and clears his throat, extending his hand with a small smile. His eyes twinkle slightly as they peek out from underneath his shaggy bangs.

Jensen exhales softly and composes himself so that his hand isn’t shaking when he reaches out and takes it. He shakes his hand like its porcelain and he might break it.  
“Nice to meet you Jensen.” Jared says softly with a shy voice. He lets go of Jensen’s hand.  
“Very nice to meet you Jay…red.” Jensen says his voice shaky and very unsure.

It’s like he is in a dream world, like he’s looking at old photos that have come to life and he can’t believe he is meeting Jared again for the first time. Sure it’s Jared before he was his Jay, a young innocent version of his Jay, but still it’s Jared freakin Padalecki here with him at the table and he can’t believe it. He’s so in shock that he stares at him as he watches his fingers open the milk container seeing that he still bites his fingernails or does bite his fingernails. Oh hell he’s not sure how to phrase this in his head because it’s all so new, so exciting and yet somehow old and friendly, routine but not. Its mind boggling and he doesn’t know how to handle it.

Sandy’s voice breaks his trance. “So Jensen, do you have a girlfriend?” she says casually shoving one of his French fries into her mouth.  
“Uhm, no, no girlfriend.” He says reaching up to rub the back of his neck, his cheeks bright red and he looks over at Jared. Jared only glances at him from under his bangs for a second, head tilted down busy with his cheeseburger.

“Really, a totally hot hunk of man like you with no girlfriend? I’m going to have to fix this.” She pulls a small notebook from her purse and starts to thumb through it. “Oh Beth is nice, maybe not your type though, too well let’s say she’s really curvy.” She continues to thumb through the book.

Jensen continues to look at Jared who is paying them no attention as he eats his burger as if nothing else is going on at the table.

“Oh here, Susan Westleg. She’s, well dreamy, and you know what, she will do a threesome 'cause I hear she, well shared her last boyfriend with her roommate.” She winks at Jensen tapping her name with her index finger.

Jensen looks in her eyes and swallows hard. “Sandy, thanks for all of your good intentions but really I’m not that interested in….” She cuts him off before he can finish and squeals with delight.  
“Oooh! Kat. Now she’s your type to a T I’m so sure of it I’ll bet money you’d have a good time with her.” Jensen puts his hand on hers pushing the book to the table.

“Sandy I’m…. gay.” He says, his breathing hard, his eyes an intense green.  
“Oh.” She says looking down at her book pondering things for a second. “Wow that really explains a lot. I mean I knew you weren’t in to me like I was you but now I know why you stopped me at the bowling alley. Oh, so that rumor about you kissing Chris Kane was true then?” She asks wide eyed, biting at her lower lip like if he says yes she’s going to cream her panties.

“I’m not one to kiss and tell Sandy and that’s all I’m saying.” He lets go of her hand and looks over at Jared who has stopped eating his burger and is staring at him with his mouth open and eyes wide.

Jared blinks, takes a deep breath and swallows hard. “You’re gay?” He manages to say.

Sandy laughs. “Honestly Jensen that’s the first non science related thing he has said at this table since I met him over a month ago.”

Jensen leans over to him and whispers. “Yep and it’s a big secret so don’t spread it around.” He says jokingly as he touches Jared’s hand and instantly blushes at his warmth.

Jared smiles but doesn’t pull away from his touch, warm and inviting. He looks over at Sandy picking at her salad while stealing Jensen’s fries and whispers very low leaning close to Jensen. “So am I.” He glances at Sandy to make sure she didn’t hear him before he sits up straight and tall, removing his fingers from under Jensen’s hand. Jensen winces at the loss of Jared’s touch. Jensen can tell he’s not out and likes it that way for right now so he just nods and leans back in his chair before dipping a fish stick in tartar sauce and eating it.

Jensen finishes his tray while listening to Sandy go on about all the things in her life, not paying attention to her because all he can think about is how Jared is sitting just inches away from him and he can’t do a damned thing about it. He wants to lean over and kiss his beautiful mouth, look into those hazel eyes and tell him everything; how much he loves him and how they are going to meet in the future and fall madly in love with each other, get married and live together as a couple but all he can do is stare at him and wish things were somehow different.

Jensen gathers up his tray and looks at his watch. “Oh crap, I’m sorry but I have to go.” He says gathering his things up and standing to leave. “I guess lunch tomorrow?” he asks looking at Sandy and then at Jared.  
“I don’t have any classes tomorrow so I won’t be here. I only come three days a week, part time student here. “Sandy says raising her hand in the air.

Jensen frowns and then Jared looks up at him. “I’m a full time student; I’ll be here around the same time tomorrow if you want to sit with me.” He looks down at the table rubbing his thumb on the edge of his tray.

Jensen smiles at him. “Sure Jared I’ll be here, same time same seating.” He laughs and touches Jared’s shoulder before excusing himself and leaving.

His last class ran late, he had to stop by the library to get a reference book for his World History class for tomorrow and now it’s dark. He stops by the Cafeteria on his way back to the Dorm to grab a bite to eat when he sees Jared walking across campus, his book bag slung across his body, his long thin frame staggering under the weight of it and he smiles at him as he watches him brush his bangs from his forehead. Jensen rushes to catch up to him. “Jared, hey Jared.” He calls as he approaches and Jared turns to look.

Jared turns and falters his stride so that Jensen can catch up. “Hey Jensen.” He smiles at him as if he’s glad to see him.

“Hey, where ya going?” Jensen says matching Jared’s stride.

“To the student Union for something to eat.”

“Cool I’m heading there myself. I’m starved, haven’t eaten since lunch.” Jensen rubs his belly and gives it a hollow pat.

Jared laughs at him. “Great you can eat with me, I hate eating alone. I usually take it back to my dorm room but then my roommate mooches it off me if he’s there and I still don’t get my supper.” He makes a disgusted face. “He’s a jock and I’m a nerd so he thinks this is like the movies and he rules campus.” He makes a scoffing noise and rolls his eyes.

Jensen shakes his head. “Bastard.” Is all he can say as they head inside the student union.

They sit at a small table in the corner, tray of food between them and they share it like its all normal, something they do every day while they talk.

Jared reaches for a chip at the same time Jensen does and their fingers meet at the edge of the bag. Jensen looks into his eyes and smiles. “Sorry.” He says pulling back a little and Jared smiles back. “Its okay, no harm no fouls.” He pulls the chip from the bag and pops it in his mouth with a wide smile.

“So, what are you studying?” Jensen asks knowing full well what his field of study is.

“Science. Not really sure what base but I’m leaning towards Biology cause it comes easy to me and I hate chemistry.” Jared wrinkles his nose.

“Oh you’re not into physics or anything like that?” Jensen looks surprised.

“Nope. I never liked Earth Space Science and Physics generally bores me. I do like Astronomy though and the idea of infinite space.” He grabs another chip and shoves it in his mouth as he finishes his sentence. “The idea that there could be an infinite amount of galaxies out there, aliens, and other life forms really does excite me, but I’m not one of those Sci-fi people like Star Wars nuts and Trekkies dressing like television aliens.” He starts to laugh and rolls his eyes. “God!” he says exasperatedly.

Jensen starts to laugh almost uncontrollably at his complete cuteness. “I can see that. You dressed as a star wars character maybe a storm trooper or.” Jared cuts him off with his sentence. “Chewbacca, the giant Wookie.” He throws his head back and makes a growling sound. Jensen laughs at his impersonation. “Well maybe not a hairy Wookie but still it would be hysterical.”

They walk back to their dorms, heading in the same direction, sharing the dark walk across campus.

Jared stops in front of one of the freshman dorms; he shifts his bag on his shoulder and looks down at the ground. “Well here I am.” He says pointing at the dormitory.

“Oh.” Jensen says disappointment in his voice. He rubs the back of his neck and looks down at the ground. “I’m three more dorms up in Tyler Hall.” He looks back up at Jared’s face, the light of the moon illuminating his tan skin.

“I guess I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow?” Jared asks expectantly.

“Oh Yeah, I’ll be there.” Jensen perks up rubbing his brow. “I wouldn’t miss it.”  
“Cool.” Jared smiles. “Well, I’ll see you then.” He waves as he turns and heads up the walkway to the building.

Jensen watches him walk up to the building, enter the double doors and disappear inside. He stands there for a few minutes looking up at the windows waiting for a new light to come on in one, maybe catch a glimpse of him through it but no lights go on and he sighs deep before heading home.

*********

Jensen lies down on his bed and opens his book, intent on getting his reading assignment done just in case the move forward doesn’t work again tomorrow. He reads the first few paragraphs and feels restless. He rolls over on his back, stares up at the poster on his ceiling and tucks his hands behind his head. He thinks about Jared, how his young face is so innocent, how he is so… young and kind of fragile. He wonders what the smooth skin of his face feels like, if it’s as smooth as it looks. His thoughts wander to his long thin fingers, how they move when he talks, the smile in his eyes when he gets excited and he feels like he’s seeing him for the very first time, like the last five years with Jared hadn’t even existed and this is all new to him.

Jensen closes his eyes and his hand drifts over his chest making lazy circles down the center of his rib cage as he thinks about Jared’s soft lips curling into a smile, the way the chip slipped between them before he locked them tight to chew and he feels heat in his belly as it tightens. He fingers the soft cotton of his T-shirt, feeling the slight dip of his belly button and he lingers a bit making tiny circles down inside, the tingle shooting straight to his cock, making it stiffen against his boxers. He sighs hard, the deep intake of breath filling his lungs as his hand slips down over his zipper pressing hard against the bulge building behind it.

He wonders how soft his lips would be if he kissed them and he swallows hard as he imagines what his young inexperienced mouth would feel like fumbling against his and it makes his cock twitch and ache to be touched. He slips his hand beneath the tight band of his jeans to tease the head with his fingertips through the soft cotton of his boxers and he arches his hips at the feel. He pictures Jared’s soft hands there, fingers drifting over the head tickling at it, pads slipping over the soft cotton weave of his boxers teasing at him, a huge innocent smile on his face as he stares down into Jensen’s eyes. It’s almost more than Jensen can handle, he pops the button on his jeans and slides his hand down inside his jeans, under his boxers and slips his hard cock above them, sliding his hand down the hot throbbing shaft to the base then pulling back up hard and needy. His hand slips up and down the dry flesh feeling the slight burn as he increases his speed to match Jared’s as he fantasizes about Jared jerking him off rough and desperate. Jensen flicks his tongue out, breaths in hard through his nose, arches his hips and squeezes his eyes tight before he comes hard all over his belly, the cum shooting over his T-shirt, the wet fabric clinging to his belly as he uses the cum to slick his cock as he finishes slipping up and down riding out the last waves of his orgasm. He falls limply against the bed panting, beads of sweat on his forehead and wonders how many more lunches he can have with Jared before he has to have him alone, all to himself.

***********

The alarm goes off at 6am and Jensen rolls over still dressed in his street clothes again. He rubs his face and thinks “this is becoming a habit.” He pulls his t-shirt free from his belly and stands up. He wants to shower but instead decides that he is going to try and slip again. He sits up, makes his back straight, cracks his neck and focuses his breathing. He tries something new, instead of thinking of Jared he thinks about the feel of the sun on his face, the way it feels when he’s covered in it laying on a lounge in his back yard, the smell of the sweet peas as the breeze blows over him and he lets himself go, slip into that smell, the feel of all of it. He waits, focuses harder, waits, tries to relax, slow his heart rate but he feels frustrated and he can’t wait any longer, he can’t keep trying for something that is so obviously not going to come. He snaps his eyes open in frustration huffing out a loud breath and then thinks of Jared, young Jared who will be waiting for him at the cafeteria at lunchtime and things seem better.

*********

Jensen looks at his watch as the professor winds down his lesson on the effects of World War Two on society in modern Europe. Jensen’s leg bounces with impatient energy because he knows Jared is waiting for him in the cafeteria. The professor finishes and hands out the assignments for the weekend and dismisses everyone.

He runs across campus to the Student Union building, sprinting inside, breathing hard he scans the room for Jared. He sees him sitting with his face in a book eating something with red sauce and he saunters over collecting himself. “Hey.” He says acting nonchalant as he drops his backpack on the floor pulling out a chair. “Hey.” Jared replies mouth full of bread. “Where’s your tray?” Jensen pulls a few dollars out of his wallet and stands up. “Don’t leave I’ll be right back.” Jared laughs at him and shoves a tray in his direction. “Don’t worry I bought your lunch in case you were late, I know how Professor Collins likes to take every second of the class time up with his lengthy droning.” Jensen smiles, sits down and starts eating the tray Jared compiled for him consisting of Spaghetti, salad, bread, and fruit cup.

They talk all during lunch, laughing and swapping family antidotes. Jensen lets his hand touch Jared’s with the barest of brushes before asking him, “I’m not busy tomorrow afternoon, probably just going to spend the day vegetating at the library. I mean that is if you would like to join me I’d really like it.” He’s looking at Jared’s fingers still and warm beside his. Jared clears his throat and bites his lower lip. “I think I have some research to do.” Jensen frowns as he looks at him with disappointed eyes. “Oh.” His voice cracks. Jared smiles and moves his fingers a little to brush Jensen’s “What I mean is I have to go to the library too so, yes I would love to join you for a study session.” Jensen smiles big and wide, his fingers gliding harder against Jared’s watching his cheeks blush with the touch.

Jared has never felt such a connection with anyone. Usually he keeps to himself, does his schoolwork and keeps his head down. Studying, keeping up his grades and graduating on time are his only focuses but since Jensen just one day ago stepped into his life, he only wants to be next to him. He feels like a whole person around him, like something was missing all this time but now he’s found it. He smiles at Jensen and returns the touch, his fingers pushing slightly between Jensen’s before slipping out again.

“Tomorrow at the library then?” Jensen asks.  
“Yep, around 10am. I like to get there when they open it up because all the best tables get taken early.” Jared says nodding his head.  
“It’s a date… well, a study date that is.” Jensen stammers on the words.

The rest of the day goes by quickly, he thinks about meeting Jared at the library in the morning and he can’t wait. He stops by the cafeteria to pick up a sandwich for dinner before heading back to his dorm and scans the room for Jared but he’s not there. He makes a special point to walk past his dorm looking up at the lit windows hoping to see him walking past maybe just for a second get a glimpse of him but nothing. He heads back to his room.

He climbs the stairs two at a time and he hears the loud music booming from his floor and rolls his eyes. He knows since its Friday someone is having a party. He swings the door open and is bombarded with drunken people crushing into him as he makes his way down the hall to his room. A young blond woman grabs his arm and he turns to look at her. “Hey Jenny.” She says in a drunken slur. Jensen remembers her, its Katie his lab partner from Chemistry last year. “Hey Katie.” He says trying to push past her to his room. She follows him still holding his arm. “Jenny how come you never hit on me?” She says falling into him as he stops abruptly at his door. He looks at her with horror and confusion. “Maybe I’m a gentleman Katie.” He says turning the lock on his door. “But you have to know how much I want you to make a move on me right?” She says leaning against him rubbing her hand up and down his arm like she’s feeling his muscle before biting her lower lip and looking up into his eyes with soft seductive blue eyes. “Look Katie.” He says removing her hand before opening his door. “I’m just not interested. It has nothing to do with you, you’re beautiful just not my type.” He says stepping inside the room holding the door open when she pushes her way in and rips open her top exposing her breasts nuzzled into a lacey black bra. She stumbles over to his bed and throws herself backwards tilting back on the bed giggling. “Are these your type Jenny?” She says sitting back up running a finger down her cleavage dipping it inside her bra and back out before licking it. “All yours for the taking never had any man say no to them.”

Jensen takes her by the arm, stands her up, buttons her shirt and pushes her to the door. “I said I’m not interested Katie, now have some self-respect and go back to your room before someone does something to you you’ll regret tomorrow morning.” He steps with her into the hall and leaves her outside his door pouting as he shuts it behind him.

Jensen eats his sandwich, the music pounding through the walls as he tries to read his history assignment, his notebook open, his pen scribbling but his frustration is building at the noise. He doesn’t remember this being a problem the first time he lived this, as a matter of fact he would have been right out there with them, his door wide open, people drifting in and out and more than one hot guy would have been splayed out on his bed before the door would have been closed for privacy. He didn’t worry about studying back then, he knew there wasn’t anything he couldn’t accomplish with just a slight slip back in time and all would be right with his world. He doesn’t have that now, he is afraid to even try to slip back because he doesn’t know where he’ll end up, possibly in his mother’s womb. He can’t go forward back the way he came, so until he can he is content to stay here and do what he has to do, to survive and get back to the place he should be at in the future with Jared. 

[Chapter 5](http://j2-ficwhore.livejournal.com/6065.html)


	5. part 5 A timeless connection J2 bigbang

[ ](http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a348/Dolavine/?action=view&current=string-theory-divider4.png)

Jensen wakes up face down in his book, pen in hand, drool seeping out the side of his mouth and he sits straight up, his neck sore and he cracks it, looks around and notices the time. 9:30am. _Holy Shit!_ He exclaims as he grabs clean clothes and his bathroom supplies, rushing down the hall stepping over bodies strewn about the hallway in all manner of positions and undress. He rushes through a shower, shaving and brushing his teeth in the shower. He pulls his clean clothes over his damp body, rushes back to his room. throws his clothes in his room, picks up his book bag and keys and rushes out the door with ten minutes to get across campus to the library.

Jensen sprints across campus his breath cutting the cold October air in giant white puffs as he pushes onward to the Library. He sees the building just beyond the hedges and he stops to catch his breath before confidently strolling around the hedge and up the walkway to the building. He can see Jared standing at the entrance doors as he approaches the steps.

“Hey.” Jensen calls. “I thought I wasn’t going to make it this morning.” He laughs as he’s climbing the steps and stopping in front of the doors. “Big party at my dorm last night and I didn’t get to bed until late.”

Jared blinks smiling. “Oh so you attended the party?” he says adjusting his messenger bag on his shoulder and fidgeting with his keys attached to the zipper loop.

“No, just really loud and I fell asleep while reading my history assignment. I woke up and ran right over here.” Jared smiles at him, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve never been to a dorm party, the ones they throw at my dorm are on the lower floors and I don’t know anyone there so I don’t go.” He says not looking Jensen in the eye.

“You’re not missing much.” Jensen says with a reassuring voice.  
“I’d like to learn that for myself one day.”

The librarian unlocks the doors and smiles at Jared. “Hi Jared.” She says letting them inside. “You’re books are in, I put them back for you.” She says leading him over to the desk and handing them to him. He smiles at her. “Thanks Sharon. This is my friend Jensen.” She smiles and extends her hand. “Nice to meet you Jensen.” He takes her hand. “Same here Ma’am.”

They make their way back to the reference section of the Library to one of the long wooden tables along the wall way in the back of the room. Jared sits down pulling out his books and notebooks. He pushes a pen behind his ear before settling in. Jensen looks at him and smiles. He thinks about how even in the future Jared sets his laptop out, gets his notes aligned, and pushes his pen behind his ear before he starts to work.

“Some things never change.” Jensen mutters and Jared looks up at him. “What never changes?” Jensen stammers. “Uh, libraries with all the books in neat orderly fashions.” He nods his head and looks down with embarrassment. Jared just wrinkles his brow at him and gives a small huffing laugh before opening his book. “Yeah, libraries like their order with the whole dewy decimal system and all.” He shakes his head.

They sit for over an hour just doing their assignments barely speaking, trading glances once in a while or smiles and then going back to their studies.

Jared sneezes and reaches into his pocket for a tissue and grunts. “Dang.” Jensen looks over at him and pulls a hanky from his pocket handing it to him. “You always forget your tissues.” He shakes his head and looks back down at his book. Jared takes the hanky staring at Jensen with wide eyes mouth open.

“Uh, Jensen?” Jared asks brow knit, confused look on his face. “What?” Jensen says looking up from his book. “Umm, what do you mean I always forget my tissues?” Jensen’s eyes go wide, his heart starts to race, his mouth goes dry and he can’t think past the words _What do you mean I always._

“I… Uh….I, don’t know what I mean Jared.” His eyes sink down to his book at a loss for words, because how do you explain that you’ve known this person you just met for the past five years in the future. How do you begin to explain how much you love them, how much you miss them, need them and want them when they don’t even know who you are yet.

“Have you been watching me?” Jared says pushing away from the table, body tensing in a defensive manner.  
“Oh my God, no, I haven’t been watching you, I just met you Jared. Sandy introduced us two days ago remember? Before that I had never seen you on campus before.” He rubs the back of his neck sweat gathering on it.

“I don’t think we should, I mean…. I’m going now Jensen and don’t follow me.” Jared is packing up his books as quickly as he can.

Jensen doesn’t know what to do; he doesn’t know how to fix this so he blurts out. “Jared, I like you.” He stands to meet Jared’s eyes. “Don’t go.” He sighs. “I haven’t been watching you; I’ve been attracted to you since I first saw you two days ago. I called Sandy to ask her about you to find out if she knew what you liked so that I could ask you on a date. All she could tell me was that you liked Science, talked about Science all the time and had allergies in which you always forgot your tissues and told me to bring extras with me because you would need them.” Jensen sinks back down into his seat staring at his book, trying to look embarrassed, hoping that Jared would believe his story.

Jared sits back down, lays his messenger bag on the table and leans over rounding his broad shoulders. “You like me?” he asks in disbelief. Jensen looks up at him, smiling eyes twinkling. “Yes Jared, I like you a lot, have since the first second I saw you in that cafeteria.” That’s not a lie he thinks, because he did like Jared from the first time he saw him sitting eating his lunch all alone in the cafeteria.

Jared looks at Jensen and his eyes brighten, all the fear and defense leaving them. “I….” He stammers like he can’t say the words or just doesn’t know how to say them. “I… like you too.” A small smile curls in the corner of his mouth and it makes his whole face light up.

Jensen reaches across the table and touches Jared’s hand. “I’m hungry and I know this great little place to eat. I’m positive you’re going to like it, it’s called the cafeteria.” He smiles, fingers passing over Jared’s playfully and Jared smiles in return. “I have a better idea. There is this place in town that makes the best hamburgers you’ve ever eaten and my God they are as big as your head.” Jared holds his hands out and curves them into a circle form emphasizing the size. Jensen laughs at him. “Okay, head sized hamburgers it is.”

They walk across campus stopping at Jensen’s dorm to drop of their books before heading to the diner.

“Wow you have your own private room.” Jared says amazed.  
“Yeah but I didn’t always have my own room, I had my share of roommates from hell the last three years.” He shakes his head when he thinks about them. “I applied for my own room and got my doctor to write a letter to the Dean telling him that I was having panic attacks due to a nervous condition that was being exasperated by sharing a room with people I didn’t know. It worked because this year I live in peace.” Jensen spreads his arms out wide. “It’s all mine, mine, and mine.”

“I wonder if I could do that for next year because I don’t think I can take another roommate like Chad.” He rolls his eyes. “You know sometimes I can’t even sleep in my room because he brings girls back and kicks me out. I sleep on the sofa in the community room.” Jensen frowns. “Wow I never had that problem, the guys I roomed with would bring the girls back and just do them with me right in the room. Really disturbing stuff. If Chad throws you out again, come over here, I’ll at least give you my floor and you won’t be on public display in the community room.” Jared gives it a considering smile. “I might just take you up on that.”

Jensen smiles and thinks about what having Jared squeezed next to him in the tiny single bed would feel like. Their bodies flush against each other, heat pushing through their bodies as they caressed every inch of each other.

“Come on, I’m starving.” Jared says opening the door breaking Jensen from his thoughts.

They walk into town to the diner, it’s not far off campus, maybe a mile or so and Jensen recognizes it as they walk up to it. Jared smells the air. “MMMMM burgers and fries with ranch dressing.” He says mouth salivating. Jensen laughs. “How can you eat fries with Ranch dressing?” Jared shrugs. “Don’t know, I just like it.”

The waitress comes over to take their order and Jensen orders. “We’d like two of your classic cheeseburger platters with mustard, lettuce, tomato and onion. Oh, and his fries with ranch dressing.” He lays the menu down and Jared looks at him, brows arched. The waitress takes the menu and leaves. “I can’t order my own food?” Jared says a little bit surprised at the command Jensen is taking. “Oh, sorry I just thought, well we were having burgers and well sorry.” He says waving the waitress over. “No, no it’s ok, that’s the way I like my burger but next time I want to do my own ordering if it’s okay with you.” He says worrying his napkin between his thumb and forefinger. Jensen gives a half smile before reassuring Jared that his intentions were not to make him feel small. “Sure thing Jared, I won’t order for you ever again.”

Halfway through their burgers Jensen thinks about how much this is like their actual first date. How it’s the same diner, the same meal and he looks over at the glass dessert carousel, the pies slowly spinning in their refrigerated tube but no peach melba pie to be seen.

Jensen takes the check when the waitress puts it down. “My treat.” He says heading up to the register to pay the bill. Jared puts the tip on the table before going up and standing behind Jensen, reaching around and grabbing two peppermints and laying ten cents on the counter for them. He walks over to the door and looks across at the reflecting pond.

Jensen walks up behind him and Jared lifts a cellophane wrapped mint, offering it to him. “Thanks.” Jensen says unwrapping it and popping it in his mouth. “Want to go over and walk around the pond?” he says putting a hand on Jared’s shoulder.

Jared looks back at him. “Yeah, I would. Sometimes when I come here and the weather is nice, I go over and feed the ducks, read a book, or just stare out at the pond thinking about things.” Jensen looks at him and knows that no matter what age, Jared’s heart will always be Jared’s heart. “Then what are we waiting for?” Jensen pushes the door open and puts his hand on Jared’s back leading him out the door.

They walk around the pond, the ducks moving slowly through the cold black water and the fountain has been shut off in preparation for winter. Jared sits down on one of the wrought iron benches and scoots close to the arm. Jensen sits down next to the other arm. “You know I read they have concerts here in the spring. I think that would be fun to come sit on a blanket with snacks and listen to a band perform.” He glances over at Jensen gauging his response. “Sounds like a nice Sunday afternoon.” Jensen says looking back with a peaceful smile. “I have never been but I have seen them when I’ve been walking through town some Sunday afternoons.”

Jared glances down at Jensen’s hand resting on the bench and the way the sun catches his pale skin showing the pink undertones. He looks up into his eyes, the green glistening with gold flecks, the way the sun’s catching all of his freckles on the bridge of his nose and he smiles shyly at Jensen’s beauty.

Jensen watches Jared’s soft face, his dancing eyes smiling with the curve of his mouth. The way his bangs rest just above his brow line, straight and even, the edges of the sides curling up into the slightest wave soft and inviting. He wants to tuck his hair behind his ear and run his thumb over his high cheekbones down to his lips tracing the curve before leaning in and kissing him.

He inches his hand closer to Jared’s, snaking his fingers across the cold wrought iron spirals until he’s touching Jared’s wrist, slipping his fingers up and under the tight jacket cuff of his sleeve, caressing the tender thin flesh, warm and smooth.

They sit like this, barely entangled, only fingers touching soft flesh, stroking with hungry passion pushed just below the surface. The warm afternoon sun turning to a cooler early evening sun and they barely stir, fingers still pressed on Jared’s pulse, his want turning to need as Jensen moves his fingers ever so slightly tickling along the bumps of his veins.

The air turns cooler and a chill runs through Jensen. He moves closer to Jared, slipping his hand free, moving it down over the back of Jared’s hand, slipping his fingers between Jared’s and cupping the back of his hand, fingers wrapped under Jared’s palm and Jared squeezes back. They sit like this for a few minutes before Jared pulls away turning to Jensen. “It’s getting late.” His voice ragged, less jovial and more needy.

“Yeah.” Jensen sighs. “I guess we should go.” He says standing up and moving in front of Jared holding out his hand. Jared takes his hand, standing up next to Jensen, not letting go just changing the position of his hand to cup Jensen’s palm with his own and he drops his arm to his side between them. He looks deep into Jensen’s eyes giving him a knowing look as he licks his lips slowly, innocently, like he is giving away all of his darkest secrets just by holding Jensen’s hand.

They walk back to Jensen’s dorm holding hands all the way as Jared tells Jensen how he’s never had a boyfriend or girlfriend for that matter, how he has never kissed anyone except for a girl in grade school but actually she kissed him but it wasn’t nice. He told him how he didn’t like science or math until he was in high school when his older brother Jeff told him that nerds were cool and he should be as smart as possible to get the dates. Jensen listens intently as he prattles on in an almost nervous ramble.

They are walking up the stairs the sound of music blaring the closer they get to the third floor. Jensen looks back at Jared following him up the stairs. “Another party, can’t go through the weekend without at least one party in this place.” He rolls his eyes.  
“Sounds like fun.” Jared says a wicked smile spreading across his mouth as he arches an eyebrow and bites his lower lip as if asking if they can join in too. Jensen shakes his head, makes a loud sighing noise, and smiles as he reaches out for Jared’s hand. “Come on if you want to see what you’re missing.” He pushes the door open into the thrall of people crowding the hall, beers spilling slick wet spots on the tile, music so loud you can barely hear yourself think, and girls in half undress with their hips gyrating as they make spectacles of themselves for the boys lining the hallway walls and doorways of their rooms. It’s a sexual overload for Jared who’s staring in amazement at the ritual of need, want and over indulgence but he thinks he likes what he sees. He smiles wide taking everything in as Jensen leads him down the hall to his room.

Jensen pulls a gawking Jared into his room before shutting the door. Jared’s smile is huge, his eyes bright and wide with excitement. “Are all dorm parties like this, because the ones below me seem pretty low key, well, from what I have heard and seen through the stairwell doorway?” Jensen laughs. “No kid, this is a senior dorm, they are partying like it’s the last days on Earth because for them, well, it is. Last chance to get the whole college sex, party, and drunken experience before graduation, ya know.”  
“Wow, and me, a freshman attending a Senior Dorm party. Wow, is really all I can say.”  
“Enjoy it while it lasts, I’m not freaking your mind out any more than it has to be Jared cause you’re pretty impressionable right now.”  
“Shit Jensen I’m 18 years old, I’ve watched porn, I masturbate, I want something to drink.” Jared reaches for the door and Jensen stops him.  
“We know you can be headstrong Jared but come on you lose too much of your inhibitions when you’re drunk, I mean clothes start coming off.” Jared gives him a strange look. “I’ve never been drunk before.” He says stepping back from Jensen. “Jensen why are you talking like you’ve seen me drunk?” Jensen stammers. “Well… uh…. I’ve seen my share of drunken freshmen and it’s always the same… clothes start flying everywhere.” Jared furrows his brow. “Yeah. You know you’ve been saying things and doing things that make me think you know something or think you know something about me you couldn’t possibly know.” Jensen steps back. “Come on Jared how could I?” He says reaching for the door. “If you’re so intent on taking your clothes off in a drunken stupor I’m gonna get us both a beer, ok.” He says slipping out into the hallway.

Jared looks around the room, peeking in the desk drawers before flopping down on the bed. He smooths the comforter out and lies back, putting his head on Jensen’s pillow, staring up at the poster taped to the ceiling above the bed. He rolls on his side and opens the tiny drawer on the bedside stand finding a string of condoms and a bottle of lube before quickly closing it. He sits up and takes off his jacket throwing it over the desk chair.

Jensen steps inside the door two bottles of beer in each hand. “Refreshments.” He says holding them up while kicking the door shut with his foot. He sets two of the bottles on the desk and hands Jared one of the other ones. He sits down next to him on the bed, opens the bottle up and clanks the neck against Jared’s. “Cheers.” He takes a long swallow. Jared gulps at his bottle and Jensen laughs. “Hey you don’t need to drink it all at once.” Jared drops the bottle down and smiles. “Oh, I knew that.” He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“So, What do you do for fun?” Jared asks looking around the sparse room before picking up a remote. “Got any movies or anything?”  
Jensen rubs the back of his neck remembering that the only entertainment he has is of the pornographic nature. “No. I usually rent them when I’m in the mood to watch them. Really with studying and all this,” He gestures towards the hallway. “There isn’t much time for much else.”  
“Oh, I thought maybe you might have, well, you know.” Jared says looking down at the floor his fingers fiddling with the label on his beer bottle. Jensen breaks out into a laugh.  
“OH so you want Porn, do you.” He rubs at his elbow before nudging Jared’s shoulder with his. “Not drunk enough for that yet.” He says laughing. “You little horn dog.”  
Jared smiles shyly nudging Jensen back. “Nah.” He says quietly.

Jensen leans back on the bed his shirt rising up a little to expose his belly as he puts his hands behind his head to buffer it from the wall as he crosses his dangling feet at the ankle. “You know someone once told me that Porn is highly overrated, once you have the real thing.” He gives Jared a sideways glance. Jared looks at him his cheeks flush and takes another long swallow from his beer. “Yeah, I heard that too.” He says taking another long swig. Jensen watches his Adam’s apple bob under the up stretched skin of his neck, head tilted back as he swallows several times. “Yeah, he was right though, I miss him.” Jensen gets a faraway look in his eyes as he drinks his beer.

Jared’s done with his second beer, his checks are flush and he’s slightly tipsy when he takes Jensen’s from his hand and drinks from it. “Whoa there.” Jensen says taking the bottle back. “Want more, I can get you more but this one is mine.” He says setting it on the floor next to the foot of the bed. He shifts on his side and Jared is stretched out, full length of his lean thin body stretched lazily across his bed a silly grin painted on his face. “No, I got what I wanted from yours.” He says running his index finger over his lower lip as Jensen watches the seductive movement. “Yeah and what did my beer have that yours didn’t?”  
“Your taste,” Jared says looking dreamily into Jensen’s green eyes. “Hey, your eyes are the greenest green I’ve ever seen.” He says reaching up and touching the bridge of Jensen’s nose. “You know what else?” His statement is a bit slurred. “What?” Jensen muses. “You have freckles, everywhere.” He proceeds to touch each freckle across the bridge of Jensen’s nose and across his cheeks. Jensen leans into the warm soft touch as Jared’s fingertips dance across his face. “Oh and you even have them here.” Jared gives a slight squeal of glee before dancing his fingers across Jensen’s exposed belly. “I like your freckles.” He gushes taking his lower lip between his teeth, hazel eyes flashing with a hint of desire. Jensen gives a low giggle at the tickling sensations rushing across his skin. He takes Jared’s hand and holds it down flat to his belly. “You have a nice touch.” His voice low as his heart beats fast with nervous tension and he feels like a virgin all over again.

Jared leans back pulling his hand from under Jensen’s. He leans forward looking into Jensen’s eyes mesmerized by the green and lets his mouth slip over Jensen’s. His lips are soft and dry, the lightest touch of heat and he feels himself pull off quickly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.” He lowers his head in embarrassment.  
Jensen reaches up and touches Jared’s face, pulls it back up to meet his eyes. “Don’t be embarrassed. I liked it. I want to do it again, now.” He says pulling on Jared’s chin, angling his face to meet his mouth. Warm soft skin melts together, a slow slip of tongue along the pursed crease of Jared’s mouth and Jared shutters pushing harder against Jensen’s. Their mouths pushing tightly as Jared parts his lips to invite Jensen’s tongue inside letting it lick between the wet heat, the taste of beer still fresh on Jensen’s tongue and Jared relishes every wet swipe as he lets his tongue move lazily forward to touch Jensen’s. A slow tangle of tips brushing, swiping, licking at each other and Jared moans into Jensen’s mouth. Jensen reaches up and tangles his fingers through Jared’s hair holding his head tight to his as he pulls him down on top of himself, their chests laying flush against each other as their mouths grind and slip in a heated embrace.

Jared pulls loose from the kiss panting hard, his lips deep red from the crush of Jensen’s mouth. “MMMM, that was, nice, really nice. I’d say the best first kiss ever.” He rolls off Jensen, lying on his back, his hand resting on Jensen’s thigh as he tangles his ankle over Jensen’s slowly playing footsie with him as if they have all night to finish making out.

“You say the sweetest things.” Jensen says rolling over putting his head on Jared’s chest as he slips his fingers under Jared’s shirt to rest them on his hot bare skin and gives a very satisfied moan. “You always could make me feel like the world could stop and we’d never even notice it.” He sighs contentedly. Jared runs his fingers through Jensen’s hair wrapping his head around the words.

“Jensen?” Jared’s voice is shaky.  
“Huh?” Jensen says unaware of what he has just said. His eyes closed listening to Jared’s heartbeat dance rhythmically in his chest.  
“Why do you say these things to me? Like we were lovers, like you know me?” He starts to wriggle against Jensen in an attempt to move away.  
Jensen sits up startled. He looks into Jared’s eyes with all the honesty he can muster. “Don’t be afraid, please don’t be afraid.” Jensen sits up on the bed and puts his head in his hands, breathes in deep. Jared is moving off the bed fearing that his first kiss was with an insane man. “I’m not afraid Jensen.” He says his voice cracking as he slowly reaches for his jacket.  
Jensen turns to him tears in his eyes. “I do know you Jared.” He says in a pleading voice.  
“But why do you think this?” Jared says holding his jacket on his lap making no sudden movements.  
“I know you because.” He sighs deeply, his voice cracking, tears rolling down his cheeks. “You’re not going to believe me. I’m sorry I got you involved in this.” He says heart breaking into a million pieces. He reaches for Jared but he pulls away like the connection just a few minutes ago never happened. “Jared please listen to me. Don’t just listen to me, hear what I’m saying to you and know that it’s the truth.” He stands up, paces back and forth as Jared watches with one eye on Jensen and one on the door. “Go ahead, I’m listening, I’ll hear you.” He says lump in his throat.

“I know you because.” He takes a deep breath, sits down across from Jared in the desk chair and looks him directly in the eyes. “It all starts in the year 2005 in the University cafeteria when I sit down with you and we have lunch together.” He sees confusion in Jared’s face but continues on. “See, I have this ability, I can…. move through time, slip around and relive things, experience things over again. I know this sounds crazy, trust me I thought I was crazy for years. It started on my thirteenth birthday and I used it for years but when I met you, I stopped because I didn’t need it anymore, I was happy, things were good, nothing needed changing but then just a few days ago… I did it again for the first time in five years. I didn’t mean to come so far back, I only wanted to move back a few weeks but I woke up here in the year 2000… again. See in the Future we are in a relationship, by the year 2010 we’ve been in it for five years, we are in love, well, actually we married each other in 2007. We have a house, well it was my house but it’s ours now. I’m actually 32yrs old and now I’m stuck inside my 22year old body reliving my senior year of college for some reason and I don’t know why.” Jared’s eyes are wide, his brain unable to comprehend what is being thrown at him in a jumbled mess, words from a mad man.  
“Wait, hold on a minute.” Jared interrupts. “You want me to believe that in what, ten years from now we are fucking married with a house.” He stands up and puts his hands to his head squeezing the sides of it. “I mean Jensen, if you’re trying to hit on me to get me to sleep with you, this isn’t the way. Before you opened your mouth with this tall tale I would have but now. I mean you’re fucking crazy man.” He drops his arms and heads for the door.

“I don’t know how to prove it to you. I’ve been trying to get back through time back to you in the future, every day I try, but every day I fail. I’m here… stuck in this time again. But this time everything is different. I met you here and now for the first time I can’t slip in and out like I did before; I’m getting to know you all over again as Jared the 18yr old boy not the 23yr old man who was still a virgin, never been kissed and socially awkward.” Jensen stands up, rubs the back of his neck, strokes his temples. “I don’t understand it Jared, I don’t know why but I’m just trying to find that connection with you again because damn it I still love you with all my heart but now, I don’t know, I think I’m actually falling in love with you all over again and it’s scary and new. And Fuck.”

Jared stares at Jensen with his mouth open and he can’t, he won’t and doesn’t believe what he’s hearing. “You’re crazy. I don’t know what else to call it Jensen. You need help; you can’t prove anything to me because there is nothing to prove. I know damned well when I’m 23 I won’t still be a virgin and who are you to tell me I’m socially awkward. And Married, Married…. how can you say something like that to me, it’s just….. Mean.” He turns to leave looks back and screams at Jensen as he pulls the door open “You’re a fucker!” The words tear from his lips like blades cutting through the air.

Jensen reaches for him. “No please Jared, please.” He begs as Jared disappears down the hallway through the crowd of people. He closes the door and sinks against it, his body limp and boneless with the loss he feels in his heart.

He lies on the floor for what seems like hours, the music dies off, people knock at his door but he just lies there unable to move or speak. His brain is full of things he wants to say to Jared, wants him to know but he won’t listen, he doesn’t want to hear the ramblings of a mad man and why should he, what proof can he offer Jared that he isn’t a mad man.

Jensen stops trying to slip back to Jared in the future because he knows the future he had with Jared is gone. He knows everything that has happened here has impacted what he will jump back to and he doesn’t want a future without the love he has known there.

Everyday Jensen walks past Jared’s dorm, he stares at it in the early hours of the morning hoping but knowing even if he sees him it will only break his heart into another million pieces.

He avoids the cafeteria and eats alone in his dorm room, he doesn’t want to see him or Sandy for that matter because, well, he is sure that Jared told her everything about how insane he is and he just can’t face that.

[Chapter 6](http://j2-ficwhore.livejournal.com/6394.html)


	6. Part 6 A timeless connection J2 bigbang

[ ](http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a348/Dolavine/?action=view&current=string-theory-divider_1.jpg)

It’s been two weeks and he has successfully avoided Jared no matter how hard he has actually tried to see him from afar, his attempts unsuccessful. Jensen is sitting at his desk as he hears people talking in the hall. He hears the sound of metal clanging and ice being poured into metal barrels. He knows what is coming; its Friday night again after all and there is going to be a serious party outside his room.

Jensen opens his door and looks out to see Aldis and Chris filling the barrels with beer bottles and cans. Chris looks up. “Hey Dude.” He pushes at Aldis. “It’s that hermit who lives across the hall from us, what’s his name.” Aldis laughs. “Um… Jensen, I think.” He says laughing. “Very funny guys.” Jensen says stepping out into the hallway. “Need any help?” He grabs a case of beer cans and starts to open it. “Always.” Aldis says smacking Jensen’s ass as he turns to start filling the other barrel. “Hey, off limits.” Jensen says shaking it at him. “Until I’m good and drunk and then… well, it’s fair game.” He laughs and Aldis raises an eyebrow. “Will someone pass this man a beer?”

Jensen changes into something more party worthy. He picks out his favorite black t-shirt with the Led Zeppelin transfer on it and a pair of faded 501 blues. He musses up his short hair with mousse and puts on his hemp necklace with the one single blue bead in the center. He winks at himself in the mirror then points his finger at himself like a gun and clicks his cheek. _**Time to get’em tiger.**_ he says to his reflection.

He opens his door to the loud pulsing music and bops out the door looking up and down the hall which is starting to fill up with people. He grabs a beer and settles against the wall outside of his door trying to look super cool and interesting. Several girls engage him in conversation and flirt with him but he just keeps it casual.

Jensen is on his fourth beer and is having a few shots of Tequila with Aldis who has him secluded in a corner by the fire exit at the far end of the hallway. He keeps leaning in brushing shoulders as he talks into Jensen’s ear. Jensen feels a bit uncomfortable but then again Aldis isn’t a bad looking guy but he feels weird like he would be cheating on Jared and then it all snaps into place. He won’t be cheating on Jared and his heart sinks just as Aldis puts his hand on Jensen’s chest and leans in tight whispering in his ear. “Another shot before we go back to your room.” Jensen looks at him and swallows hard. He’s not pulling any punches about what he wants and Jensen isn’t sure what he wants to do, thinks about Jared walking down the hallway away from him and takes Aldis’s forearm. “No, I’m ready now.” He says turning and heading down the hallway, Aldis following close behind him.

Jensen goes into his room and stands next to the bed. Aldis enters and stops in the doorway looking at how Jensen is standing next to the bed toeing his sneakers off calves touching the edge of the bed and he rubs his hands over his thighs. Jensen pulls his t-shirt up above his waist giving Aldis a preview. “Shut the door and turn the latch honey.” He says coyly catching his bottom lip between his teeth. Aldis obeys.

Jensen sits on the edge of the bed and leans back on his elbows looking up at Aldis standing there pulling his shirt off ,exposing the dark flesh of his long lean body, his muscular abdomen rippling with his movements. Jensen’s breath quickens at the beauty of his sinuous muscles gleaming in the low light of the room. Aldis sits down on the edge of the bed kicking off his shoes as he leans back, his face turned to Jensen’s. He runs his thumb over Jensen’s cheek touching the thick line of freckles just below his eyes. “You don’t have any clue how long I’ve been watching you, wanting you, seeing you bring all those pretty white boys in here and wanting to know what you were doing to them to make them keep coming back over and over again.” Aldis’s voice is low and soft with a tinge of gravel deep in his throat. He looks deep into Jensen’s eyes. “They’re so green, so gorgeous and I want them to look at me like they look at all those others when that door is closed.” He leans forward and kisses Jensen’s warm lips, the soft flesh giving with his touch as he positions himself closer almost looming over Jensen as Jensen leans back against the bed their bodies touching, the hot flesh of their bellies molding together and Jensen reaches up to run his hand down Aldis’ bare back feeling the hard muscles under tender dark flesh. His fingertips dance lightly down his spine and all he can imagine is how his hot mouth is going to feel on his cock that is now pressing against his tight jeans.

Aldis moves his mouth down over Jensen’s jaw to his neck where he licks and sucks at the tender flesh admiring the pink circles he’s making across his collar bone. “MMM so sexy.” He murmurs into Jensen’s neck. Jensen tilts his head back giving him more skin as he grinds his pelvis hard into Aldis’ thigh.

Aldis shifts and rolls on his back popping the button on his jeans before slipping them down and kicking them off. Jensen marvels in the long expanse of body splayed out next to him. Aldis runs his fingers under Jensen’s waistband tugging at the button, slipping the zipper down and setting Jensen’s hard cock free. He plays with the head, his smile wide, and he looks into Jensen’s eyes. “I never imagined it like this Jensen, so sensual.” Jensen slips his hand around Aldis’s stiff cock, feeling the heat and weight of it as he tilts it sideways for a better grip. Aldis moans at the gentle touch and Jensen leans over covering his mouth, slipping his tongue inside,sliding across the wet pink flesh and then over moist lips as he retracts back into his own mouth letting his lips work tenderly at Aldis’ mouth. He pulls into Aldis’ body clinging to him, feeling all the heat and want, everything he wants to be feeling with Jared. Their hearts thrashing in their chests with all the desire, the touch of lips, hands grasping tight, fingers splayed out over hot skin as they work their way up the bed, bodies stretched out against each other, hands working in timed motion, the soft glide of cotton sheets under Jensen and he can feel the weight of Aldis shift completely down on him and he grunts, a surging passionate heat burning their skin as their mouths never lose contact slick slide of tongues deep and needy. Naked, wanton flesh pressed so tightly together, sweat slicking need as hips gyrate and bang into each other in uncoordinated passion and Jensen wants this to be Jared. He remembers what this feels like with Jared. He pants hard into Aldis’s mouth, breathy words he should only be speaking for Jared. His hand slides down Aldis’s back into the curve just above his ass and he remembers that dip, that curvature that swoops with every thrust as Jared stares down into his face his length smooth on his body, sweat dripping from his chin as he thrusts in and out of Jensen’s body making fireworks of pleasure surge hard and explode bright and powerful and this feeling is only for Jared, only with Jared.

Aldis looks down into Jensen’s eyes as he pulls soft languishing strokes over his hard dick. “What do you want me to do to you Jensen?” He whispers, his dark eyes blown black with need and desire. Jensen doesn’t think before his mouth is moving with words flowing out before he can stop them. “I want you to be Jared.” He pushes Aldis off of him, breaking their connection and grabs the pillow covering his fading erection as he jumps to his feet. Aldis looks confused as he reaches for Jensen. “Did I do something wrong?” His voice urgent and sad, brow furrowed in confusion. “No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me Aldis, all me, I can’t I… just can’t do this I’m in love with someone else.” He turns and looks out the window across the dark courtyard searching for Jared’s dorm in the dark barely lit din of the night.

Aldis stands up, steps behind him and puts his hands on his shoulders whispering into his ear. “There isn’t love in this space between us, just desire and sex Jensen.” He runs his fingers over his shoulders down his arms to his hands and tugs at them. “Come back to bed, I’ll make you feel so good.” Jensen sighs. “The problem is there’s no love between us Aldis. I don’t want to just feel good. I want Jared, I want love, and I need forever in his eyes.” A tear falls down Jensen’s cheek, the lamplight catching it as it glistens against his pale skin. Aldis squeezes Jensen’s hand, pulls him towards the bed. “Let me get you off Jensen, just let’s get each other off and we can call it a night. Please.” He says his hand stroking his own cock trying to pull Jensen down on the bed with him. “Not tonight, not any night Aldis. Just jack yourself off and go. Tell them anything you want, I don’t care if you make me sound like the biggest slut you ever slept with to cover your reputation just don’t be here when I get back.” He picks up his pants, slips them on, pushes his bare feet into his shoes, and grabs his shirt before leaving the room, abandoning Aldis on his bed.

Jensen pushes through the throng of people lining the hallway, grabs a couple beers and the bottle of tequila before he opens the door to the stairwell, stumbling down in a heated frenzy, tears on the edge of his emotions as he bursts out the double doors into the cold night, bottles clanking against him as he breaks into a dead run sprinting across the damp slick grass of the courtyard.

He falls against a tree on the edge of the duck pond across from the science building, his hands shaking as he slides down the rough bark dropping a beer and the tequila bottle on the ground as he twists off the cap of the other beer bottle. He throws the cap into the pond before tilting his head back and downing half of the bottle in several hard gulps, he pulls the bottle from his lips panting, swiping the wet from his mouth with the back of his hand before pulling his knees up to his chest, cradling his beer bottle next to his chest and sobbing uncontrollably, Jared the word on his lips as they quiver uncontrollably.

He finishes his beer and pops the other one open making quick waste of it too, tossing the bottle at the science building, cursing the day he met Jared, the day he wanted to help him, the day he stopped slipping, and the day he started to slip again. He wants to be angry, he wants to feel anger instead of pain but it’s all so twisted up inside, so tangled with the love, admiration, and desire that he can’t tell where one emotion starts and one ends. He twists the cap off of the half empty bottle of tequila drinking a long swig, gagging on the bitter poisonous taste as he swallows it. He wonders if he can drink enough to forget, to pass out right here on the wet grass against this tree that Jared has to pass every day on his way to lab in the morning. He wonders if he would even bother to come over and see if he was alive or dead. The chill in the air rushes across him and he stands up, stumbles across to the path and follows it to Jared’s dorm and stands outside on the lawn staring up at the windows wondering which one is his or is he on the other side. He thinks about yelling Padalecki into the night air, or something even cheesier like holding up a boom box playing Sunshine by The All American-Rejects until he comes to the window or doors and looks out, the only problem is that the song and the band don’t even exist yet and he hates the movie Say anything for the cheesy boom box scene alone.

He stumbles backwards falling against the bench next to the pathway jolting himself and spilling his tequila. _Wonderful, just wonderful._ He sputters out, his words starting to slur from the copious amount of alcohol he’s consumed.

He slumps over tipping the bottle to his lips again the taste still bitter in his mouth and he thinks he deserves it, a bad taste for what he did to Jared. _Why didn’t I wait, why did I spill everything to him like that. No wonder he thinks I’m a mad man, what proof did I have?_ He’s talking to himself, gesturing with his hands, tilting and sloshing the liquor on the ground when he sees a piece of brown paper bag following the cool breeze and he puts his foot on it, an idea hitting him like a thunderbolt and he drops his bottle on the ground as he picks up the piece of paper. He pokes his hand in his jean pockets looking for a pen, pencil, or crayon, anything to write with but nothing. He looks around on the ground but nothing to write with. He sees a couple walking across the lawn and he calls out in a drunken slur as he quickly staggers across the lawn to them.

“Hey, could you help a love stricken guy out here?” He says his words running together as his thick tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth. They start to walk away but he pleads with them. “Do you have a pen or pencil?” He says begging. “I need it really bad right now, want to compose a sonnet to my love and take it to his room. Please help a guy would you.” The girl laughs at him and pulls a pen from her purse and hands it to him. “I hope he appreciates it buddy.” She says as they walk away. Jensen calls to them. “Thanks I’ll get this back to you.”

He staggers back to the bench and leans on his knee and begins writing the lyrics to Jared’s favorite song; Sunshine by The All American-Rejects.  


**__  
It's a new day  
It's a bright day  
Even when you stand in the dark  
It's just that  
You've been broken into fifty pieces  
Today is gone  
I'm the only light that you see  
You need someone  
I know all you needed was me**

**Everyday we awake if it takes too long  
Just tell me something new  
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone**

**Another pale moon  
Shines like high noon  
Midnight never felt so cold alone  
It's just that you're uneasy  
When you need me  
Today is gone  
I'm the only light that you see  
You need someone  
I know all you needed was me**

**Everyday we awake if it takes too long  
Just tell me something new  
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone  
You can say it's right, but it feels so wrong  
Just show me something true  
Forget about the sunshine  
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone**

**Today is gone  
I'm the only light that you see  
You need someone  
I know all you needed was me**

**Everyday we awake if it takes too long  
Just tell me something new  
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone  
You can think it's right, but it feels so wrong  
Just show me something true  
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone**

**Everyday we wake if it takes too long  
Just tell me something new  
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone  
You can think it's right, but it feels so wrong  
Just show me something true  
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone**

**You can think it's right, but it feels so wrong  
Just show me something true  
Forget about the sunshine  
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone  
**

  
This is your favorite song Jared, it’s Sunshine by the All American Rejects and you love it, have it on your iPod playlist three times back to back. You love to listen to it when you’re running with the dogs Sadie and Harley. I know you think I’m crazy, hell I might be crazy for all I know but in case I’m not, you have to listen to me.

Tuesday at about 4pm or a little after, I really can’t remember the exact time as it was 10yrs ago, in front of the library there is a couple sitting on the lawn having a picnic, it’s raining out and looks really weird to everyone, people are looking at them and he jumps up and yells that they are having a baby and then he proposes right there in front of everyone crossing campus. There is a punk girl with purple hair who yells hell yeah and pumps her fist in the air as she walks by and a professor with a blue and pink umbrella walking down the library steps, I think it is professor Wilkins from the Lit department, he stops at the bottom of the steps and lights a half smoked cigar and I’m or I was standing on the path beside the couple and start clapping for them. I won’t be there, I’ll make sure of it but I hope you stand where I said I was standing, you’ll know where cause the couple will be picnicking next to the path in front of the oak tree. This is the proof I’m offering you. It’s going to be raining so take your umbrella. If you want to seek me out after that I’ll be in my dorm room waiting, if you don’t show up I’ll know you didn’t go and you don’t care and still think I’m crazy. Jensen

Jensen folds the paper in half and pushes the pen in his pocket; he picks up his tequila and swallows down several gulps for courage before throwing it backwards on the ground as he walks up the cement steps to the double doors of Jared’s dorm.

He walks in and looks at the row of mailboxes with numbers all over them but no names, he composes himself and staggers into the main hall and back to the community room where several people are watching television on the couch. “Excuse me?” He says and they look at him. “But could you tell me where the little skinny guy Jared Padalecki’s room is?” He sways, his words slurring as he holds himself steady with the doorjamb. They look at him and laugh. “No Dude, who are you look’n for?” one guy says. “A skinny tall kid with brown moppy hair named Jared Padalecki.” He gestures by messing up his hair and putting his hand at this tall signal. The guys laugh at him. “No dude I don’t know him.” Jensen staggers away and climbs the stairs to the first floor pulling the door open and staggering down the hall. He looks in all the rooms with open doors calling Jared’s name and one guy comes out of his room, Jensen stops him. “Hey do you know where Jared Padalecki’s room is?” The guy waves a hand in front of his nose. “Dude have you been hitting the tequila?” Jensen smiles and then snorts. “Yes but that’s not what I want to know, where is Jared Padalecki’s room.” The guy shakes his head. “I don’t know him, does he have a roommate?” Jensen sways falling into the wall and lifts his index finger into the air. “Yes, his name is Chad, he kicks Jared out when he brings girls back to the room.” He leans into the guy’s ear and whispers, “he’s a real douche.” He then leans back out and continues. “He makes Jared sleep down in the community room a few times a week.”  
“Oh you mean Chad Murray’s skinny, tall, anti social roommate. Oh yeah they are on the fourth floor room 402 I think, in the back.” Jensen sways putting an arm around the man to clap him on the back. “Thanks buddy, I own you one.” He winks at the man and heads to the stairwell again.

He climbs to the fourth floor and staggers down the hall looking at all the numbers on the doors, peeking in open doors, until he finds 402. He stands in front of it for what seems like hours listening for sounds inside, any sound that Jared might be awake and moving around but nothing so he decides he can’t knock, can’t see him, so he slides the paper under the door, leans his head on it and whispers. _I’ll be waiting Jared._ Before he heads back to his dorm room.

He gets back to his room, the halls empty, the music gone and he hopes that Aldis isn’t sitting on his bed waiting for him when he opens the door. He turns the knob and takes a deep breath before opening the door but his room is empty, no one on the bed and he breathes a sigh of relief. He lumbers over to the bed, falls face down on it, the room spinning, his head buzzing and he covers his face with the pillow before passing out.

*****

Jared is woken up yet again by Chad as he thumps him with a pillow laughing and yelling in his face. “Get up Weasel, get up.” He yells at him in a drunken slur. Jared sits up and rubs his eyes, seeing Chad and some no named girl in a short skirt with bleached blonde hair, he reaches behind himself to grab his pillow and blanket before heading out the door. He slides his feet into his shoes and starts out the door when Chad stops him. “Wait Weasel.” He throws a piece of wrinkled up paper at him his name scrawled on the front of it. “It’s a love note from some douche Jensen or some gay twitwad name like that.” He then shoves him out the door, the girl giggling and he slams it shut behind him.

Jared makes his way to the community room and settles in on the sofa, holding the crumpled up piece of paper in his hand. He thinks about throwing it away because he doesn’t want to read what Jensen has to say. He worries it between his fingers, flipping it over and over, then smoothing it out on his knee but not unfolding it, not daring to look at the black inked words teasing him by faintly bleeding through the other side.

He puts his hand behind his head and stares at the paper resting on his knee, weighing the pros and cons of reading it. _Just because I read it doesn’t mean I have to believe it. He will never know if I read it. What can reading it hurt, the best I can get out of it is a good laugh. I’m reading it. No, he doesn’t have anything to say I want to hear. No I’m reading it._ He goes back and forth in his mind taking the paper, staring to unfold it and then settling it back on his knee again continuing the ritual before he finally takes it from his knee, smoothes it out over his palm, and opens it. He stares at the small scratching of words written out like a poem letting them fill his brain as he wonders what they mean. He reads the first line of the letter addressed directly to him and folds it back up, ponders them, his lip quivering with fear. He then opens it back up again curious at what else Jensen is claiming he knows about him in the _“future”_. He reads the words, the directions, description of Tuesday at 4pm in front of the library. He wonders why he would say this, why he would say these things that he can’t control like the weather. What if it is raining on Tuesday, what if it isn’t. What does he gain by telling him these things? Jared holds the note close to his chest before he proceeds to read the last lines about Jensen not being there but he will be waiting in his room if Jared wants to see him. If he wants to go and see if what he says is true and wants to talk to him about it.

Jared folds the paper in half, tucks it into the pocket in his pajama bottoms but he can’t sleep, all he does is think all night about what it says, he even takes it out a few more times and rereads it, the song lyrics being burned into his brain and he thinks about the names of the dogs Sadie and Harley. He feels anticipation at the thought of waiting until Tuesday, 4 whole days away but he’s not even sure if he is going to go but he has an option and why would Jensen say these things that might make him look even more insane than he already is. He has a decision to make by Tuesday morning and it all depends on Mother Nature at this point.

Jensen wakes up, his head pounding, the night before a bit blurry but he remembers two things clearly. He almost slept with his neighbor Aldis Hodge and he wrote Jared a letter with some kind of proof that he knows the future of Tuesday along with song lyrics. He rubs his head and vows that tequila is not his friend before running out the door to the bathroom.

He finishes vomiting for the past 20minutes and knows there is no way there is anything left in his stomach to come up. He crawls over to the sink pulling himself up and washes his face with cold water. He looks in the mirror seeing Aldis standing behind him coming out of the shower room.

Aldis looks at him and turns away a disgusted look on his face, but Jensen calls after. “Hey Aldis.” Aldis looks back at him with annoyance. “Look Jensen you don’t need to say anything to me.” Jensen leans against the sink for support his head pounding. “I… really… I seriously don’t remember much about last night other than we almost fucked and then…. I left you naked on my bed while I ran out to.. well, I don’t really know what I wanted to accomplish last night. All I know is what I did to you… it wasn’t right, but sleeping with you would have been far worse, for me anyway.” Aldis shrugs his shoulders. “You know, I’ve watched you taking guys back to your room from the parties for awhile now. Like 2yrs of watching you whore yourself out to the prettiest boys at the parties and they kept coming back for more Jensen Ackles and you kept giving them more. I always wanted to know what was so great about Jensen Ackles, so last night I saw my opportunity and I took it. When you were kissing me it was like I was the only man on the Earth, like you wanted me more than anything else and that made me want you more than anything or anyone else. I was so wrapped up in you Jensen, so caught up in what you were giving me, letting me do to you and I didn’t even care when you pulled off me told me you loved someone else. I just wanted the great Jensen Ackles to take me into his web and have his way with me, just once before I wouldn’t have the chance again.”  
“I’m so sorry.” Aldis stops him. “No Jensen, you know what Chris helped me to realize last night?” Jensen looks at him mournfully. “What?” “He helped me realize that you’re not the great Jensen Ackles, you’re just a man like every other man and fucking you or not fucking you is no loss because I don’t love you and you don’t love me.” He then turns and leaves before Jensen can react to his words.

*****

Jared spends Saturday at the campus Library doing research and studying for his Biology test on Monday. He looks at the door every time he hears it opening. The Library is empty on Saturday mornings and he kind of wonders if he’ll see Jensen but maybe he won’t, maybe he doesn’t really want to see him. He pulls the note out from his sweatshirt pocket still folded in half, his name bolded in black ink across the front, the wrinkles now waxen with oils from how many times he’s smoothed it out and stared at it. He’s not sure why he is even entertaining the thought of following its instructions, why he even cares what Jensen says but he is intrigued by the fact that he wrote this song down, this nonexistent song that is supposedly his favorite on his iPod and he claims it will be raining on Tuesday. He rubs his fingers along the edges of the paper thinking about how there is no way Jensen can control the weather so if it doesn’t rain how would he explain being wrong. He stuffs the paper back into his pocket and tries to concentrate on his studies because Tuesday is too far away from today and he has bigger things on his mind.

*****

Jensen spends Saturday in bed nursing his hangover. He replays his drunken actions over and over in his head, regretting Aldis and how he must have hurt him or he wouldn’t have needed to talk to Chris about it. He rubs his hand over his face and groans. _He talked to fucking Chris about it._

He thinks about sliding that piece of ripped paper bag under Jared’s door, with the proclamation that Jared loves the song Sunshine and that he is using the actions and weather of Tuesday to prove to him that he has been here before and can jump through time. Well, he could jump through time.

He pulls the covers up over his head and moans into his pillow. _How did I let things get so fucked up?_

Sunday he spends the day catching up on his assignments and sleeping. He hears yelling and cheering in the hallway as Chris and Aldis have other people in their room to watch the football game but understands why he wasn’t invited this time and it’s okay with him because he needs to keep his mind preoccupied with his schoolwork.

Around 2pm his stomach starts to growl and he opens his little refrigerator but it’s empty all but some spoiled milk and a half eaten egg salad sandwich which he is pretty sure wasn’t green when he put it in there a few days ago. He rummages through his desk drawers where he keeps his really good snacking items but all he finds is a single snack size bag of cool ranch Doritos with one chip left in the bag. He eats it begrudgingly; it’s horribly stale and tastes like old cooking fat.

He slips on his coat and decides that he’s leaving the sanctuary of his room for some food. He grabs the book he’s reading for his lit class, tucks it under his arm and heads out the door. He looks across at Chris and Aldis’ room, and he can see it’s packed full with other dorm mates crowded in on folding chairs, across the beds or standing yelling at the game. Aldis looks up and sees Jensen leaving. He waves at him, lifts his beer in a friendly want one gesture but Jensen just waves and shakes his head no before heading down the hall to the Exit.

It’s a cold October day, the air is damp and the skies are covered with dark clouds looming overhead. He tucks his hands in his jacket pockets to keep them warm, his breath visible when he exhales through his mouth and his hair damp with the light mist hanging in the air. He makes his way to the student union passing Jared’s dorm on the way and he looks up always hoping to see him coming out or going in but as usual he doesn’t.

*****

Jared settles in with a cold lunchmeat sandwich from the vending machine and a pack of stale potato chips and chocolate milk. He opens his Chemistry book and lays it beside him on the yellow topped table of the Student Union Community Lounge. He takes a bite of the dry sandwich wincing at the stale taste but he needs sustenance, it’s too cold to walk to the diner and the cafeteria is closed on Sundays. He tucks his highlighter pen behind his ear settling in for his study session.

*****

Jensen rolls his eyes at the big black letters **_CLOSED_** on the white sign hanging outside of the cafeteria. He then remembers it’s closed on Sundays before heading down the hall to the vending machines in the Community Lounge.

He pulls the wooden double doors open, there are a few people at the tables eating vending machine food and he sees Jared, his back to the doors, a book open and he doesn’t seem to see Jensen. Jensen’s heart sinks to his stomach. He wants to go over and ask if he got his note, if he read it, and how nuts does he still think he is? But he can’t, his feet won’t let him, he just sighs and goes over to the vending machine. He scans the sparse selection left in the machine and decides on the French bread pizza. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out his money but all he has is a five and there is no change machine. He stuffs the money back into his pocket and is heading out the door when he looks over to see Jared watching him. He smiles at him and Jared nods his head in a knowing manner. Jensen blinks, his heart like a heavy weight in his chest and he feels himself moving towards Jared before he can stop himself.

Jared shifts uncomfortably in his seat as he watches Jensen move towards him, his palms are sweating and he wants to jump up and run away but he can’t, his feet won’t let him move so he just sits there watching him get closer and closer until he’s standing right in front of him.

“Hey.” Jensen says looking down at Jared a half hearted smile across his lips the feeling of fear and being so totally unsure if this is the right thing to do or not running ramped in his brain.

“Hey.” Jared says heart racing, palms sweatier than before and he rubs them down over his light gray slacks. “Have a seat.” He points to the empty seat beside him, his mouth moving before his brain has a chance to catch up and rationally stop him.

Jensen pulls the chair out and sits down. He feels awkward and so totally unsure of himself. He rubs the back of his neck and fingers at the page of Jared’s book. “Chemistry huh?” He looks up into Jared’s eyes hoping for a glimpse of reassurance that he doesn’t still think he’s nuts but all he sees is wonderment.

“Yeah.” Jared says pushing his sandwich to the side and fiddling with the chip bag. “I hate it but it’s a science requirement and I wanted to get it over with.”

“Yeah, Chemistry sucks. I only took a science because it’s a graduation requirement; I really don’t need one for my major.

“What are you majoring in?” Jared says his voice a little stern with the question.

“I’m majoring in Sociology.” He says picking at the edge of the table like a shy little kid being chastised by an adult.

“Cool.”

“Yeah I think so.” Jensen pushes the chair back. “I better go; I have to get something to eat and no change for the machines. I think I’ll head over to Subway and get a sub.” He stands up and turns to leave.

Jared watches him leave, puts his hand in his pocket, feels the note, he has some questions he wants answered and calls after Jensen. “Hey, want some company?” He says stuffing his books into his messenger bag.

Jensen turns and looks at him surprised. “Yeah, sure.” Jared catches up and walks next to him as they exit the building.

The sun is peeking through the dark clouds; the misty air is drier as they walk across campus into town. Neither speaks a word as they walk. Jensen looks at Jared with a sideways glance as they reach the main street just off the campus. Jared has a pensive look on his face like he wants to say something but can’t and Jensen sighs, his heart sore with each beat.

They walk across the street, past the post office and down the main shopping area to the Subway shop; Jensen holds the door open for Jared.

They study the menu and Jared orders a meatball sub with everything, Jensen gets the BMT with everything but jalapeños. They sit in a booth next to the window and Jensen shakes his head and picks a jalapeño off of his sandwich. Jared licks his lips. “Mind if I take that?” He asks reaching for it. Jensen laughs. “No, be my guest.” He thinks back to how Jared loves Jalapenos or really anything super hot, must be his San Antonio upbringing he always thought. Jared takes the pepper and pops it in his mouth with a smile making yummy noises. “Always reminds me of home.” He says before adding “That’s.” and Jensen says it in unison with him. “San Antonio Texas.” Same sing songy rhythm and tone as Jared. Jared stops chewing and looks at Jensen. “Yeah.” He says with a wary sound in his voice. Jared looks down at his sandwich and thinks about the paper folded neatly in his pocket but decides to take a bite of his sub first.

Jensen studies his sandwich before looking over at Jared. “Look Jared, I know you didn’t come here because you enjoy my company. I’m wondering why you did come here with me, is it because I put that note under your door Friday night?” He rubs the back of his neck and looks back down at his sandwich nervously.

Jared reaches in his pocket and pulls the scrap of paper out, unfolds it carefully and lays it on the table between them. “Actually I do have a lot of questions for you.” He says very sure of himself pointing to the song. “This song that I supposedly love so much. Why do I love it?” He says looking into Jensen’s eyes. Jensen swallows hard. “Why Jared, Why put me through this when I know you don’t believe me.” He stares at the note, Jared’s finger still resting next to the lyrics. “Because Jensen, I want to know why I love this song so much, does it have meaning for me; does it have a meaning for… us?” Jensen sighs deep, his hands are sweating and he has lost his appetite. “Do you really want to know why you like that damned song so much?” He says with a tinge of anger. Jared taps his finger next to the lines on the paper. “Yes Jensen, I do.” Jensen leans forward. “See that line right there.” He puts his finger next the lyrics _**Every day we awake if it takes too long Just tell me something new Forget about the sunshine when it's gone.**_  
Jared looks at the lyrics. “Yeah, so?” He looks back at Jensen. “Those lyrics make you think of all the possibilities that life has to offer, how they slip away in the blink of an eye if you don’t go for them. They make you think about how you are always searching for the Something New out there, that undiscovered thing that we overlook that plays a big part in our lives and what if feels like when you finally do discover it. Hell you live those lyrics with your job, always looking for that new theory that breaks all of the preconceived notions from before.” Jensen runs his fingers over the smeared ink and smiles mournfully.

Jared looks up from the paper. “And what Job would that be, what do I do that would allow me to use some song lyrics?” “You’re a Theoretical Physicist Jared.” “But I’m a Biology major.” “Yeah, well, you change it.” Jared shakes his head in disbelief. “I hate physics.” Jensen smiles at him his right brow arched high. “No, you hate chemistry. Biology and Math are your strong points and when you finally do decide to change your major to Theoretical Physics you’re going to find that piece that you think is missing from your life.”

Jared looks out the window and then looks back at the piece of paper and puts his finger on the dog’s names. “I have dogs named Sadie and Harley? Why do I have dogs, I’ve never had a pet and why Sadie and Harley?”

“You volunteered your Senior Year for an animal rescue outfit for extracurricular credits. You rescued Sadie; she’s a half dingo, half German Sheppard and fell in love with her. You loved her so much that you moved out of your dorm, got a small studio off campus that would let you have a dog and kept her. Harley, well he is a story within itself. You rescued him too but from an abusive owner who abandoned him, when you found him he was skinny, half dead and timid. Now he’s strong, happy and totally has a crotch obsession.” Jared looks at Jensen like he’s telling the best tale he’s ever heard. “Yeah, but why did I give them the names Sadie and Harley?” Jensen rubs the back of his neck. “Sadie I really don’t know why but Harley had a leather collar around his neck that said Harley Davidson on it so he got stuck with it.” Jared smiles, a knowing look in his eye. “I bet I named Sadie after Sandy’s daughter Sadie. She’s so sweet, because sometimes when Mike can’t watch her she brings her to the tutoring sessions. She is so sweet, quiet and loving.” Jensen smiles before adding. “That’s Sadie alright, well, all but the sweet, because that dog has some issues with being protective.”

Jared thinks about asking the last question but figures what can it hurt. “Do you think Tuesday is going to prove to me that everything you’re telling me is the truth?” Jensen looks seriously at Jared. “It’s the only proof I have Jared. How can I prove something to you that there is no proof for yet, but to tell you the uncontrollable future?”

He thinks about what Jensen said, takes the paper from the table and folds it in half again tucking it back into his pocket. “I think I should go now.” He says wrapping his sandwich up and putting it in his bag with tons of extra napkins. Jensen watches him unable to think of why he should stop him because there is nothing between them, this isn’t the Jared of 2005, this isn’t the Jared he knows and loves, this is the Jared he’s never met, the Jared of 2000 and until he can prove to him that he isn’t lying to him he can’t build anything with him. Jared stands up, looks at Jensen like he’s going to say something but then looks out the window with a distant look in his eyes, but instead turns and leaves.

*********

[Chapter 7](http://j2-ficwhore.livejournal.com/6512.html#cutid1)


	7. Part 7 Finale of A timeless connection J2 big bang

  
*********

[ ](http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a348/Dolavine/?action=view&current=divider_4.jpg)

It’s Monday morning and the alarm goes off, Jensen rolls over slamming his palm down on the button wishing it would break. He didn’t get any sleep at all because all he could think about was Jared walking away from him the day before.

He sits up on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands wondering if class is really as important now as it was 10years ago. Nothing is ever going to be the same again, he’s never going to have that relationship with Jared that he had, that’s gone now. He wishes he could forget the future he’s never going to have but it’s engrained in his brain, even this, his 22 year old college brain that used to only be filled with schoolwork, parties, and sexy men, never lost love.

He rubs his dry eyes, hot and stinging with lost sleep, before heading to the shower. The hot water rushes over his body, his mind still lingering on Jared’s departure. He thinks about why he even bothered to go with him to Subway, why did he need answers to questions he wasn’t even sure were true? Is he searching for a reason to believe? Does he want to believe me? His brain whirring with these thoughts and futile hopes until he thinks he can’t take it anymore.

He showers quickly deciding to go to class because it will make his day go faster and get his mind off of these types of thoughts.

Jared is laying staring up at the dark ceiling, a tiny bit of daylight peeking in the drawn blinds, the sliver of light cuts the ceiling like a blade as he works the waxen brown paper between his fingers, the edges smooth and ragged as he recites the lyrics to Sunshine in his head. He wonders what the music might sound like, what the singer’s voice is like, maybe deep and raspy or soft and throaty, is it punk or rock or hip hop. No it wouldn’t be hip hop he hates hip hop but punk, maybe its punk.

He thinks about the way Jensen’s mouth moved while he was telling him about the dogs and how he ended up with them as pets and smiles, not sure if it’s from the story or the way Jensen’s mouth moved with the words. Jared licks his lips, his eyes closing, remembering the warmth of Jensen’s mouth against his, how the bed felt under him as Jensen pushed in tight to his body their heat being shared in that tiny space. His chest heats up with the swell of bright emotion, his heart beating a quicker rhythm and he feels himself panting as his tongue graces across his lips wanting to experience that touch again.

He reaches down and touches the aching bulge building in his pajama bottoms and he thinks how even though Jensen might be crazy he sure has been the star of his masturbatory fantasies ever since that night in his dorm room. Oh God he’d never let Jensen know that though; don’t want to stir the crazy any more than it’s already been stirred. He bites his lower lip and looks over at Chad still sleeping off last night’s bender and makes sure the pillow is over his face before he even thinks about jerking off.

He slips his hand down under his pajama bottoms pushing the band down with the back of his hand, his fingers pulling his member upwards to lay on his abdomen. It’s already engorged and leaking with need. His fingers dance gracefully down over the swollen shaft to the base and he reaches in the drawer quietly, taking out his hand lotion, putting it under the sheets and squeezing a generous amount on the shaft, the cold squirt shocking and tantalizing at the same time. Jared takes his bottom lip between his teeth, gives one last glance at Chad as he lets his eyes close with the feeling of his hand smearing the gooey lotion up and down his firm flesh, fingers squeezing teasingly with each stroke and he pictures Jensen’s mouth pressed against his, his hands on his hips, their erections jutting tight inside their jeans and the ache is intense. He pulls harder, his hand stopping just below the head and he twists softly smearing the tender flesh under the velvety head before sliding back down to the base. His breath is ragged, tiny noises caught in his throat as he pushes upward into his own fist, his other hand hot and flat on his belly, fingertips grazing over the well defined muscles around his navel and he lets himself sink deeper into his fantasy about Jensen’s mouth. He squeezes his eyes tight, his thumb slipping over the head and lets his other hand sink below the waistband over his hip bone, and down his groin to squeeze his balls and manipulate the silken sacks lightly between his fingers pulling in a breath at the sensation. His hand making soft languishing strokes up and down his hard wanting cock as his hand gently squeezes and then releases the tender sacs shooting pleasure straight to the head of his cock.

Chad groans and turns over in bed. Jared goes completely still, his breath so ragged and fast that he can’t control himself, his eyes fly open as he stares over at Chad watching for any sign of him being awake because if he is he’ll never let him live this down as long as he lives. Chad grunts a little then snorts hard and begins to snore, his back to Jared, pillow still over his head and Jared sighs quietly blowing his bangs up with a puff of hot breath before closing his eyes and relaxing back into his own touch.

He decides to step up his fantasy a notch by doing things with Jensen that they hadn’t actually done and he thinks, _but that’s what fantasizing is all about._ He thinks about what Jensen’s cock must look like, not long and thick like Jared’s, maybe nice sized with a big head and a thick base, sturdy and thick just like Jensen’s body. He thinks about what it might taste like, salty, a bit like sweat but not as pungent, the silken skin flushed red with heat but still a little purple with need just below the surface and Jared wants to put his mouth on it. He licks his lips as his hand increases the pace on his own cock, quicker slip and slide up and down the frictionless shaft. His fingers slipping over the head the tender spongy flesh so sensitive with need, slit damp with precum and he shutters at the touch. His mind racing with thoughts of Jensen’s cock buried deep inside his mouth, the head slipping back and forth over his tongue as he sucks tight, the head pulling at the inside of his lips before pushing back inside deep into his throat and his hand squeezes tighter, pulls faster, his need outranking his wanting to play this fantasy out until he makes Jensen come down his throat but he can’t help it, his hips arch off the bed, his heels digging deep into the bed, a low quiet grunt from the back of his throat and he comes warm and sticky over his hand and belly.

Jared slips his hand out wiping it on the sheet before swiping off his belly quickly then pushing his cock back down below his waistband. He found the paper unscathed by his ejaculation and pushed it into his pocket before gathering his things and heading to the shower.

*****

Halfway through his last class of the day Jensen can’t stop daydreaming about what might happen tomorrow afternoon. He looks at the clock, the hands are moving painfully slow and he can’t help but want to get up and walk out claiming illness or something equally as fabricated. He watches his Professor scribble on the blackboard, circling the words Relationship status and then underlining Modern rituals of the sexual revolution.

His mind drifts back to Jared, to how his hazel eyes twinkle in the sunlight, smile on his face, the cold air making his cheeks pink and he can’t help but think about that kiss, that barely brush of lips. He shakes his head and focuses on what his professor is saying about role reversals in the family unit and how it reflects the social aspects of sexual behavior.  
*****

Jensen takes a deep breath, his room is hot, he’s sweating, the covers are damp and clinging to his bare skin as he tries to kick them off. The moonlight coming through his window dances blue against his walls and he looks at the clock. The red neon light reads 2:30am. He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand and he can’t for the love of God understand why his room is so hot. He gets up and opens his window feeling the cool fall air rushing over him and he closes his eyes, relaxes into the feeling and sits at his desk. He knows this is going to be another sleepless night and he wonders how many more of them he can take before he goes insane.

He sits in the moonlight not turning on his desk lamp and even though the cool air is filling his room he continues to sweat. He reaches over and grabs his bathroom supplies and heads to the showers. The room is dim, empty, and the tile is shockingly cool on his feet. He’s only ever been in the shower room at night once and well that was not to get clean. He likes having it all to himself, gives him a sense of actually being in his house, in his own shower, the peace and comfort of a reality that is not so full of drama.

He lets the water rush down over his body, the warm water rinsing away the sweat that fear and frustration have caused. He leans into the spray, the water baptizing him, making him feel clean for the first time in several weeks and he leans back against the cool tiles of the shower wall. He wants to sleep tonight, feel the overwhelming envelopment of blissful drifting into a better space, a space where Jared isn’t 18 and Jensen isn’t in college all over again.

The water beats over his flesh until it begins to feel slightly prickly on his thighs and Jensen pushes his hips forward letting the water tickle his cock into arousal before he takes it in hand and begins to mindlessly stroke himself into a full erection. He misses his morning showers, either alone or with Jared, those pornographic showers where he releases all of his stress before the day even begins and his hand moves slick over the shaft pumping his fist in a heated frenzy of want. His head lolls back, his mouth open as he squeezes his eyes so tight that he sees bright white lights flickering behind his dark lids and he takes in a hard breath, the feeling of ecstasy overwhelming his brain, his hand working harder, rougher, faster and it’s only seconds after his knees go weak that he pushes hard against the wall and he comes hard into the warm flowing water. His hand working, pumping his cock as it’s spilling all of his desires, needs, wants, and pain in thick white spurts, the water washing them all down the drain.

Jensen throws his wet towel over the chair, checks the clock and climbs back under the sheets, his hair still damp, body tired, mind satiated and he settles into sleep.

*****

Jared tosses and turns, his head rumbling with dreams, thoughts of tomorrow. He wonders if he should go by the library or will it rain? He reaches into his nightstand drawer and pulls out the note. He feels safer with it in his hand; the words scribbled across it somehow comforting to his doubt.

*****

Jensen wakes up with his face buried beneath his pillow as the sun streams in through the open window, his skin cold but comforting after last night’s heat wave. He rubs his eyes and looks at the clock. 9:45am. He sits up frantically. _Damn it! I missed my first 2 classes_ He’s pulling on his jeans and shirt when he looks out the window at the beautiful sunny day, blue cloudless sky and he drops to the bed. He holds his head in his hands. _Rain, it’s supposed to rain today._ He shakes his head. He can’t remember if it started out sunny or if it started out rainy, all he remembers is the events of later that day and he hopes and prays that it starts to rain.  
*****  
Jared sits in Math class looking out the window at the building across the courtyard, it’s the Library. He sighs deeply because the sky is so blue, so clear and he puts his hand in his pocket to feel the worn edges of the note. The lyrics to Sunshine dance through his head and he wishes he knew Sadie and Harley. He pulls his hand from his pocket, puts it in his messenger bag and feels the silken plastic fabric of the umbrella he made sure to pack before he left this morning and his heart sinks, he thinks he might cry. How could he be so taken in by someone so clearly on the edge of insanity? He closes his Algebra book, pushes it into his bag and leaves the classroom.

He’s walking across campus. He can’t believe he left class; this is so not like him, so wrong for his character. School first, life second and never let yourself down, he recites this mantra over and over in his head as he walks quickly past his dorm heading in the direction of Jensen’s dorm. He looks at his watch and its 10am, he realizes he’s probably in a class right now and he sits down on the bench outside the gymnasium staring up the path leading to Jensen’s building. He feels so lost, so taken, so duped and he wants to scream at Jensen, to push him down, manhandle him and then kiss his soft lips into oblivion. He’s so torn up inside for someone he has really only known for a mere few weeks. How can he feel so torn up about him, he doesn’t even really know him? He leans back on the bench letting his hand slip into his front pocket, his fingers finding the edges of the note and softly worrying them under the pads of his thumb and forefinger as he lets his mind drift off.  
*****

Jensen decides he’s not going to go to class today; he’s too keyed up and he’s late for his first two anyway. He finishes dressing, his mind on heading downtown for breakfast. He needs to get out of this room, off of this campus and focus on something else entirely. He pulls on his jacket and heads out the door.

The sun is bright and warm on his face as he walks down main street, the shops just opening up and he ducks into the coffee shop at the end of the street, the smell of fresh baked goods and brewing coffee too much for his senses. He orders a coffee and a banana nut muffin. He settles into a small table next to the window and he looks out into the street, people coming and going, the sound of the espresso machine hissing steam and scalded milk, the smell of toasting bagels overtaking the coffee smells and he sees a guy with a pink Mohawk, black jacket, long shorts and black leather boots riding a bike down the street. He laughs as he spies the cigarette pinched tight between his lips as he looks behind himself to change lanes and Jensen can’t help but find the amusement in it.

He leans back in his seat feeling relaxed for the first time, not worrying about anything, and he lets the feeling settle in. Maybe this is how it can be, maybe this is how it is going to be, me, alone and he tries to wrap his head around it, make sense of this whole mess without being in a frantic panic to have Jared with him.

*****

Jared can’t find the desire to go to the rest of his classes and he heads back to his room. He walks in and throws his messenger bag on his bed before flopping down and he breathes a sigh of relief at the fact that at least Chad won’t be back until sometime later this afternoon. He flops his arm over his forehead while pulling the note out of his pocket again, he looks at the folded up paper, studying it like it might just hold all of the answers to the universe but he knows it doesn’t and he lays it on his chest, palm covering it, the soft rise and fall of his chest with each breath lulling him to sleep.

*****

Jensen ends up back in his dorm room. He spent the afternoon wandering around downtown trying desperately to keep the calm he found in the coffee shop but in the end the closer it gets to 4pm the more nervous he gets. The clock says 3:20 and his palms are sweaty with anticipation.

The sky is still clear but a slight wind is kicking up, the trees swaying in the wind as Jensen watches out of his window. He opens his desk drawer and fiddles with a hand held poker game he had stashed in there trying to keep himself otherwise occupied.

*****

The wind kicks up a notch and a slight mist beats against Jared’s window showering it with tiny droplets.

Chad bursts in the door startling Jared awake. He sits straight up on the bed and Chad shoves his shoulder. “Are you sick Weasel?” He says tearing his clothes off. Jared looks up at him. “No. I’m just not feeling well is all.” Chad scoffs at him pulling on his practice sweats before heading out the door again.

Jared looks out the window, he sees the soft rain hitting it, he looks at the clock and it’s 3:50pm, his heart skips a beat and a huge smile crosses his face. He grips the note tight in his hand shoves it in his pocket and runs out the door without a coat or umbrella.

He hits the asphalt path with speed and determination as he runs down the path towards the Library.

The rain is coming down harder, the drops increasing in size and speed as he runs through the courtyard past the science building, down the path past the fountain and by now the rain is in a steady downpour.

He cuts through people rushing to get out of the rain, his hair soaked, bangs wet and matted to his forehead as he turns the corner and heads down the cement sidewalk to the Library.

His clothes are soaked, his breath hard in his chest and he sees a couple picnicking under the oak tree. He slows his pace, he checks his watch its 4:05 as he reaches the curb next to the couple.

Several pedestrians rush past him, their umbrella’s sheeted with rain as they hurry along and a man’s voice rings out over the sound of rain on taunt fabric. “She said yes and we’re having a baby!” Jared looks over at them as the man kisses the young woman tenderly. He scans the crowd seeing an Asian punk rocker chick with purple hair pumping her fist in the air while giving a cheer and behind her a fat man with a blue and pink umbrella lights a cigar at the bottom of the library steps.

Jared pulls the paper from his pocket and unfolds it, rereads it as the rain beats down on the paper, the ink smudging a little and he starts to cry, his tears hidden by the rain. The words _I’ll be in my dorm waiting_ hit him hard in the gut and he shoves the damp paper into his pocket again.

*****

Jensen watches the rain beat down on the black path, the red numbers on the bedside clock beaconing 4:25pm and he lets his chest deflate with a long breath. It’s almost a relief that Jared hasn’t appeared on the path or at his door. He knows where things stand and he figures that Jared never went to the Library, that he couldn’t bring himself to believe in them, a future with them together.  
*****

He’s not quite sure what he is going to say, what he can say to Jensen and he needs to figure this out. He needs answers to questions that Jensen himself may not even have an answer for. Jared sits on a bench down the path from Jensen’s dorm, his mind filled with so many thoughts, his heart full of emotion and he just can’t bring himself to go to Jensen’s room with so much, so much of everything.

The rain beats down steadily, soaking Jared to the bone, his lips quivering, skin purple with the cold and he looks up at the dorm building again. He doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting here, how long he’s let confusion and knowing consume his every thought but he thinks it’s time, time to see Jensen, time to ask some questions, time for some answers even if they aren’t more than hypothesis on Jensen’s part.

*****

The radio is turned low, the music making sounds to drown out the loneliness in Jensen’s chest and he realizes that he needs to figure out how he is going to move on without Jared. He pushes his pen across the notebook in front of him in no conformed movements as his mind wanders. _I did it before I knew Jared, I can do it again._ His brain screams at him.

Jared climbs the staircase, his shoes squishing with each step. He reaches the floor to Jensen’s room, he opens the door and steps through it his heart racing with each step getting closer to Jensen’s door. He stands in front of the door making a puddle of water as he summons the courage to knock on it and finally he does, three soft taps on the wood before he hears the wooden desk chair slide across the tiled floor, the sound of soft music murmuring in the background and he swallows hard.

Jensen opens the door to the sight of a drenched to the bone Jared standing, correction shivering at his door. He can’t help but feel surprised and a smile turns up the edges of his mouth.

Jared gives a cold half pleading smile before Jensen smiles back at him.

“God Jared, you’re soaked to the bone.”  
“Really, I didn’t notice.” Jared says sarcastically.  
“Honestly Jared.” Jensen says reaching out and pulling him into his room before grabbing his towel off the floor and wrapping him up in it. “You’re frozen.” He leans in close giving him some of his body warmth, feeling Jared’s whole body quake.

Jared isn’t sure if he’s still shaking from the cold or Jensen’s warm embrace and he doesn’t even care anymore as long as he never lets go.

Jensen rubs hard and fast over Jared’s body, the towel already drenched. “  
We need to get you out of these wet clothes.” He says pulling the towel from around Jared’s shoulders. “Why Jensen are you hitting on me?” Jared says smiling, his voice quaking from the cold, his lips still shivering. Jensen chuckles and shakes his head. “Always the wise guy.” He says pulling a pair of sweats out of the dresser drawer. Jared lifts an eyebrow. “Always?” He questions as he sheds his shirt. “Yes Jared, Always.” He lays the clothes on the bed and turns his back to Jared. “Now put those on.”

Jared takes off his slacks making sure he pulls the wet wrinkled and almost disintegrated note from his pocket, smoothes it out on the desk and lays it flat to dry. He drops his underwear on the floor and clears his throat. “Um Jensen do you have a pair of boxers I can borrow?” He covers himself with his hand nervously. Jensen laughs, reaches in the drawer and pulls out a pair. “Here.” He pushes them behind himself and when Jared takes them their hands brush together. Jensen’s heart skips a beat, the thought of Jared naked in his room in need of warmth makes his cock stir but he quickly squelches the feeling swallowing hard and coughing.

“Thanks.” Jared pulls on the underwear and then the warm dry clothes. He sighs deep and touches the cotton fabric. “Okay, you can look now.” Jensen turns around seeing Jared in the gray work out sweats, the shirt a little too short for his waistline, the pants a bit big around the waist but short in the legs and he smiles.

Jensen sits on the edge of the bed; he rubs the back of his neck and starts the conversation. “So I guess you went to the Library this afternoon?” He wants to bury his face in his hands and hide until Jared answers. “Yeah.” Jared says slow and meaningful. He doesn’t know where to start, what to say and he sits down on the desk chair, his lower lip between his teeth.

Jensen folds his hands resting his elbows on his knees and leaning in towards Jared. “So, was everything like I said it would be?” He asks with hesitation and anxiousness.

Jared smiles and looks over at the wet brown paper. “It was like you said it would be.”  
“So what’s the verdict Jared, I’m sure you didn’t walk through the rain with no coat on to my dorm just to wear ill fitting workout clothes.” Jared gives a little laugh. “I believe you Jensen, I really do but how can it be possible, how can you have been here before?”  
Jensen shrugs his shoulders. “Look Jared when I was thirteen I discovered this ability, I can’t explain it, I don’t even understand it and it took me 19years to even think I had it mastered and then this happened. I don’t know why or how or even if anyone else in the world can do it, all I know is that it brought me here to you and I don’t question it anymore.”

Jared stands up and walks over to Jensen and sits down next to him as he looks into his eyes and gives him a pensive smile. “Do I love your freckles in the future?” Jensen looks at Jared his eyes filling with tears. “Yes, you call it your freckle kink.” Jared reaches up and touches Jensen’s face. “I’m going to kiss you now.” He whispers into Jensen’s mouth before pushing in softly, his still chilled lips brushing Jensen’s hot flesh as Jensen moans into the feeling.

Jared breaks the kiss and looks into Jensen’s eyes. “What does that song Sunshine sound like when it’s sung?” Jensen makes a confused face. “Well, really it’s been a while since I’ve heard it but it’s nice. A male singer does it, his voice is smooth and low and it’s considered alternative.” Jared smiles his eyes light up. “Like punk?” Jensen laughs. “Kind of like musically talented tame punked up pop.” “Cool.”

Jared leans in for another kiss but Jensen pulls back, running his fingers through Jared’s still wet hair as he stares into his hazel eyes. “Is this what you really want?” He asks. “Yes. I feel like it’s all I’ve ever wanted. Does that sound weird?” Jensen smiles at him. “You’re asking me if that sounds weird?” He chuckles before leaning in and kissing Jared again.

Their bodies press tight, hands moving over shoulders and down backs groping and sliding as they push themselves up onto the bed squeezing tight together on the small bed. Jensen grinds lightly into Jared’s thigh his erection apparent to Jared as they tangle around each other their mouths refusing to break their kiss.

Jensen slips his hand down the front of Jared’s pants feeling the hot bulge pressing tight against the boxers and he starts to stroke up and down against it, his fingers feeling the tight hot flesh giving with each push and stroke. Jared takes a ragged breath pulling his mouth from Jensen’s and leaning his head back on the pillow, his eyes closed tight, the feeling hot and tantalizing filling his brain. Jensen kisses at his exposed neck, his pulse beating hard in the vein along the side of his throat and Jensen can’t help but lick a line down it. Jared gasps, his shoulders go tense and he arches his hips into Jensen’s steady touch.

Jared’s hands pull on Jensen’s shoulders kneading the flesh as Jensen laves the skin just below his Adam’s apple, dipping into the hollow, sucking at the tender flesh, making Jared spasm with pleasure. His brain fills with deep need and he cries out Jensen’s name as he rocks into the rough slide over his cock. Jared slides his hands down between them over Jensen’s cotton shirt feeling his chest rising with his ragged breaths, his nipples hard points poking through the soft cotton slipping a fingertip over one of them, feeling Jensen press into the pleasure and it sends Jared’s brain into overdrive. He bucks hard into Jensen’s touch begging for more, for him to touch his naked cock. “Please Jensen, please touch me the right way.”

Jensen sits up, pulls off his t-shirt and rolls Jared onto his back, pulls off the sweatpants and boxers freeing Jared’s hard needy cock. It’s long not too thick but full and flushed red, the head swollen with blood begging to be sucked. He slips his fingers over the tight flesh the soft touch tickling Jared almost painfully as he bucks and groans with need before he relaxes again.

Jensen reaches into his nightstand, gets out a small bottle of lube and squeezes it onto his palm before slicking Jared’s cock up with it, his hand stroking softly over the head, his palm tight around the base and he starts the slow slip and slide of pleasure up and down Jared’s hard cock.

Jared feels hot, his eyes fixed on Jensen’s chest, his navel peeking out just above the waistband of his jeans and he wishes he could see his line of pubic hair. He wants to run his fingers through it while Jensen strokes him off. He puts his index and middle fingers into his mouth and begins to sucks on them, the wet heat of his mouth slipping, sliding, and gliding over the sensitive pads.

Jensen watches Jared suck his fingers, his cock gets so hard that it’s painful in his jeans. His hand working Jared’s cock tenderly the slick slide up and down twisting just below the head, his knee pressed tight against Jared’s balls and he wants to free his own erection.

Jared pulls his fingers free, sits up on his elbows and leans forward slipping the two wet fingers under Jensen’s waistband, dipping them down so that he can feel the heat, the top of the bulge hard against the cotton weave. The damp of Jared’s fingers pushing through to Jensen’s cock and he moans shoving his hips into the touch. “Take it out Jared, please.” He groans his knees shaking with the need.

Jared smiles a coy coquettish smile and pulls his fingers out, unbuttons, then unzips Jensen’s jeans sliding them off his hips, his boxers dragging down with them and his cock falls free, the heavy thick base dropping forward just the slightest pull upward. It’s like Jared had imagined, perfect and full and all he wants to do is put his mouth on it. He touches it, his fingers still cold even though the blood coursing through his veins is hot and fast. Jensen hisses with pleasure at the touch, his hips gyrating begging for more contact.

Jared closes his hand around the throbbing member, the heat pulsing through his hand and Jensen increases his thrusts over Jared’s cock. Jared doesn’t know how long he’s going to last with Jensen’s hand working at him so hard, his hand working Jensen’s cock now and he sits up completely, lets go of Jensen and pulls off his shirt before returning his hand to Jensen’s cock.

Jensen leans back on his heels his hips pushing upward, hand moving fast and rough over Jared’s member, his mind a blind mass of desire and disbelief. He can’t believe Jared is here with him that he is touching him, feeling him and he lets go of all his apprehensions about the future. He hears a soft whisper next to his ear. “Let me taste you?” Jared begs a warm hand on his chest, wet tongue riming across his earlobe and he answers. “Yes, taste me.”

Jared reaches down and removes Jensen’s hand from his phallus, helps him settle back on the bed before he climbs over his hips, his needy member dragging heavy thick and wet over the rumpled fabric of Jensen’s jeans pushed down to his knees and he pushes them off, their heavy fabric thudding as they hit the floor. Jared smiles an evil mischievous smile at Jensen, licks his lips and settles on his one elbow, positioning his head over his groin. He takes Jensen’s member in his hand lifting the heavy weight, brushing the head over his wet lips and looks at Jensen watching him through his damp bangs. “I’ve thought about this, masturbated to this image and now here I am thinking about what it looks like to you.” He runs his teeth softly over the head. Jensen clenches his teeth, drawing breath in through them and then he exhales hard. “You’re beautiful Jared.” He runs his fingers through the damp bangs pushing them up off his forehead. “You’re always beautiful to me.” Jared closes his mouth over the head, it fills his mouth, he laves the underside with the tip of his tongue teasing at it and Jensen clutches at the back of Jared’s head. Jared closes his eyes waiting for that needy shove, wanting that feeling of the head forcing to the back of his throat but Jensen just rubs the back of his head, threads his fingertips through his hair and Jared moans before slipping his mouth down over the shaft his lips and teeth tight to the skin, scraping, gliding making Jensen insane with the pleasure.

He glides up and down, tongue flat, letting it work against the hard vein, lapping slightly at the head when he pulls to the top before diving down again slow and meaningfully. Jensen pushes a little bit increasing Jared’s speed and depth, the head brushing the sides of Jared’s cheeks as he angles his head so he won’t choke on it before he can steady himself for the feeling at the back of his throat and then he lets Jensen push it deep into his mouth, to the back pushing against his tonsils. He loves the feeling, the deep full penetration and his own cock jumps between his thighs, head leaking on Jensen’s leg as he softly slips it up and down his thigh moaning at the sensation the hairs are making on the head.

Jensen feels Jared’s cock slipping damp over his thigh but he can’t reach it so he moves his thigh with each movement of Jared’s making it grind and rub over the head along the base while also manipulating his balls. Jared’s eyes roll back in his head the feeling of Jensen in his mouth the taste hot and salty while his cock is being manipulated by Jensen’s thigh sends him to the edge of pleasure. He sucks hard on Jensen’s manhood pulling hard and slow begging it to cum in his mouth and Jensen complies with a loud grunt his hips bucking up, his legs go still and tense hands clutch Jared’s shoulders as the hot wet spurts of his cum shoot hard into Jared’s mouth coating his tongue as he tries to swallow around the thickness of Jensen, his mouth milking Jensen’s cock. Jensen relaxes against the bed spent and limp and Jared pulls off his softening member.

Jared sits up looking at Jensen’s chest panting, his satiated eyes hooded and he smiles at the sight. He takes his cock in his hand and starts to jerk himself off but Jensen stops him by taking his hand. “No Jared, let me.” He lays Jared back, settles between his thighs and licks at the head. His hand holding the pulsating shaft tight and he can tell it won’t be long until Jared cums so he doesn’t waste any time with teasing him. He dives down, puffing his cheeks out, letting the length go as deep as he can take it before sucking hard as he pulls up, his tongue doing that wiggling thing that he remembers Jared liking so much, one down, two up, three down and Jared clutches the sheet pulling hard, his hips push into Jensen’s face as he comes into his mouth. Jensen pulls off grabbing his cock, stroking him through the spasms as Jared cums, it shoots out onto Jensen’s chest, the warm white spurts dripping down between his pecs.

Jared opens his eyes to see the beauty of Jensen staring up into his face, still sitting up on his knees, white cum glistening on his chest and he sits up, pulls Jensen in for a kiss, pushing their chests tight together, sharing the wet mess between them and they fall down onto the bed bodies smashed together, cocks limp and gliding over sensitized against each other. Things couldn’t feel more perfect or more right in Jensen’s world.

It’s a hot heady feeling like being high, his breath so fast and hot, their hearts beating in time together and he can’t imagine perfection being so wonderful. He closes his eyes with the feeling of peace.

Suddenly he feels like he’s running for his life, images flashing behind his closed eyelids, sensations of hot, cold like electricity as he rushes faster and faster his heart on fire and suddenly he stops, jolts in a panic as if brakes are being applied on a speeding car.

He opens his eyes, the feeling of warm sun on his face, Jared slung over his body, and he blinks like he is realizing something but can’t wrap his head around it. He looks at Jared’s face, its older, his hair is longer, more moppy. He looks around the room and it’s not his dorm room, it’s his bedroom back in his house, his own house. He sits up, the dog stirs at the end of the bed, Sadie’s head up over the mattress. He looks at his hand, a silver wedding band on his left hand; he grabs Jared’s hand, same band on his left hand. He shakes with joy.

Jared opens his eyes and grunts. “Morning baby.” He rolls over pulling the sheet off of him exposing his naked body. “It’s hot in here.” He says sitting up, the dogs rushing over to him. “I’ll go make some coffee while you take a shower. You passed out last night after our sexathon.” He winks at him, leaning in and kissing him on the mouth. That feeling Jensen remembers so well of warm lips tight to his that full grown mouth over his.

He watches Jared pull on his pajama bottoms and sleepily saunter out of the room. He gets up, looks around, wonders if it was a dream but no, no, it couldn’t have been it was too realistic. He sits up on the edge of the bed rubbing the back of his neck and laughing. Maybe it was a dream. What a wild dream he thinks slipping into his slippers before heading to the bathroom.

He showers, his mind buzzing with thoughts. He dries off, pulls on his pajama bottoms and walks out into the hall; Sadie is waiting for him as always right outside the door. He pats her head and heads down the hall towards the stairs. He notices pictures lining the walls that weren’t there before and he stops to look at them.

The first one is of himself and a very young looking Jared at a carnival, another of them seems to be at Jensen’s college graduation commencements with his parents. He looks at another of them at Jared’s commencements with both of their families. One picture is them in front of their house; Jared is holding the sold sign as they kiss on the front porch. He walks down the hall looking at all the pictures, the memories of them flooding his brain like he’s opening doors with each one, remembering things that happened but he can’t actually remember being there for them but he was there, the proof is here in these pictures.

He smiles, his heart full of love as he learns his life with Jared started in 2000 in college when he stops at the last picture frame. It’s not a photograph but a mounted memento of their love. He puts his hand on the glass as he looks at the Brown ripped piece of paper bag with the smudged black ink lyrics to Sunshine scribbled on it and he looks at the hand written message across the white mounting at the bottom of the frame. **_My first Love Letter From Jensen 2000._**

Jared calls from the kitchen up the stairs breaking Jensen’s trance. “Hey sleepy head, coffees ready when you are.”

Jensen walks into the kitchen his mind reeling with all of his new memories overtaking the old ones and he grabs Jared from behind wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing his neck. “Did I ever tell you how much I love you?” He says into his neck.

Jared smiles and turns around in his arms looking down into his face. “Only each and every day for the past 10yrs.” They kiss a deep and passionate kiss, as Jensen thinks he’s never losing this again. His life is better now, he and Jared have shared their lives together for 10 years and the thought of possibly losing him again isn’t even a possibility in his mind. He vows silently to himself that slipping isn’t in their future because there isn’t anything they can’t handle in the present or future together.

The end 

I hope you have enjoyed the story and feedback is much appreciated.


End file.
